Many will be facing the lockdown with an abuser and I thought a thread where people can post for support, reassurance and help might be useful.
I understand that the National Domestic Violence Helpline will be available. This is a 24/7 helpline run in conjunction with Women's Aid and Refuge: 0808 2000 247
If you are frightened or think things are going to get violent please dial 999.
Try to make a safety plan. You can find out how to do that here.
Here's how to cover your tracks online.
Domestic Violence/abuse tends to follow a pattern which is called the cycle of abuse. You can read up about that here.
Many recommend Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That? to help understand the motivation of abusers.
I don't know what is going on with local domestic abuse organisations. However, you can find your local organisation here. You can also do a Google search for resources. For example, 'Domestic Abuse Help organisations Lincoln' and see what comes up. Also check your council's website for resources.
If you are frightened during the 'tension building phase' ie know it's going to kick off or think something may happen then contact 101 and speak to the police about your concerns. Also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline.
Refuge places are scarce but you may be able to get a refuge bed.
If you are worried about pets, there are resources here. There may also be local resources available that your local domestic abuse organisations will be aware of.
If you're unsure if you're with an abuser, you can read up on the abuser profiles here. You can also read up on signs of an abusive relationship. There is also a quiz here to see if you are in an abusive relationship.
If you are being raped or sexually abused. Please take a look at Rape Crisis.
The Freedom Programme is better done in the group but you can do the online version here.
Useful websites:
For legal concerns, Rights of Women have lots of Family Law and Domestic Abuse information on their website.
For information regarding children such as child maintenance, benefits, contact etc, check out the Gingerbread website.
The Citizen's Advice also has a very comprehensive website for anything else. They also have up to date info on coronavirus and work/benefits etc so please check it out if you have concerns.
Please don't tell an abuser you want to leave or are thinking of leaving because you are most at risk when leaving and in the first year after leaving.
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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
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Relationships
For those on lockdown with an abuser
736 replies
12345kbm · 24/03/2020 14:15
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