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Is someone monitoring this site properly

(59 Posts)
Eardropper Wed 25-Mar-20 22:34:08

Reading through threads from time to time there is an awful lot of utter tosh on here! This is, for some, a place where people seek advice? Seems to be full of people who hit the ‘leave him/her’ button not knowing anything about the lives of the posters at all. Not one person has suggested anything else.
‘Working on it’ always seems to be frowned upon - why is this? Seems to me that the people giving ‘good advice’ are bitter from their own failings, get over whatever it was before you start ‘giving advice’ out. Good luck to you, but please don’t give others poor advice. Your not their friends and you seem to thrive on the entertainment of divorce or stories of abuse. This section should be removed to stop such bad advice being given and believed by what are clearly vulnerable people. Shame on you mumsnet for allowing this.

willowpatterns Wed 25-Mar-20 22:43:51

That's the internet for you - tosh everywhere.

AuntieStella Wed 25-Mar-20 22:45:25

The solution is at your fingertips.

Post the advice you think is better on the threads in question.

HollowTalk Wed 25-Mar-20 22:46:19

I know. There's nothing worse than encouraging a woman to raise her standards and impose some boundaries.

JuanSheetIsPlenty Wed 25-Mar-20 22:48:06

Is someone monitoring this site properly

There is a woman, but she’s on annual leave. I think the caretaker sticks his head in now and again to check the pipes haven’t burst but that’s it.

hmm no. There isn’t “someone” monitoring this site on the lookout for “tosh” advice. Because this is a site for adults who are expected to be able to work out for themselves what’s tosh and what’s not. This isn’t school.

AnyFucker Wed 25-Mar-20 22:48:52

Thanks for stopping by

Dyrne Wed 25-Mar-20 22:50:03

U ok hun?

RoomR0613 Wed 25-Mar-20 22:51:00


Or perhaps they already did...

moonriverandme Wed 25-Mar-20 22:51:46

Did someone on this section tell your partner they could do better?

PorpentinaScamander Wed 25-Mar-20 22:52:26

Well if "someone" deleted all the threads with (sometimes) shit advice on it, then there wouldn't be a lot left would there hmm

ADreamOfGood Wed 25-Mar-20 22:52:33

Or you could answer every thread in this section and give your advice on how to work on it and save the relationship?
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

FruHagen Wed 25-Mar-20 22:53:10

What should happen if some tosh is identified? Should it be deleted maybe. Tosh-be-gone!

OhNoNoNoNotThatOne Wed 25-Mar-20 22:54:25

Because when giving advice, you go from your own experience, even if it's not 100% relevant to the post. This is because we are not mind readers and don't know what the poster hasn't told us.

Plus we're adults here, like others have said, you don't have to listen to the advice that isn't suitable. People only try to be friendly here.

Also, there are moderators, but tend to deal with actual problematic posts, not posts that you deem tosh.

playthestation Wed 25-Mar-20 22:54:24

Did she leave you?

Winterlife Wed 25-Mar-20 22:54:31

I have suggested in the past that posters work on issues. This is true particularly if children are going to suffer from the fallout. However, I think more often than not, posters have already made up their minds on an issue, and come for validation of their perspective. I also would never suggest a woman stay with an abusive partner.

JuanSheetIsPlenty Wed 25-Mar-20 22:58:21

Usually by the time someone is posting online for advice about their relationship the problems are long standing and very hard to fix unless both parties are fully engaged in the process. However it is very often apparent from what the OP says that their partner simply isn’t. So it’s a no-goer. No point wasting any more time, accepting any more shitty treatment just to drag out the inevitable.

DontBe Wed 25-Mar-20 23:04:55

not knowing anything about the lives of the posters at all.

How would anyone know the lives of the posters? You give advice based on the information given.

Good luck to you, but please don’t give others poor advice. You’re not their friends

Which can be a good thing as friends will often just tell you what you want to hear.

MashedSpud Wed 25-Mar-20 23:10:09

Do you take every piece of advice given to you op?

It’s not mandatory to follow advice given here or anywhere but don’t get upset when people aren’t telling you what you want to hear.

Thepigeonsarecoming Wed 25-Mar-20 23:10:41

OP if a situation is so serious a poster has come to Mumsnet for advice then it probably does deserve the advice to leave, mostly posts are for reassurance they are doing the right thing

However queries about more minor relationship struggles do get other advice, just because you haven’t read them doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I’ve never read a post on here about a hamster but I’m sure they are out there!!

Most people won’t post minor arguments on here, unless they are the lighthearted threads

I think you are overthinking this OP 🤷‍♀️

HeddaGarbled Wed 25-Mar-20 23:12:02

I think that every single sentence you have written is ‘utter tosh’. Do you think that the Mumsnet moderators should delete your posts and close down this forum because I disagree with you?

Leobynature Wed 25-Mar-20 23:13:02

I agree with you OP. It’s also a site where all the self-righteous people have wonderful amazing husbands who have great high-earning jobs, come home and do all the cooking, cleaning and childcare. If you so much mention in perfect qualities in your husband which is not ‘light hearted’ his an ‘arse’, ‘controlling’ or ‘abusive’ and you should ‘definitely Leave him and raise your standards’.

Aerial2020 Wed 25-Mar-20 23:25:16

Sounds like a troll

annamie Wed 25-Mar-20 23:55:49

‘Working on it’ always seems to be frowned upon - why is this? Seems to me that the people giving ‘good advice’ are bitter from their own failings, get over whatever it was before you start ‘giving advice’ out.

Oh I bet you're one of those.

Op posts 'husband has sex with me in my sleep, I hate it' - you'll post 'be grateful your husband wants sex with you, you have to please your man to keep him happy.'

OP posts 'I had a fight with DH and shouted at him, he pushed me into the wall' you'll post 'you provoked him by being aggressive and shouting at him.'

In short, you will always the blame the woman, OP. I've seen your type a lot on MN.

RUSU92 Thu 26-Mar-20 00:02:25

I heard that there's a man who monitors it so that when women get ideas above their stations they can be deleted. He must have been on holiday. How dare those uppity women tell other women to expect their DH not to be a total dick?

ErrolTheDragon Thu 26-Mar-20 00:11:01

No, the site isn't 'monitored' - except by its members.

If you see something that you think shouldn't be there, then you report it. The moderators (aka MNHQ) will then decide what to do.

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