DP is working away, I think his company are taking the P*** (sorry quite long)

[Sixer]

I've put this in relationships because it affects the whole family.
We arrived back from holiday on the saturday, sunday night DP had a call from boss to work away for the week. This is not the norm. He has done the odd night before. DP left on the tuesday (clothes, us not ready for the monday). He came back on friday evening and said he was also on call for the weekend. The phone rang 5/6 times over the weekend, each time it was greeted with a sigh from both of us. DP managed to farm the jobs out and pulled in a few favours so we could enjoy our weekend as a family. He had to go again on monday, so is away all this week as well. It looks like the company will be asking him to do a 3rd week, which he is adamant he's not going to. The icing is, the company are paying digs and breakfast, he has to pay for an evening meal and claim back (which we won't see in his pay until 2 weeks later), and nothing else except his normal hourly rate. My question to you is what do you think he should be receiving for working away, what allowances are normal. We are really missing him (DS1 nearly 6 is bed wetting, and has never done this before), he is really missing us. He never agreed in any contract that he would work away and we think he should be paid a decent allowance/bonus.

[Isababel]

The only allowance we get is probably taking a few hours off in lieu of the time away. It never equates with the hours missed by not being at home, or by dumping all his parental responsabilities on me.

But I know one thing... He can say no, and demand for shorter trips.

[lupo]

Same here, I begged dh to book today off from his new bloody job whch seems to involve driving around the country, last night he is told that he has to drive up north at 5pm and didnt get back in til 10.30 tonight, so has missed ds 3rd birthday..

just wished he listened to me and booked the bloody day off grrrrrrrrr

feel like a single mother sometimes

[fingerwoman]

dp often has to do this and we don't get an allowance as such- his company charge to hire him out for consultancy and he sees a percentage of that, but it depends how much the sales team have charged the customer

It is sucky in some ways, but then it is part of his job so he has to do it- if he didn't then they'd get someone who would

[fingerwoman]

plus, he gets paid a fair whack anyway, which kind of compensates for having to do long hours and work away from home.

He could easily get a job that was 9-5 done and dusted, but he wouldn't get paid as much basic salary for it

[Sixer]

still it's something. DP will defo be saying no to next week, with a "stick it up your arse" if they don't like it.

[Sixer]

He took the flippin job on because it was 9 - 5 and we weren't fussed about the money as long as he saw the DC and I regularly. They keep moving the goal posts.

[Sixer]

does anyone else have experience of DP/DH working away that could give us ideas on what companies pay ?

[fleacircus]

DP used to have a job that involved occasional trips away. He got paid his normal rate plus overtime for extra hours he spent working/travelling, but nothing for the 'free' time while still away. And the same arrangement; company booked travel and hotels but he had to reclaim meals on expenses. He had a specific credit card he only used for expenses because he'd get the money before the bill that way. It was crap though and often at short notice because it was always when something went wrong that he was needed. The worst time he was sent to Switzerland allegedly for the day and the client wouldn't let him leave; he was stuck there for nearly a week and had to buy shirts and toiletries on his brief periods away from their office. It was just before Christmas and at one point it looked as though he was never going to escape. He's working for a different company now and much happier now that he doesn't have to travel so much, although he does still have the occasional couple of days away.

[Sixer]

its crazy in my mind, especially as this wasn't the norm when he took the job on. It's seriously affecting the children partically the eldest who is come up 6. In nearly two weeks i've had 5 bed changes, one beanbag (also with wee on) and 3 nights bad dreams, and ending up in with me.

[Oblomov]

If you repost this thread in employment section, then flowerybeanbag and other HR people may be able to advise.

[LizP]

My dh is away this week and never gets paid extra for being away, but like fingerwoman his basic salary is good and he gets a good bonus too. He probably has to claim quite a bit back on expenses each time, not travel or the room but the rest I should think - he even has to pay for his own phone and claim back calls inspite of the fact that most of the calls are for work. I don't have too much problem with the Monday - Friday trips it's the ones that involve travelling at the weekend or the 2 week trips to Japan/Australia that I find most difficult. The children do miss him, but then he has always gone away and has missed all their birthdays at least once, so they are kind of used to it. Also most of their friends have fathers who travel at times for work so it is 'normal' to them.

[WideWebWitch]

It depends. What does his contract say? What is the industry? How employable is he? Is it an emergency or will this go on? Is he paid for being on call? Is it enough? Is there a rota system?

On the whole, if they said no travel and have suddenly added this in then it's not reasonable

What does he feel about it?

[cmotdibbler]

In my company you get nothing extra for being away on business - no time back in lieu for weekend travel, no extra pay, or bonus. We pay for everything, and then claim it back on expenses, which can come through weeks after you put them in. My contract is 30% travel, and at times its been more like 70% - but that was before I had DS. Now its down to 20% or so.
DH is also out of the office a lot, and equally, gets nothing extra for it.

[Sixer]

Thanks everyone for your posts.
I put this post here because I was thinking how it's affecting the DC and also seeing DP in tears on Monday as he was leaving was horribly upsetting. To be honest I didn't spot the employment section , but now i know there is one i probably will post there over the weekend as well.
His contract doesn't mention nights away and DP wouldn't have taken the job if it had. He took it because it is more or less a 9-5. (his views are he would rather spend time raising the DC and being there for them). The industry he works in is applied maintenance. (Jack of all master of none so to speak). The company took the job on, priced it weeks in advance (so could have put it to him, how he feels about it etc beforehand) knowing very well that DP is the only skilled person in the company that could do it. The callout side of things is on a rota, and it was unfortunate that his week on was after working a week away as well.
So as we thought the company now wants him to do a 3rd week away. We've checked his wages this week and due to doing more hours we are £60 better off for him working away. This in my mind is certainly not worth it. The company have offered a bonus at the end, to try and bribe him into a 3rd week, however one of the electricians has said they often do that but don't pay up, for one reason or another. I am so cross that we have been forced into this situation.

[Sixer]

sorry about spellings!

[Oblomov]

sixer, sorry I didn't mean to be rude. I know why you posted it in this section. Because it is affecting the whole family. And that of course I understand and makes sense.
Its just that HR people know more about these things and someone like flowery, often checks the employment sections, I would think.
It would then, jump out at her and she may be able to offer you sopme very good HR advice, that we know nothing about.
HTH

[KTNoo]

Just skimmed the whole thread - sounds fairly similar to our situation, i.e. working away at short notice, on call at weekends etc. dh is just back from 6 weeks away, but that's not normal. It's not great but the 3 dcs are usually ok, it's me who's knackered.

I think whether or not anything can be done has to be based on judgement of the job situation. My dh could in theory say no some of the time, and occasionally does. But he knows that these things are remembered when the time comes for lay-offs. He doesn't get specific bonuses but is paid well. I do realise that this means I have not had to work when the dcs were little. Contracts only count for so much imo - in reality it's a case of getting the work done and they don't really care how you do that.