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Little signs of selfishness

(26 Posts)
missdonna Sun 09-Sep-07 21:47:32

I have not been with my man long so I'm worried that little signs of selfishness are warnings of his overall personality.

The main thing I have noticed recently is the TV. Personally, I don't watch it. When he comes down to our house he often flicks through the sky guide and says "ooo so and so is on, I have to watch that" and we end up watching it. I don't mind that much because as I said, I don't watch tv.

But a few weeks ago I noticed wifeswap was on and I do love that program so I told him I'd be watching it. Anyway he went in a huge strop over it, kept going on about how crap and boring it was etc. I reminded him that its not often I insist on watching something on TV and he sulked. 5 minutes into it he started saying "Oh I cant stand an hour of this crap" and kept looking at me as if expecting me to turn it over. Then 10 minutes on it was "oh god this is so boring, how can you watch this shit?" etc etc...he moaned all the way through it but I kept it on anyway, half of me kept it on out of spite and the other half kept it on because I didn't want him thinking he could control me like that.

Anyway I just thought this was so selfish of him angry and now I've noticed that whenever my kids are watching kids programs he starts huffing and puffing going on about how boring and crap they are. If my DC put one foot out of line he tells them "right thats it, I'm turning the tv over now for that" and he uses it as an excuse.

Last weekend my DS was watching Lord of the Rings and DP was whinging like mad saying it was rubbish. He said "Oh I cant stand this!" so I said "I know you cant" so he said "so why are we watching it then?" shock as if he alone should be considered. I told him DS was watching it and he went in a mood again saying it was boring. When DS went to get his pyjamas on during the break DP turned it over angry.

I know its only telly but is this selfish attitude likely to spill out onto other things?

professorplum Sun 09-Sep-07 21:53:29

I wouldn't be so worried about the selfishness as much as he doesn't want to be in the same room with you unless he can escape into tv. Do you do much together with the tv off? I wouldn't want him criticising my taste or that of my dcs in tv progs or anything else.Its a personal thing and you shouldn't have to justify why you like a programme that he doesn't

JodieG1 Sun 09-Sep-07 21:55:21

He sounds a bit immature to me.

lemonstartree Sun 09-Sep-07 21:55:48

^but is this selfish attitude likely to spill out onto other things?^

sorry - but yes. defintely. you are hearing warning bells, GET RID QUICK

missdonna Sun 09-Sep-07 21:59:00

I hate the TV generally so I try to keep it off as much as possible. There is the odd thing I will watch, documentries, reality stuff etc but in general I dont watch it. He's only here on a weekend so I suggest we go for a game of badminton or something since we both want to lose weight but he moans and groans about it. He prefers walking around electrics shops like currys or "game" etc. I find that boring.

I suppose its the fact that he doesnt even live here that winds me up about the way he expects to be able to control the TV.

moondog Sun 09-Sep-07 22:02:47

You haven't posted about this chapo before have you?

Tell him to fck off. He's evidently a horrid selfish twat.

madamez Sun 09-Sep-07 22:07:41

What are his good points, exactly? You know, it's not only okay to be single, it's far, far better to be single than stuck with a cocklodger (definition: bloke who hooks up with a single mum so he can get all his washing/cooking done and sit on the sofa all day watching DVDs in return for the odd three-minute scuttling from behind).

He's a visitor in your house and your DCs home, so their tastes do actually take priority over his. If he can't cope with that, dump him.

moondog Sun 09-Sep-07 22:09:40

Guffaw at 'three minute scuttling from behind' from a cocklodger.

Excellent. grin

macdoodle Sun 09-Sep-07 22:43:42

PMSL at cocklodger not going there no way never..the way you describe the TV thing is my H to a TTTTT...and he is a selfish self centred immature shit in everything - get rid qucik grin

BecauseImWorthIt Sun 09-Sep-07 22:46:46

But it's not about the TV is it? This is actually about him moaning and whinging that he can't do what he want when he wants to.

If he's going to do this with your children as well as you then this is a serious early warning sign.

warthog Sun 09-Sep-07 22:49:21

doesn't bode well...

Anniegetyourgun Mon 10-Sep-07 03:01:39

I'd bite his head off if he started treating my children like that. It is not his telly, it is not his house, and it is emphatically not his family. How dare he. Does he think his wishes are more important than theirs, what, because he's bigger or something? Is he so, so fabulous in bed that he can be forgiven anything, even bullying young children?

What he needs is Happydaddy's patented treatment, frankly.

mamama Mon 10-Sep-07 03:09:24

Oh dear. He sounds rather immature to me. If he wants to watch his own thing on telly, can't he go to his house and watch it there rather than complaining?

And why is the television more important than you and your DS?

I think he needs to consider his priorities.

Ulysees Mon 10-Sep-07 05:11:46

Never heard of cocklodger beforegrin

Not finding this thread funny missdonna just that phrase. I know you may not want to be alone but I wouldn't entertain him if I were you.
Are you in love with him? If so why? What does he give you that makes him a better bet than being single?

SittingBull Mon 10-Sep-07 05:46:30

Message withdrawn

earlgrey Mon 10-Sep-07 06:07:20

What lemonstartree said.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 10-Sep-07 07:32:45


In answer to your last question yes and he will get worse.

Would suggest the cocklodger is given his marching orders; he is showing no respect towards either you or your son.

Better to be alone than to be badly accompanied.

FlightAttendant Mon 10-Sep-07 07:52:39

You're right, warning signs indicate he will be more and more controlling about everything in your life.
Please get shot of him now before you and dc's get into a fix.
Sounds like a tw*t. He needs to grow up.

FlightAttendant Mon 10-Sep-07 07:53:44

Annie, intrigued, what's Hd's patented?

Sobernow Mon 10-Sep-07 07:58:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShinyHappySchmooo Mon 10-Sep-07 08:08:30

Selfish git.

Consider ditching.

stillsleeping Mon 10-Sep-07 08:12:28

his attitude sounds all wrong. It's your house for crying out loud!

you've gotta put your kids first. is he really the man to make you all happy?

he sounds very immature, not a great father figure at all.

EscapeFrom Mon 10-Sep-07 08:24:40

What a knobwad

ally90 Mon 10-Sep-07 10:39:00

Good relationship = Respect love trust

I think you can cross the first one out...
Do you trust him with you and your son's emotions ie no consideration for other people liking things he doesn't
love him? with an attitude like that?! and to your son...what kind of role model is he, do you want your son to pick up his moaning whinging behaviour?

Still having said all that...I do feel for you...I did not like to be single, would put up with almost anything to be in a relationship. But sometimes it is good to be single when you can choose your own tv channel without an argument first

bubblagirl Mon 10-Sep-07 10:54:15

i would say when he comes round no tv its broken if he cant last 5 mins without being glued to the box maybe he's not worth being around

he should be happy to be around you and children and to do things together not prevent them from having time watching tv

does he live with his mum? he sounds like he has no rel interests at all if you haven't been together long maybe your not suited you aoppear to have completly different interests dont do anything fun together and when you are he cant survive without tv is that how it should be at the start of a relationship i think not you should be wanting quality fun time if you have doubts then take them seriously as you do have children involved and its not fair on them good luck

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