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I think H has or is about to put tracker on my car

(327 Posts)
PressToChange Thu 20-Feb-20 21:12:03

I went in to Hs bedroom to put son's new Fitbit type watch on charge. Out of the cables I didn't know which but saw one had a label which said Trackisafe and a code.
I googled it. It's a mini tracking device. It needs two apps, the Trackisafe one and a V for Vodafone app.
We have Apple so I can see he has purchased both apps. I managed to get hold of his phone very briefly and he has downloaded and set up both apps. I couldn't get on there long enough to see maps.
I also found the box, opened it and the tracker isn't in the box.
I went out to the car while he was out saying I needed to get all the rubbish out if there. Lots of dc so easy to be true. I couldn't find anything.
It's half term and we are both at home.
From the date of app purchase a coupe of weeks ago, I'm guessing he either removed it before half term or will put it in after school starts again.
I cannot confront him as I don't have firm evidence. Plus I don't want him to know I can get on his phone.
Background is before Christmas in 2018 he hit me, I called police. He has a caution for assault. I now know I have been living in a controlling coercive marriage. (Not trying to down play. It's utterly shit. Just being factual to keep post as short as possible)
In Sept when I told him I was serious about divorce he cut me out of his bank account. Apparently we haven't needed a joint account I could just access his but no more.
At Christmas I told him I would endure it with him and then start divorce proceedings.
The Friday before I know he purchased the apps and most likely took delivery of the tracker I told him we have to draw this to a close. No one is happy etc. It is going to end up in divorce.
He is in COMPLETE denial.
I think he is a narcissist in the true clinical definition, I'm not just calling names.
I have a solicitor appointment booked for next week.
What do I do? What should I do? What is likely to happen to him because if I do find a tracker I won't touch it but will drive to the nearest police station. What if I never find a tracker I just strongly suspect it?
Please be kind. I know this is not right and needs to be over but because of the way he is have been doing baby steps trying to do things gently and safely rather than full on. I do not live in fear day to day but am concerned he could be volatile. He had had mental health issues too.

MondeoFan Thu 20-Feb-20 21:15:54

I would have been gone Christmas 2018, not easy I know.
I'd have to confront him about the tracker I know you're probably scared to

JKScot4 Thu 20-Feb-20 21:17:47

They are very small and could be anywhere in your car.

Whynosnowyet Thu 20-Feb-20 21:18:07

Take your car to a reputable garage. Tell them they need to remove a tracker. Promise a great online review if they do.
Start getting your ducks in a row op.

TenShortStories Thu 20-Feb-20 21:19:10

See if the website for the tracker has recommended places to place it in/on the car?

AnchorDownDeepBreath Thu 20-Feb-20 21:21:00

You have to proceed as if he’s tracking your car. They’re very small and designed to be hidden somewhere like under the wheel arches; near the engine or in the spare wheel.

You should probably also presume that he’s keylogged your computer, because if he’s gone to the extremes of tracking your whereabouts, he may well have installed one.

I think you need to plan your quick, safe exit.

abitlostandalwayshungry Thu 20-Feb-20 21:21:29

do not confront him or ask him. leaving an abusive / controlling partner is the most dangerous time for victims of DV.

good idea of getting the garage to find the tracker. see a solicitor as soon as you possibly can.

HavenDilemma Thu 20-Feb-20 21:24:09

They're usually placed under the sill below the doors. Do as a PP said and take to a garage. They'll find it

Moo7878 Thu 20-Feb-20 21:24:54

I wouldn't go to a garage - if he's tracking you, he'll know you've done this? Can you get a mobile mechanic to meet you somewhere else, for example a place of work?

12345kbm Thu 20-Feb-20 21:25:14

Tracking someone's car without their consent is illegal. I bet he's tracking you on your phone as well. Get your crime reference number from the assault and contact the police officer in charge of the case. You will have been given a contact name. Tell them what's going on regarding the tracking device.

Has anyone from the Domestic Abuse Unit been in contact? Have you contacted your local domestic abuse organisation?

