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Long term relationships, do you exchange valentines cards?

(87 Posts)
Scrunchy95 Fri 14-Feb-20 12:31:59

My Husband and I met on valentines day 18 years ago and I guess as it happens to be the day we met we treat it as special. We exchange cards and he even sends me a dozen red roses every year. We never discuss it and neither of us ever forget. It's very sweet, but don't think we'd do this if it hadn't been the day we met.

I was chatting with my brother who has been married 20 years today and when I asked if they had exchanged cards he laughed. Do you acknowledge valentines or do you think it's just a bit of a gimmick?

notangelinajolie Fri 14-Feb-20 12:38:01

We got officially engaged on Valentines Day 30 years ago. But, no we don't mark it in any way and definitely don't do cards or meals out.
He does buy me flowers from time to time but not necessarily for Valentines.

otterhound Fri 14-Feb-20 12:38:53


ComtesseDeSpair Fri 14-Feb-20 12:39:12

We acknowledge it in our own way and exchange cards. I know it’s supposedly a commercial celebration and we’re all supposed to treat every day like it’s Valentine’s Day and make our partners feel special whatever the date but quite honestly in the frenzy of everyday life I’m sure most of us forget to do that and it’s quite nice to have a day where you can remember to say, “hey dude, I actually quite like you and I’m glad you’re here.”

But any wazzock can wander into a supermarket on February 13th and grab a card with a heart on it and some red roses, it doesn’t mean they care for you or think you’re special, quite the opposite in fact. So I can totally see why so many people think it’s a total gimmick of a day.

AliasGrape Fri 14-Feb-20 12:44:45

We’ve done cards this year and I even put a chocolate heart in his lunch (didn’t make his lunch though, I’m not that nice - just stuck the chocolate in there for him to find).

We do tend to acknowledge it but in a pretty low key way, a card or a chocolate bar type thing. Don’t think I’d be too heartbroken if he forgot, he’s a good husband and does sweet things throughout the year so it’s not the end of the world, but nice to do a little something on the day too.

dementedpixie Fri 14-Feb-20 12:45:37

Yes we exchanged cards (but not vomit inducing ones) and a small gift. I got the pjs I hinted massively about!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation Fri 14-Feb-20 12:47:48

No, complete waste of money.

FiremanSlam Fri 14-Feb-20 12:49:09

We stopped bothering with Valentine's Day about 3 years into our 15 year relationship. It's just a day like any other in my mind. When I was younger (teens and early twenties) Valentine's was almost like a status proved that you were desirable to someone and made you feel special in some way because someone had given you a card and some chocolates. But all my relationships back then were crap so it was false reassurance that somebody cared for me. Once I met my dh I felt so secure in our love for each other that Valentine's became a kind of irrelevant event in our relationship.

I don't care what other people do on Valentine's at all. It's just not for me.

Mrsmummy90 Fri 14-Feb-20 12:54:18

We used to go the whole hog but now we've been married for years, it's a case of exchange cards, order in and a quickie 😂 (if we have the energy lol)

PineappleDanish Fri 14-Feb-20 12:57:16

Nope. Never have. We've been together for 25 years, married for 20. No cards, presents or anything else in this house!

Heymacarana Fri 14-Feb-20 12:58:23

I stopped doing Valentine’s Day when I was about 14. Nothing to do with how long a relationship has existed, just purely because I see it as commercial bullocks for people too lazy and inconsiderate to make a bit of spontaneous effort on other days of the year.

A card and a box of chocolates from the petrol station because you remembered because they were by the till really doesn’t have the same effect as a random card or note or show of affection on another day of the year.

Herringbone31 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:00:08

My husband went mad this year. Bless him. We’ve been together 15 years. However. We only got married 10 months ago. That’s why

I got him a card. I feel like a mean wife

He even got me a watch I’ve been wanting but didn’t want to buy it because of the price. He’s a plonker.

PhilomenaChristmasPie Fri 14-Feb-20 13:00:35

Yes, we buy each other cards and presents. DH is at funeral in a different city today so it'll feel a bit lonely later. sad

Motacilla Fri 14-Feb-20 13:00:43

Yeah, been together 25 years - just hand made cards with a personal message in though.

Heymacarana Fri 14-Feb-20 13:02:59

* DH is at funeral in a different city today so it'll feel a bit lonely later. sad*

This is wrong on so many levels!

Wolfff Fri 14-Feb-20 13:03:25

Yes married 23 years, together 25 and still exchange cards, with various combinations of chocolates, flowers and booze. I do agree it is gimmicky though, but a bit like Mother’s Day and Christmas, it’s difficult to stop....

Laniakea Fri 14-Feb-20 13:03:29

god no, never have (married for 20 years). I don't really do sentimental & we don't do anniversaries either, though for birthdays we go all out.

Barbararara Fri 14-Feb-20 13:06:33

Yes. Tbh I wouldn’t be bothered but dh is firmly of the opinion that if other people’s wives and girlfriends are getting flowers then why would his wife be left out. He always sends me a bouquet of the flowers I carried in my wedding bouquet, rather than roses because he wants me to know that he’s thinking of me not just sending something generic. And even though I’m a cynical old crone I love it.

Ohffs66 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:06:44

sort of. sometimes one of us will buy the other a card, sometimes we both do, sometimes neither of us. No rhyme or reason for it. This year I got DH two cards and as far as I can tell he hasn't got me one. I'm not remotely bothered tho and he knows that. we do always try and have a nice dinner at home though (thank you M&S dine in for two!)

happymummy12345 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:09:13

We are married and still get each other a card and a small present. And dh cooks us a meal the as close to the day as he can (if he's working on the day). He is working this morning but not tonight so we will have the meal tonight

maras2 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:23:35

Today we've exchanged our 52nd Valentine's cards.
We don't give gifts < no particular reason >
Still feeling the love. smile

EngagedAgain Fri 14-Feb-20 13:25:21

I and my OH do, but I only do it for his benefit really. Overall I've got fed up with doing cards for anything. It's the constant having to get a card for someone. If I don't give people cards it doesn't mean I think any less of them. I've started gradually cutting them down.

Robin2323 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:27:32

Not this year - we're going out for food 😊

Trahira Fri 14-Feb-20 13:28:51

DH and I have been together for nearly 23 years. I don't expect flowers / presents / dinner, but we do exchange cards. It's just a nice little gesture IMO.

Drum2018 Fri 14-Feb-20 13:34:42

Yes, we always exchange cards and buy something for each other that may cost around €15. This year I was in eurogiant and saw a lady and her mum laughing at these massive cards for €3. She said she was going to come back and get one as she had other stuff to do. Dd was with me and we had a laugh at them and I decided to buy one. Unfortunately they didn't have a bag big enough for it so I had to carry it around with me while dd and I finished shopping. She was mortified grin I wrote in tiny writing on it - it was on the windowsill when I got up this morning after he'd left for work. I'm sure the neighbours are cringing for us grin

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