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Why does she suggest friendship while in a new relationship?

(18 Posts)
dannyfromnz Wed 08-Apr-20 19:37:13

Hello!

I dated a girl for only 3 months quite seriously and it started in March last year and we had quite a good time together like celebrating easter with her family etc. In the end of May the same year she went to Spain on a holiday for 3 weeks ( from Sweden ) . Eventually she came back and avoided me by not seeing me even if we only live 45 kms from each other and both of us own a car. So after a while she ended the relationship because her feelings had faded.

After that it took her only 3 weeks to meet another guy where she jumped into the relationship straight away and tried to hide it from me on social media. One evening i happened to find their relationship on facebook by one of them sharing a post from a group about their relationship and how perfect it was. Seeing this made me send her a message saying that I was right about her and that I was very pissed off and basically asked her to fuck off. So she did by sending me a couple of short replies and blocking me.

In October the same year I found out that I had scabies , and as she`s got psoriasis I thought I`d take my responsibility and tell her that I might have infested her with it. I called her so we had a chat for a few minutes. After a little while she ended it by saying she had to go which is understandable because she was in a new relationship at the time.

Since then she hasn`t contacted me until last weekend when I published a picture on snapchat with my motorbike. 12 hrs afterwards she replies to it and excuses herself for not calling me back , and out of nowhere she suggests friendship. As i haven`t been all that active on snapchat she`s obviously been stalking me

She`s in a relationship since almost 6 months back. I just don`t get why she`d want me in her life suddenly. So I´d really appreciate any advice about understanding and handling all this.

Thank you in advance!

Shoxfordian Wed 08-Apr-20 19:54:35

She's a waste of your time

Don't be anyone's option

noyoucannotcomein Wed 08-Apr-20 20:17:57

In October the same year I found out that I had scabies , and as she`s got psoriasis I thought I`d take my responsibility and tell her that I might have infested her with it.

Even though you hadn't seen her since when, June?

Was this medical advice given to you?

DysonFury Wed 08-Apr-20 20:26:56

confused

dannyfromnz Wed 08-Apr-20 21:58:29

No , I didn`t have a doctor advising me to do so , but I still cared about her , and that it would be a disaster if she had both scabies and psoriasis ,,

Thank you all for your replies! I really appreciate it!

Durgasarrow Thu 09-Apr-20 12:17:05

She's bored.

SwerfandTurf Thu 09-Apr-20 12:35:18

Women are conditioned to be nice and to want to get along with people.

You’ve treated this woman badly: being abusive to someone you’re no longer dating just because she didn’t wait as long as you thought she should have waited to start dating again is insanely possessive.

Waiting three weeks to start dating again after the end of a very short-term relationship is not moving on quickly. You only dated this woman for three months, why are you stalking her social media and screaming at her for dating someone new?

You complain that your ex tried to “hide” the fact she was in a new relationship (when she doesn’t owe you anything), but she put it on Facebook so she clearly wasn’t hiding anything.

Complaining that she’s “stalking” you because she looked at your social media once (when you admit to doing the same thing to her) is also very odd.

She probably regards you as some guy she used to quite like, briefly dated, has moved on from, but would like to be on good terms with. All perfectly normal. Stop making such a big deal about it.

ShiveringCoyote Thu 09-Apr-20 12:52:45

You thought she could have caught scabies from you after months apart? Your false concern about her psoriasis and scabies is ridiculous. Your doctor would have advised you to tell people you would have been in contact with for the past month not an ex you sent an abusive message to 5 months ago. Quit your weird stalker ways and move on.

BuzzingButterfly Thu 09-Apr-20 13:06:31

Leave the poor lass alone and grow the hell up.

QuaffthisKindNepenthe Thu 09-Apr-20 14:34:29

You sound like a typical Kiwi manchild slash possessive psycho.

dannyfromnz Thu 09-Apr-20 17:38:01

Jesus ,, there's plenty of idiots around who can't read properly ,, I haven't stalked her during this time , I did leave her alone and moved on but it was her who contacted me. At this point I'd rather be left alone and not having anything to do with her.

Now learn to read properly or get out of here

noyoucannotcomein Thu 09-Apr-20 18:08:27

*I did leave her alone and moved on but it was her who contacted me. At this point I'd rather be left alone and not having anything to do with her.

Now learn to read properly or get out of here*

You called her to tell her you had scabies  You did not need to do that and if you did, you could have texted.

If you so desperately want to be left alone and have nothing to do with her, then block her.

Sorry you didn't get the replies you hoped for.

conduitoffortune Thu 09-Apr-20 18:11:52

*
Now learn to read properly or get out of here*

😂😂

Dilisk Thu 09-Apr-20 18:19:22

You’ve treated this woman badly: being abusive to someone you’re no longer dating just because she didn’t wait as long as you thought she should have waited to start dating again is insanely possessive.

This. Which is in fact a perfectly accurate reading of your original post. She was no longer going out with you. Whether she started a new relationship within three weeks or ten minutes after she ended her brief relationship with you is none of your business, and only an extraordinarily unpleasant individual would attack her for it.

SwerfandTurf Thu 09-Apr-20 19:23:43

Dude, you phoned a woman you dated only briefly weeks after you broke up to scream at her for daring to date someone new, admitted to looking at her social media, then claimed she was “stalking” you just because she uses Snapchat.

You’re acting like is your ex-wife of 20 years, not some girl you dated for a couple of months ages ago.

EmotionalFlood Thu 09-Apr-20 19:30:07

The problem is you're male and it always seems 98% of women on here loath men and think "they're all the same" if you were posting as a woman... you'd get totally different and supportive answers, "move on, he's using you, you're worth so much more etc". People on here are sexist like that so I wouldn't take it to heart envy

Sounds like she's potentially lining you up incase bachelor number 2 doesn't work out. Balls in your court so to speak. But I'd block and run. Ex's are ex's for a reason. Chin up!

Crystal87 Thu 09-Apr-20 19:31:27

She's entitled to end things with you and move onto a new relationship. She didn't do anything wrong and you reacted badly to it. She doesn't want a relationship with you for whatever reason so I would just forget her and move on. Who knows her reasons for suggesting friendship and it's little unfair of her to give you false hope but I think you're reading too much into it. Move on.

SwerfandTurf Thu 09-Apr-20 21:53:31

Pretty sure a woman posting that she dated a guy for a few weeks, then after they split up she monitored his social media and phoned him to scream at him for dating someone new would have her arse handed to her.

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