You need to be careful OP as he sounds unhinged. You need a safety plan and to get this divorce rolling asap.

ravenmum Thu 20-Feb-20 21:25:16

I was going to say look round the spare wheel, too.
They only have short battery life, so he'll have to keep recharging it and replacing it every couple of days.
If you go to the police, could he claim that you bought the thing and put it in the car yourself?

HavenDilemma Thu 20-Feb-20 21:25:23

*Below one of the doors.

StillWeRise Thu 20-Feb-20 21:25:27

and contact your local domestic abuse service
and/or the police

ivykaty44 Thu 20-Feb-20 21:25:31

If op takes the car to a garage, then he’ll know she’s sussed it and the garage still might not find it

I’d start by parking up a long way from the solicitor office next week...seriously

He’s got a tracker as he’s suspects you of doing something, so he wants to track you

Where do they normally suggest putting these trackers?

In the spare wheel in the boot? Anyone purchased one of these or got a manual?

Mistybee Thu 20-Feb-20 21:26:54

It’s probably worth speaking to the police and asking their advice and asking for it to be logged

ThreeFish Thu 20-Feb-20 21:28:21

Since you found the box, you can google what the actual tracker looks like. That’s a start. It’s small, 4 cm.
Take the car to a garage or take yourself out for a day to find it and remove it.
Or, use this information to your advantage and don’t let him know that you know it’s there. The battery will need charged again after 2 days ish, so just keep an eye on him, and you’ll see where he has put it. It can’t be too hard to find as he needs to be able to grab it quick when it needs charging, and once you know where it is, you can remove the sim when you don’t want tracked, and leave it alone when it makes no odds to you.

ivykaty44 Thu 20-Feb-20 21:28:43

Don’t phone the police and don’t driver to the police station

Visit in person when you’re shopping nearby

PressToChange Thu 20-Feb-20 21:28:48

Yes, I agree in hindsight after being hit the relationship should have ended. I think when you're in a controlling relationship it's very difficult to see things for what they are. I went into the protect the family mode. If I had my time again it would be very different.
I've been all over the Internet which says where these things should go. We're talking 3cm here. Wheel arches and under the body. I've gone around twice and nothing which makes me think he's removed it for half term.
I didn't know garages were trained to remove trackers so I will do that after "normal" work patterns start again.
It's so ridiculous as I have no secrets but clearly his behaviour in his mind has nothing to do with me wanting him gone. I must obviously be seeing someone else
@abitlostandalwayshungry yes that's why I can't say anything.
I only use my phone and not on the house Wi-fi. 4g only so there is nothing to see on my pc. After being hit in 2018 I changed all my passwords but realise that may not be enough.

PerfectPineapple Thu 20-Feb-20 21:29:44

I wouldn’t confront him at all. I’d also contact women’s aid for advice

ThreeFish Thu 20-Feb-20 21:30:18

And get a solicitor and tell her you are being tracked with photos of it and the apps on his phone

Wigeon Thu 20-Feb-20 21:31:13

That sounds horrendous, sorry to hear what you’re going through. Do you know about the National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247. They also have an instant messaging and email service: www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

PerfectPineapple Thu 20-Feb-20 21:31:27

Good idea! Lots of photos

breatheinskipthegym Thu 20-Feb-20 21:32:09

If he doesn’t have access to the inside of your car, then a flat, metal bit is where it’d likely be.

You mention you have an iPhone. There are also ‘services’ such as Webwatcher that, using your Apple ID and password, download your backups so you can see texts, call history, web history etc. Change your iCloud password and turn on 2 factor authentication to thwart it.

SummerWhisper Thu 20-Feb-20 21:32:37

Does he have access to your phone / browsing history? Be careful about this post. Never go to your destination, find the nearest supermarket and park there. Be brave and very best of luck to you flowers

HavenDilemma Thu 20-Feb-20 21:33:41

Wherever it is, it will need to be somewhere he can access quickly & easily, in order to charge regularly, without being spotted by you

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