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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Why has my ex unblocked me on WhatsApp?

52 replies

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 11:17

A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend.
I still have feelings for him but he wasn't treating me the best.
We had a big argument and he said he was done.
He waited 2 weeks then deleted me off social media and blocked me on WhatsApp (I hadn't been texting him he just randomly did it)
Now this morning I had a look (I admit I keep checking ) and he has unblocked me.
Why ? He only blocked me 13 days ago.
If he was totally done would he unblock me?

OP posts:

Report

TwentyViginti · 13/02/2020 11:23

He's waiting for you to get in touch and grovel to him to take you back? He wasn't treating you well - so just block him and move on.

RamonaLark · 13/02/2020 11:24

What he is or isn’t feeling is irrelevant. Only how you deserve to be treated and how you feel matters.

Bartlet · 13/02/2020 11:28

Because he’s toying with you? Because he wants to see if you’ll contact him for an ego boost?

If he was seriously wanting to get in touch he would. It’s rather cruel what he’s doing. Please try to avoid the temptation to contact him.

toast1123 · 13/02/2020 11:30

Because he wants to see if you’ll contact him for an ego boost? yep.

SoupDragon · 13/02/2020 11:33

Block him instead.

PixieRabbit · 13/02/2020 11:34

Who cares what he’s thinking?

BLOCK HIM and work on your self esteem. You know you deserve better.

Peignoir · 13/02/2020 11:35

Block him and move on. These social media games are so pretty.

Babyg1995 · 13/02/2020 11:35

He's playing with you block him .

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 11:36

When it first ended I wanted answers about why he was behaving so awful.
So I text him and sent him a few voice notes as we was ignoring me.
Then he went on to say it was my fault and I had caused this then we argued again and it totally ended.

OP posts:

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 13/02/2020 11:37

I read an article somewhere once about the psychology about blocking and unblocking on social media.
It seems that it's not necessarily true that the blocker unblocks and wants the person to contact them, but often it means that the blocker has moved on, is no longer angry, no longer holds any feelings for the person they've blocked. So they 'unblock'.
I know it sounds confusing, but it made sense when I read it.

Try and 'let go' and stop checking. (Easier said than done, I know)

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 11:37

*he

OP posts:

Crystal87 · 13/02/2020 11:37

He wants to see if you'll realise you've been unlocked and immediately message him. He's playing games.

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 11:38

I had been checking to see if he would unblock as I had a feeling that's what he would do.

OP posts:

AlwaysOnAbloodyDiet · 13/02/2020 11:38

If you block him now, he'll know that you know he unblocked you, meaning that you've been checking.

I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.

Just ignore it.

andifyouever · 13/02/2020 11:42

Yeah I would never message him now.
I think he owes me an apology but I doubt I will get it.
He's very stubborn and is never wrong (in his eyes )

OP posts:

Valkadin · 13/02/2020 11:43

Because he can and it’s making you wonder and think about him. Please block him because as you write he was not treating you the best. If you take him back I guarantee he will still treat you badly and becuse you have taken him back he will be safe in the knowledge that you are compliant. Though him treating you badly will take a while. Then you will be thinking but he can be so lovely and you will doubt yourself.

It’s how women get in to abusive relationships. They test you, a woman with healthy boundaries and robust self esteem would not consider him. I’m telling you this because I was in a very abusive relationship when I was young but I had come from an incredibly abusive background, social services were involved in my family and my sister was removed.

I’m not asking you to splurge your childhood and younger life on here as you may not be comfortable doing so. But ask yourself why you would even consider for a second a man who treats you badly. Believe me when I say all of my sisters have been in abusive relationships and it all stems from our childhood.

Lollygaggles · 13/02/2020 11:43

Please delete him then you won't keep torturing yourself. A person who plays games with your feelings isn't worthy of your emotional energy.

WinterCat · 13/02/2020 11:46

Don’t block him. Just delete his messages and his contact details so he’s not on your phone anymore and don’t give him the satisfaction of being blocked.

I’m someone who has blocked people in the past (never an ex, but sometimes gossipy work colleagues) on social media and when I unblock it’s because I no longer give them headspace and have moved on so I agree that is likely to be a reason.

Valkadin · 13/02/2020 11:49

You will never get a truthful answer as to why he treats you badly. The real answer is he is not a good or nice or kind person. He will not say I enjoy being cruel and feeling like I have power over another person will he and that is sadly the most likely truthful answer. I had a man who toyed with me emotionally. I also had a man who used to beat me. I can say the one who emotionally destroyed with words and actions has had a worse effect on me.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/02/2020 11:49

Could have had a new phone. You have to block again on WhatsApp.

BecauseReasons · 13/02/2020 11:51

Block him and delete, OP. It doesn't matter if he's suddenly decided to tattoo your face onto his ballsack- you're not together. He's not a good partner. Block, delete and on you move.

YasssKween · 13/02/2020 11:54

It doesn't matter why.

Block him and draw a line under it.

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Cheeseandwin5 · 13/02/2020 12:08

I am not sure why posters seem to be being so negative to the OP Ex. I assume that is just the MNs way.
In my view, in a fit of anger , unhappiness and frustration about the end of your relationship he deleted your details. Now he may want to leave the channels open with you, with the possibility of a reconciliation.
It is really up to you what you do with this. If you do not want anything to do with him , than delete his contact, if you feel you may want to resume the relationship if changes are made than keep it and whenever you are sure you can either send him a hello and see how things are or block him.

BecauseReasons · 13/02/2020 12:15

I am not sure why posters seem to be being so negative to the OP Ex.

Because, in my experience, of a relationship failed once, it'll fail again. Particularly if, as in the OP's case, one treated the other so badly that an apology or explanation is warranted. People waste years on this on-again-off-again nonsense. I advise OP not to bother.

PersephoneandHades · 13/02/2020 12:21

I blocked my ex then unblocked him, it meant nothing, I just didn't want to have anyone blocked as it felt like I was still involved in a way/ holding a grudge.

Once I knew he wasn't going to contact me again there was no need for the block.

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