I don't know what to do. Last summer I ended up having a mental breakdown, I was on a psychiatric ward for a month. Part of my recovery plan was to get a job so I could start to feel a bit of self respect and get 'me' back again after being a sahm for 9 years. I started a new job that is two days a week and I absolutely LOVE IT. It's hard work but it's something for me... being in the work environment, having conversations with adults about normal things, work banter, a lunch break!! No nappies or cleaning or wiping snot. I've started to wear make up more and dress well and lose weight, I feel so good. I'm me again. And I'm enjoying my days at home so much more.. I'm more patient with the kids, I look forward to our meals together after school, we chat and I listen. I love it.
The problem I have is that my DH works the remaining 3 days a week because he has (well, had) health issues and he wants 2 days a week off... which he doesn't get because now he's childcare for those 2 days. The older 2 are at school so it's just the baby, but he won't have her in a nursery or childcare because of the cost and he says she's too young (9m). But he resents me so much for going back to work. Says I'm putting myself before him and before the family. I just do not know what to do. Well, I guess I do... I know I need to give up work. Like he said, before we had kids we agreed I would stay at home but I've changed the goal posts and he now doesn't get any days off.
I don't know, I'm just so sad. Devastated actually. I know how selfish I am, why can't I happily put my family first? Why am I being so selfish?
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Relationships
Not allowed to work
Fizzypop2 · 15/02/2020 00:06
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