Hi,
This is a bit of a long story but almost 2 years ago I found out that my fiance and partner of 15 years was seeing someone from work. We had just built a new house together and were planning on getting married. We had always been the couple people thought would be together forever. He told me it was a friendship.and swore the same to his family. I asked him to move home while we talked and tried to work through things and he did. During the summer of 2018 he moved back home and I though things were on the right track even though my gut couldn't really trust him. He said all the right things, he loved me, wanted a family with me, I was the love of his life, she was an escape, but he didnt seem to be the same person.
Fast forward to september 2018 and to cut a long story short, i found out that he was still seeing her, was on the way to a 4 day family wedding with her when i confronted him. They had been sleeping together the whole time, she has 3 kids with another man and is older.
After that confrontation, he went to the wedding!! Said he wanted to marry her and have kids with her. When he came back he text regularly to talk, I couldn't, I was broken. He came to our home while I wasnt there and took his things. It was 2 months before I had the courage to meet him. He said he wanted to come home to me all the time, wanted a family with me, his life had no purpose, he would kill to be with me etc.
I wanted so much to.take him back but the trust was completely broken, I asked him to get help, to move home to his parents...he had moved straight in with her after that wedding!! I hoped he would sort himself out and show me that but it didnt seem to be happening. I got one text after that talk and no more. His family couldn't understand what was going on with him.
I found out from bank statements that he stole all the money from our joint account so contacted a solicitor and got the ball moving on trying to buy his half of our home. I didnt earn as much and it was going to be really difficult to take on everything but I didnt want him selling my home too or moving in with her and her children. I offered him every bit of money he put into the house, through the solicitor. This was rejected, he wanted double that! I never would have thought he could be so cruel. I was so fair even though I was devastated, my life ripped out from under me and him living with another woman and her 3 kids. Eventually I had to get a new job, help from family and sell some things to pay him the extortionate amount for the house.
I then found out through an updated WhatsApp picture that he had married her in the meantime...within a year of begging me to come home. I found out from bank statements that he bought the ring 5 days after begging me to come home!
I am devastated...I miss him so much, I miss our life, I cant believe the lies, betrayal, stealing, cruelty, how much of a coward he turned out to be. I have tried very hard to move on and make a new life for myself but I find it hard when I think that 15 years could mean so little and he moved on without a second thought for me or the horrible situation he put me in.
I know this is very long and really is the tip of the iceberg as far as his lies and betrayal go but I was just hopi g for some suppport and advice...thank you.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Cheated on and abandoned, long story
Nev85 · 12/04/2020 17:01
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