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••••• Insecure•••••

(8 Posts)
warmsummersday Mon 10-Sep-07 12:47:42

Hi, I just need to write how I feel but if anyone has advice that would be good!

Been with OH for 9 years,met when I was very young, now have 2 children.
We have had lots of problems (but who hasn't), I have PND and have caused alot of the problems.
OH works away in the week and I feel very insecure. I trust him completely and he has never done anything in the past. I worry about strip clubs, him watching porn etc. The strange thing is is I occasionally watch porn on my own which is fine and he doesn't mind but the thought of him doing it, why do I feel like this.
I hear people saying you can make yourself think these things because thats what you want to do yourself, is this true?
Thanks for reading!

fransmom Mon 10-Sep-07 12:51:21

oh sweetheart x ((((((((((((((((((Wsd)))))))))))))

i find it very hard to believe that people have been able to tell you that knowing you are ill (i have pnd too and it is an illness, even if you look well on the outside, you can feel really rough on the inside).

i haev to go back to work now, so haven't got a lot of time left but please cat me if you can x

NDPHasAKittenOnTheKeyboard Mon 10-Sep-07 12:51:28

How did you get the bold dots in your title ?

Your thoughts are entirely normal, btw.

jellybelly25 Mon 10-Sep-07 13:46:32

PND is horrible, you get one little niggly thought in your head and it goes totally haywire and consumes you and he's not there to reassure you so there's not a lot that can make you feel better.

Strip clubs bother me too, but porn doesn't. I guess it's him doing it on his own and not with you that might be gettingto you? You must miss him a lot when he is away... Does he know how you feel?

warmsummersday Mon 10-Sep-07 13:56:41

Our problems started well before my PND so I try not to used that as an excuse.

He does know how I feel but men find it very hard to understand.

Will chat more later as got a 1 yr old running around!

warmsummersday Mon 10-Sep-07 19:43:30

I think it's because there is so much sexual content, affairs etc on tv, in magazines and newpapers that people are starting to except it and I don't think it's right they way women are portrayed.

I don't know why I have been feeling like this.

jellybelly25 Mon 10-Sep-07 23:49:32

Agree entirely. I like to think I am liberal minded but I am getting fed up with this stuff being everywhere and people are expected to make light of it. It bothers me more when I am down though and thinking I am ugly and can't compete etc... I know you don't want to make a fuss about the PND, it doesn't create the issue but it does make you feel worse than you might otherwise.

Have a good pampering session after dc is in bed, make yourself feel good.

Am yawning so nite nite...

JustBreathexoxo Tue 11-Sep-07 03:31:39

Im sorry I cant comment on PND have never experienced it or known anyone suffering through it I only know the medical definitions and feel for you throughly by that alone, But I do know insecurity its an ugly feeling one that degrades your own self worth.

I stopped focusing on dp and looked inward there were things within me that I just wasnt happy about, like hello im fat,moody, tired and unmotivated.If your taking time to indulge in a bit of porn now an then your drive isnt gone neither was mine just my self worth then i figured there was 2 things i could do.

Be lazy and continue to put focus on dp verbally making sure he was giving me all the reassurance i needed which is what i was doing.

Or get off my butt and do something to make me feel good.which is what i did in the end shoud have been my first approach but oh well we learn.

Insecurity stems from a genuine lack of self worth and sometimes ladies it genuinly stems from a natural self protection instinct within us all.Figure out which one of those it is then work on it.

Make time for you, remember your worth in the world as a provider,protector,educator valued friend and loved family member.

Kia Kaha(meaning be strong)

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