Dating site recommendations?

[Daet]

I’m sort of dipping a toe in at my advanced age! I’m 55 and the only site I’ve tried so far is Match. It’s probably a reflection of my age but I’ve found it dire - so depressing! Does anyone have any suggestions or am I destined to die lonely?! Thank you,

[Feelingfree]

I’m in the same boat, also 55. I tried eharmony but there wasn’t many men in my area. Was matched with men miles away so cancelled that. Also tried Match but again no luck. People who like me are either too young or too old but I just don’t fancy anyone! So I’ve come off online dating for now, don’t think my heart is in it (plus I’m quite enjoying the single life) 😀

[Fairycake2]

I'm 41 and haven't found Match very good either. Tinder has been better which really surprised me (although you do have to sift out the weirdos!) There are some sites for the over 50s which may be worth a try but I dont know if they're any good.

[Daet]

Thanks for the replies both. FeelingFree that’s been my experience with Match exactly. Too old or way too young. It’s depressing!

Fairy I’m scared to try those sites - I’ll probably be lucky to attract 70yr olds. It’s a minefield.

Good luck both.

[EvenMoreFuriousVexation]

Have you thought about trying a niche site like Classic fm dating, Times Dating, Guardian Soul mates?

[Daet]

Hi Furious - no I hadn’t thought of those. Thank you, I’ll go and explore!

[Dieu]

Hi OP. Friend of mine is 57, and has just found a handsome, lovely and successful man on Match.
So much of it is down to timing I think, and it's a numbers game too.
Good luck!

[HelenaNightSoilCart]

I’m 53 and have used Tinder and Plenty of Fish in the last six months. Lots of interest, some nice dates from both sites. Had a gorgeous FWB off Tinder for a bit and met a really lovely man n POF who I’ve been seeing for 3 months. I set my age range to 48-60 so no young ones or older ones.

[anotherdisaster]

I think it can depend where you live. If you're in a city or close to one, then most sites will be pretty much the same. I would recommend Plenty of Fish over Tinder or Bumble though.

[Joy69]

I'm 51 and met my partner on Ok.Cupid. I'd tried Match & Bumble previously, but this seemed slightly better. Got a few messages from older men who weren't really my type, but nothing sleazy. The main problem with it wastbe distance thing on.it seemed way out.
I wouldn't bother with the sites listed or over 50's because they charge more & the same men are on Match ( probably owned by the same company) I didn't pay for Ok Cupid, although there is that option.
Good luck. Hope you find a good one x

[Daet]

Thanks for further replies. Joy why do you think OKCupid was better if you don’t mind me asking,

[Joy69]

I didn't seem to get any sleaze or requests for email addresses, messaging on Whatsapp etc. I may have just been luck though.

[Dieu]

I've been on a few sites, and the some of the strangest men were on OkCupid.
It really does depend on your luck though, so I wouldn't rule it out and just keep an open mind.
All the best

[Feelingfree]

I did try telepgrah dating for a month but again men tended to be over 60. Many men in their 50s still want younger models I think. When I looked at profiles on Match, most mid 50s wanted women younger than themselves.

[Liveforever86]

I’m 33 and was single for 2 years until October. I tried Tinder, Match and OkCupid. TBH I found online dating very difficult (having previously not struggled to meet or date men, but suddenly becoming single when everyone was marrying/sprogging up etc!) This was not helped by the fact that that the quality of men was low- I’m not a shallow person- I’m talking here about kindness, humour etc. The men also seemed to think that they were in some kind of sweet shop and could pick/chose- even those that were a lot older then me and objectively ahem less attractive or successful. Having said all this, I met my current boyfriend on OKC and am very happy with him- he is very kind and smart and we click. I preferred OKC overall because it was grownup but didn’t take itself too seriously-great questions, left wing men and it calculates your ‘compatibility’. Tinder was ok but too many topless selfies/‘CEOS’/ part time models/DJs/general twats. Match (the only paid site, signed up after too much vino!) was by far the worst, could have met a better man in my local (East London) Weatherspoons.
Good luck- remember that being single is not that bad. In fact it can be amazing. I’d recommend taking breaks from online dating if/when it gets you down- you are what is important.

