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Police and abusive husband.

(34 Posts)
Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 22:40:37

I’m a bit scared. I’m separated from my abusive husband and living with a family member with my daughter who is 3. He is going to be isolated in our house round the corner all by himself. I stopped contact with dd in December because he is such an abusive man. I’m suffering with PTSD and I’m terrified he is going to come for me to get his daughter. I’ve called the police 3 times already. He went away for a week but he will be back at the weekend. Will the police still be available? Am I going to have to accept contact? I can’t be near that man. I’m already panicking and I’m so weak emotionally.

HappyHammy Fri 20-Mar-20 22:44:51

How awful. Can you contact womens aid for advice. Is there someone else you can stay with. Yes the police are always there. Is there a restraining order out against him. Stay strong. We are here to help. flowers

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 22:49:28

I have the non-mol ready but then I had a bit of a relapse with my anxiety and have been too much in a state to do anything. As long as the police will still come. I know he is going to come here, he will sit in that house alone stewing in it.

HappyHammy Fri 20-Mar-20 22:54:28

Dont let him in. Have you got good support from your family and the person you are staying with.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 22:55:38

If he approaches the house dial 999. Explain you have a Non Mol and there's a history of domestic abuse. Keep the doors and windows locked and don't communicate with him at all. Keep a log of events. He'll be arrested if he breaches the Non Mol.

Do not accept contact. Refuse communication with him.

Have you been given advice on safety?

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 22:56:16

No the person I’m with is not in great health. Very small mainly female family, but they all isolating for various health conditions. I wish I could hire a big man for a while!

pallasathena Fri 20-Mar-20 22:57:11

You need to act strong. Men like him are basically dickheads and the sooner you realise it, the stronger you become.
Act tough, uncompromising. Confident. Look him in the eye and demolish him.
You've got this.
flowers

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 22:57:14

I never filed the non-mol, I couldn’t get my head round it. I wish I did now.

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 22:58:39

He is mentally unstable as well as abusive. He is not the right man to look in the eyes. He will probably smash the door in.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 22:59:57

Can you file it now?

You need safety advice OP. People don't realise that leaving is only half of it. You are most at risk after leaving and in the first year of leaving. You need a Non Molestation Order.

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:00:29

Before he went to work, drank and smoked a lot of weed, now he is going to sit and stew with no relief from his mind.

HappyHammy Fri 20-Mar-20 23:00:52

Is there anywhere else you could stay.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 23:01:31

If you think he's going to smash the door in you need to phone the police. Dial 101 and speak to them. You could also try getting into a refuge. Refuges are oversubscribed but it would keep you safe until a Non Mol was in place. If you can't get into a refuge, is there anywhere you can go?

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:02:15

No. I have an uncle with COPD, he won’t want us there and a nan who is 90.

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:04:06

I don’t know if my mind is over exaggerating from the PTSD or it’s really as bad as I think.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 23:04:17

Contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 Contact them tonight. Keep trying if you can't get through. They may be able to find you a refuge. You also need to contact the police for advice.

ChibiTotoro Fri 20-Mar-20 23:05:14

Yes the police will still be available. There are lots of plans in place to try and ensure business as usual, with officers set to be redeployed to the front line.

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:05:22

I can’t leave my mum who I’m staying with, she has M.S and can’t cope without me, especially now.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 23:06:10

What's she going to do if he kicks in the door and attacks you both OP?

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:07:29

Nothing but if I leave her who is going to care for her. She can’t go out shopping etc

HappyHammy Fri 20-Mar-20 23:08:01

If you and mum are at risk of harm from him you need to get in touch with the police. A refuge or hotel for you all might be safer.

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:08:40

I have a marker on this house with the police.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 23:10:31

OP try to listen to the advice being given to you.

You need to a. contact the police on 101 and speak to them. You need to b. contact the NDAH - number above, for advice.

Fightingback16 Fri 20-Mar-20 23:11:52

Ok I will ring 101 and tell them what I’m saying on here.

12345kbm Fri 20-Mar-20 23:12:07

Also get advice on the Non Mol and see if you can still file it.

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