My DP was arrested a few nights ago for DV and I'm feeling really awful about the whole thing and so guilty. It had happened 2 nights previously as well and the neighbours called the police because of the noise. At that time I said I didn't want to report him. But then it happened a few nights ago and when the police were called again by the neighbours I agreed they could arrest him and he spent the night in a police cell. He is now currently on bail and with his mum and dad.
I have since decided I don't want it to go to court as I honestly can't face it and feel the whole thing was half my fault anyway. One of his bail conditions is to not have any contact at all with me and so I've only been in touch with his mum. Apparently he's very depressed about the situation. He threw things around, grabbed my arms tightly leaving numerous bruises, pulled my hair, slapped me around the face and pinned me down on the bed and wouldn't let me go for absolutely ages. As a former victim of rape this absolutely terrified me and I've been having nightmares. I have to say though that when he finally let me go I was so livid that I also tried to give him a few slaps, said he was a fucking assholes and told him never to touch me again.
Both my DP and I have alcohol issues and were drinking heavily on those 2 occasions. The problem is that he has also lost it on occasion when sober and has pinned me up against the wall or bruised my arms to the extent I have had to cover them up with a cardigan in case people in work ask questions.
I feel guilty about what happened as I am a horrible drunk and have a really sharp and cutting tongue. I know I said some awful things to him. I'm also absolutely mortified about what the neighbours must think. We only moved in together 6 weeks ago!
I don't really know what I want from this post. Sorry! I just needed to write this down as can't sleep. I know I was wrong for hitting him too and for being so absolutely horrible. sometimes words can nearly be worse abuse than physical.
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Relationships
Domestic violence-I feel it was half my fault
45 replies
Loula82 · 26/03/2020 05:20
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Francesthemute ·
26/03/2020 05:43
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