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So for those of us not cohabiting.....

(77 Posts)
MozzchopsThirty Tue 24-Mar-20 20:43:13

Are these the only options???

If I go and live with my boyfriend, but we both go to separate places of work, how will that work?
How is it any different to me being here and him being there and me driving over?

Stressedout10 Wed 25-Mar-20 09:30:53

Yes we are in lock down.
Oh and its different because you will then be risking 2 households rather than 1

Qwerty543 Wed 25-Mar-20 11:42:01

I'm struggling too.

DP stays over a lot. I'm WFH, he isn't but only works with 1 person and provisions are in place for the (few now) public. He lives in a house share with 2 people who are WFH but over the next 3 weeks is only due to be there for a handful of nights anyway as he's got some AL that he was staying here for. I'm struggling to see how it's a problem and when it's just me and my DCs cooped up I'm craving adult contact as I end up going a bit mad and I don't even have work to get me out, just a walk around the block.

Sosounhappy Wed 25-Mar-20 11:44:58

We are on lockdown we need to do this properly to save lives

TheStuffedPenguin Wed 25-Mar-20 12:13:48

OMG what do people not understand ?

n00bMaster69 Wed 25-Mar-20 12:15:00

It's really not difficult to maintain contact with a partner during lockdown. You text, phone, FaceTime , online gaming together etc

RLEOM Wed 25-Mar-20 12:15:28

Yeah, I don't think you're understanding the severity of it. Stay separate until it's over.

OhMargo Wed 25-Mar-20 12:16:34

We agreed to go into self isolation in our own homes.

It's not easy but we are coping. This too shall pass. We have to try to be unselfish and do is requested for the good of everyone.

category12 Wed 25-Mar-20 12:18:12

Into every life a little rain must fall.

It's only for a few weeks. Shit happens.

Dzundza Wed 25-Mar-20 12:18:44

Lets see, if one of you gets it and infects tge other one then the other one will infect all their colleagues. Who will then spread it further. Do you see the problem now? You'd be risking the health of all your colleagues and their families. Are their lives worth it?

Northernsoullover Wed 25-Mar-20 12:19:25

I have been with my fiance for 5 years. If we were in lockdown together I think we would be single soon after! We are not going to see each other sad. He is still working in essential services so is at greater risk and could pass it to me and my asthmatic teens. My granny survived with my grandfather in a Japanese POW camp so we will just get on with it.
I'm horribly lonely too. Teens are crap company wink

ItsGoingTibiaK Wed 25-Mar-20 12:21:10

FFS, you don't need to see him. We're all separated from people we love, for the benefit of them, ourselves and the whole nation. Suck it up and do the right thing.

Minionmomma Wed 25-Mar-20 12:24:10

Hey @MozzchopsThirty I hear you. All these people repeating ‘OMG what is it you understand about lockdown.. get on with it...’ type stuff.

We get lockdown. We understand.

But seriously it’s gonna be so difficult for those non cohabitating couples. This could go on for months, like 6 months, maybe more. So before people tell those couples to suck it up, perhaps consider doing so in a more mindful and sensitive way.

Some couples have had to say goodbye.

One of my friends has been with their partner for years and she has no idea when she will see him again. She’s deeply upset. It’s truly awful.

Hugs to all of those people. Hugs to everyone xx

StealthNinjaMum Wed 25-Mar-20 12:24:41

I don’t see the big deal. I desperately miss my boyfriend. He lives on his own and has been working from home. But he still has to do food shopping - he went this morning. I live with my dc and have to do the odd bit of shopping too. Neither of us want to infect the other so we’ll just face time until this is over.

Minionmomma Wed 25-Mar-20 12:25:49

What makes people so certain this will last a matter of just weeks??

category12 Wed 25-Mar-20 12:27:11

I'm not sure when I'll be seeing my bloke next, so you're off beam, minionmomma. We have to suck it up.

Sosounhappy Wed 25-Mar-20 12:29:02

Whether it last weeks or not we have to do it. I live on my own. If I had known this was coming would have gone to stay with friends a few weeks ago. China have been locked down for longer than 3 weeks and have got through it

Minionmomma Wed 25-Mar-20 12:32:25

No I don’t believe I am off beam @category12

Here’s why:

Person — “I feel anxious and unsure about what’s happening”
Response — “just suck it it. Get on with it like the rest of us”

Or

Person — “I feel anxious and unsure about what’s happening”
Response — “I hear you. I’m really sorry you feel this way. We are all uncertain about the future. Sending you a virtual hug”

The difference? It’s called kindness.

Dzundza Wed 25-Mar-20 12:38:30

It's actually:

Person1: trying to find a loophole which could mean infecting other people and killing them because the lockdown is slightly inconvenient.

Person2: your decision could kill me and would make the lockdown last longer. Your decision is only about yourself but it does have an effect on the entire population, so please be sensible because it's serious.

category12 Wed 25-Mar-20 12:39:58

I don't think the responses have been unkind. Sometimes it's better to be fairly practical and not feed into anxiety.

Also, op did not state anxiety, but was asking a practical question.

Minionmomma Wed 25-Mar-20 12:40:34

@Dzundza how about you suck it up and get over it - some people are trying to come to terms with not seeing their partners

Minionmomma Wed 25-Mar-20 12:43:20

@category12 there are numerous threads about this very issue in this forum rn snd anxieties in general are high. I hate the phrase ‘suck it up’. It’s dismissive and just unnecessary.

Nobody knows when it’s going to be over. I certainly don’t envisage it’s just a matter of weeks. I think it will be a lot longer.

All I am saying is that people could be more sensitive in how they respond to others.

MozzchopsThirty Wed 25-Mar-20 12:49:08

Hey hang on a minute, from next week I have to go back to work in ITU (my old job)

So I think I have a good idea what lockdown means and what I'll be facing every day.

I already have to hand my children over to their father for the foreseeable future as he doesn't want them at risk and I agree with that. They are safer there.

So thanks for the support and kindness to those who'll be saving lives and would actually like to go home to the person they love.

category12 Wed 25-Mar-20 12:51:10

But you're not the thread police 🚨 and again, also I don't think it's always helpful or healthy to feed into the negative. It's tough on everybody. Some people benefit more from "chin up and carry on" and variations thereof, than they do from "aww, isn't it awful" and variations thereof. Op needs to take what she needs from the style that suits her.

Minionmomma Wed 25-Mar-20 12:56:47

@category12 you’re not the thread police either are you.

And ‘chin up and carry’ is worlds apart from ‘suck it up’.

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