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The long distance thing is not working out.

(11 Posts)
whoisjazzy Tue 11-Sep-07 13:22:37

I met a man online 3 years ago.

When we first got together he said he would come and see me weekly and the odd days that he's off work.

That quickly changed to once a fortnight.

So now we only see each other every other weekend and I don't think this can work anymore. During the week we speak via msn and its such a predictable conversation every bloody night:
"hiya babe"
"hi, hows you?"
"i'm good, you?"
"i'm good"
" so what you been upto today then?"

Its become so boring that when he asks me what I've done that day I just say "Nothing" because I cant be arsed to type everything down that ive done within the space of a day.

Important times he's hardly ever here, like christmas for instance...first christmas he spent with his grandad. Second christmas he said he had to spend with his mum and this christmas he's said he will be working. I wonder what the point of being part of a couple is if you spend more time on your own. Especially at times like christmas.

If ever there is a show on we can never go unless its on "his" weekend, my favourite band are playing one show this year and we cant go as it falls on the wrong weekend.

Everynight I'm sat talking to a pc screen instead of cuddled up with someone on the sofa. Surely this can't work out?

bluejelly Tue 11-Sep-07 13:24:50

sounds odd to me, how far away does he live?

mankyscotslass Tue 11-Sep-07 13:25:41

Have you spoken to him about this? If so what is his response?
I have to be honest and say all sorts of alarm bells are going off for me.
Have you met his family/friends?
It sounds like you are not getting a lot out of this at all. Time for a serious chat with him I think.

Blu Tue 11-Sep-07 13:29:01

Why don't you go to him?

Sounds very odd to me - and, no, sorry, but i don't think it can work out. 3 years is long enough to have made a move to spend mor time together one way or another. Sounds like he is leading a double life to me. Sorry to say. Or does he spend alternate weekends with children from a separation, or something? Even so...3 years like this?

daisyandbabybootoo Tue 11-Sep-07 13:29:23

I'm hearing alarm bells too. You need to discuss with him about moving the relationship on. If he wants it to carry on on these terms, then hard though it may be (or maybe not as you sound fed up with it already) you need to end it and move on.

whoisjazzy Tue 11-Sep-07 13:37:40

He lives in Tyneside and I live in East Yorkshire.

I have never met his family or friends. Ages ago he invitd me to a family party but kept saying he had forgot the date etc knowing that I had to arrange childcare and in the end we didn't go.

He did invite me to his cousins christening a few weeks ago but that wasn't near his home, his cousin lives in Rochdale. I chose not to go.

When I ask why he doesnt want me going to his house he says its because its embarrasing as his parents never tidy up and the flat is a huge mess. I say I don't mind and he says he does.

He doesn't have children from a previous relationship so spends alternate weekends working yet sometimes he will take the day off for no reason and just laze around playing computer games all day.

I have spoken to him, told him we don't see each other enough to make this work and he just says "dont I get a say in this" and always manages to talk me around, I'm not sure how.

mankyscotslass Tue 11-Sep-07 13:43:32

Sorry, but I do feel there is either a double life here, or he likes having his lads life and you on the side when he feels the need. I know that's a bit blunt, but he has everything his way, and is not respecting you as a partner. Sounds like you need to draw a line if he is not even going to acknowledge there is an issue.

PeterDuck Tue 11-Sep-07 13:47:59

Message withdrawn

evenhope Tue 11-Sep-07 14:43:26

I hope I'm wrong but as I read the OP I felt strongly that this man has a wife and kids somewhere

fawkeoff Tue 11-Sep-07 14:47:18

can i ask why there are no alarm bells ringing as to he could have a family??

mankyscotslass Tue 11-Sep-07 15:51:10

Evenhope, that was my initial feeling too. sad

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