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Arguments or abuse

(6 Posts)
Springtime003 Thu 26-Mar-20 07:12:26

Had enough now of what I think is my abusive husband. I do also give some too so not sure if we are both abusive. I end up in tears stressed and he escapes and wants to resume normality after a few days and says “ I drive him to that / there is no talking to me/ I am too loud etc”

He blames me as I will talk loudly / down at him and swear at him when he is in his moods. Yes I admit I do this but he starts things tears around the house in foul moods if I “start to annoy him” and calls me names eg “fucking psycho bitch” if we are having a big argument.

We have 3 young children and I can’t have them experiencing this. I do more than him although he does help but he lies in when off work while I sort out their breakfast. When I force him to get up he says I am “nagging and my voice is annoying”.

The other day he wrestled the remote control out of my hand in front of them and cut my hands in the process. These arguments have got worse after stopping having sex. He wouldn’t push me or ask for it but he is clearly frustrated but I’m put off by him being unsupportive and not a priority with three children one is at school 2 are not.

He will then escape and avoid talking/ block my calls say it’s my fault as I shout.
If I ask to talk he refuses says he can’t speak to me as there is no talking to me.

I admit I have called him a fucking prick etc but he pushes me to the limit. He is still working through this and he leaves quietly each day to avoid speaking to me despite me being very upset and sending messages so children don’t hear me on the phone to which he ignores.

pog100 Thu 26-Mar-20 07:18:11

It honestly doesn't matter whose fault it is, though it does seem to be him behaving the worst, but this relationship seems to be over. You need to be making steps to separate. It sounds like you would both be happier. It's not easy right now, I'm sorry.

Springtime003 Thu 26-Mar-20 09:37:11

He refuses to admit any wrong saying I annoy him and act like a lunatic. I probably do but it’s from frustration not being able to discuss issues like adults. I admit my behaviour is wrong

Washedoutlady Thu 26-Mar-20 17:48:29

How about looking at the areas that are up setting you. Firstly you say he goes in moods. Don't try and work out why. Take a step back leave him in his mood let it blow over then at a later time when things are calmer just say you have been abit quiet is everything OK.
Look at your own behaviour and really think about how you are feeling. If he starts to annoy you just count to ten go for a walk. You may find his behaviour changes once yours does. I don't know the both of you or who is saying and doing what but start off by giving him some space and being calm. That way you know you have been very reasonable patient and wait and see what happens. If he's in a mood and you shout etc then you are the scape goat. He may just start to think about things if you're quieter.

NoMoreDickheads Thu 26-Mar-20 22:25:13

He sounds horrible OP. You're wrong in calling him a fucking prick- he's verging on being a fucking arsehole.

Justtryingtobehelpful Sun 29-Mar-20 05:37:20

No. It's him. He is taking his anger and frustration out on you. Then, when you get annoyed and blow up at him, he turned out around.
There is something be called www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://dynamic.uoregon.edu/jjf/defineDARVO.html&ved=2ahUKEwjtr8Hy7b7oAhXDThUIHTE3AjkQFjAAegQIBBAB&usg=AOvVaw1KL-zfXvFMHuDAhaxPvCuI
Also read Lundy Bancroft's book 'Why Does He Do That? docdro.id/py03
For further help.
You need to stamp out his nonsense. If he doesn't, then consider your next steps....

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