[Daet]

LiveForever thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed post.

I’m finding it so difficult and so different from how dating used to be! Looking back on past relationships, I think we had some common ground from the start due to where and when we met. So for instance, first serious relationship met at uni, dh at work etc. With on line dating, it’s potentially a wider pool but also potentially much less in common.

I’m not expressing myself very well - prob just easier to say I’m getting interest from men I’m not attracted to for whatever reason. and no interest from the men I am attracted to!

[Redland12]

I absolutely agree with all of theses posts! I could of written them myself, I’m putting photos up on Match this weekend. I’m 61 but look younger so I’ve put in looking for 45-55 as anyone over that (or my age) looks like an old man! Wife beater vests, or holding a fish or leaning against an expensive car (which doesn’t belong to them) or in BED! I mean what’s that about! I’m hoping when I put photos on I may get a different kind of guy. So interesting to hear your take on these sites.

[Daet]

Oh Redland good luck. Don’t be disheartened. Honestly, some (well, most!) of the men I’ve had contact me have made my heart sink! I know that’s probably very shallow as I’m sure a lot of them are very lovely men, but surely there has to be some initial attraction in the first place!

Let us know how you get on.

[Daet]

The other thing I’ve found on Match is that, on the rare occasions where there has been a match, the men have never messaged first. I have no issues with being the first to make contact but it would be nice the other way round sometimes!

[Redland12]

Definitely has to be some attraction as what’s the point. I too have been the first to initiate a conversation. I will keep you updated, I seem to have younger men liking my profile even though no picture yet, but I think it maybe for fun which I don’t mind, you know Daet the older woman thing.

[Redland12]

Well I went live at 3 o’clock today on Match, put photos on. I had over 300 hits in a couple of hours! Probably only 2 caught my eye but didn’t message them as they were just ok!! Had messages from loads, mostly from young guys 22 upwards ( I’m 61 but a good 61) they were not bothered about age gap at all and honestly said they prefer older women.
They were really fit but 22! God do I give up?

[Daet]

How are you getting on Redlands? Very impressed with your 300 hits!

I’m losing the will I think. I get quite a lot of likes but hardly any that I like back. And a surprisingly large number of young ones. Those that I match with never follow up

A few promising conversations have fizzled out for no reason I can tell. And I went on one date which I enjoyed, he said he’d like to see me again, messaged later that evening, and since then - nothing! Aaagh! Starting to get a complex!

[Daet]

I am going for a drink with someone tomorrow. He seems very nice but I’m not really feeling it. Will see how it goes!

One man I swiped right by mistake. He matched back and sent me a message saying “hello”. I replied with “hello to you too”. A day later he sent “how are you?”. I replied with “fine thank you, how are you?” And the next day I got “no, not interested. You’ve got no chat and you disappear”. And he blocked me! I’m not quite sure how my chat was any less inspiring than his!

[Redland12]

Hiya. Omg! I have literally had hundreds but 99% are terrible. I’ve had more luck on Bumble. I have been ghosted once on there though! Just disappeared! Deleted his account and gone. Getting on brilliantly. On Match I am having young and old guys but not much luck at all. Give Bumble a try. Your doing better than me I’ve not had one date😡😡😡😡 keep me posted

[Daet]

It’s dispiriting isn’t it? I wonder if we’ve been contacted by some of the same young ones?!

Its heartening in a way to know you’re having the same issues with chatting and then disappearing but I’m sorry it’s happening to you too!

[Mermaidwaves]

I've joined okcupid. The men seem more serious there, although there's lots of arty types. The main problem is hardly any men in my area and I'm not particularly rural. I've got some conversations going and it seems less sleazy than POF but far less choice as well.