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dos your fmaily keep trivial secrets?

(23 Posts)
LaCod Sun 02-Sep-07 19:28:04

cna you never remmeber hwo knows what?
cos i am int he shit.
mum told me nicece was going to haev a health check up ( on going not too serious)

i told sister
sister ranted to em abotu mum being less htan constructive abotu the issue - sister obv stressed.
rang mum back to say back off ( gently) and mum in a right old huff i told sister i knew!!!

its hardly a state secret and afetr all i am nieces guradian in event of sisters death bal bla

i told mum i am not doing allt his family secret hting adn anyway i hadnt been told itwas classified

forsale Sun 02-Sep-07 19:29:58

no actual secrets but there are things some people just "know" but arent meant to discuss. I dont buy into all this family politics shite to be honest.

LaCod Sun 02-Sep-07 19:30:10

am i in wrong

whe i say " i told siter i knew" i said oh tlel me baout dn going to see specialist

whoops Sun 02-Sep-07 19:31:09

We occasionally have to keep things from our Gran as she moans about the smallest thing!
But we're not always told what we can or can't say to her!

forsale Sun 02-Sep-07 19:31:16

not in my opinion but how did your mum tell you?

LaCod Sun 02-Sep-07 19:31:43

she said "oh dn is ogint o see a specialist" adn tht was it

forsale Sun 02-Sep-07 19:37:17

no not in the wrong

LaCod Sun 02-Sep-07 19:58:35

htanking YOU

southeastastra Sun 02-Sep-07 20:12:39

they like to bitch about each other. to me hmm

maisemor Mon 03-Sep-07 10:12:55

You are not alone LaCod (like your new name)my family likes to keep everything a secret. No matter how trivial it is.

snowkitten Mon 03-Sep-07 10:29:35

my dh's parents are ridiculous! I will tell them something about ds/dd and they won't pass it on to their daughter! In my family if i tell my brother something then I assume he will pass the info on to my sister/parents etc. (unless I have specified not to of course). I find this keeping of trivial news a secret, frankly quite irritating angry. For instance, I told my sil that ds had started to walk and she didn't tell my inlaws! they then got offended that they hadn't been told when I had assumed she would tell them. People are strange aren't they??!

Baffy Mon 03-Sep-07 10:30:59

Yes lots of trivial secrets in my family. Bloody annoying!

Don't think you were in the wrong here.

fryalot Mon 03-Sep-07 10:31:28

mum tells me stuff twice and thinks she's told two different people, or she will tell someone else something twice and not tell me at all.

We used to get very pissed off with her as it felt like she was keeping stuff from us, now we just realise that she is insane and we don't let it worry us.

NadineBaggott Mon 03-Sep-07 10:32:22

can't see the problem unless your sis deffo told your mum to keep it to herself

snowleopard Mon 03-Sep-07 10:49:43

Oooohhhh yes I have a massive extended family of neurotic women all telling each other not to tell so-and-so this or that, including my mum and sister. They have feuds and then it is things like you are not allowed to tell X that Y will be passing through their area but not going to see them - but actually Y wants X to know so that she will feel snubbed etc etc blah-de-blah whatever.

I always spill the beans and I don't care. I have been playing my mum and sister off against each other for years. Not to be spiteful or to be a stirrer, but because tbh it is the easiest way to have something to talk about with both of them.

Honestly, they enjoy it... I never feel guilty if I've put my foot in it because they just get a load more mileage out of it and on it goes.

harpsichordcarrier Mon 03-Sep-07 10:51:42

god it is hard to remember this stuff.
my mum is kept In The Dark just because she will stress about things and get all teary about others but it is incredibly hard to keep track.
there are two many women in my family imo

Isababel Mon 03-Sep-07 10:51:51


I'm still trying to decode the first post... how on earth did you get in such problem???

cerys Mon 03-Sep-07 10:52:16

yes, mine too. Lots of telling me things but not to tell X/Y/Z that I know. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, my mum didn't want me to tell my in-laws! Wouldn't have been so bad but SHE would tell random people she met, the couple who live in the next street etc. Weird.

My mum is big on being a martyr - not saying if someone upsets her, then 3 years later it all comes out in a torrent of pent up anger hmm

ProjectIcarusinhercar Mon 03-Sep-07 10:56:13

You are not in the wrong. Suspect your mum is just having a go because you gently told her back off tbh.

I don't listen to any moans about other family members At All. Can't be arsed. And it is no way related to me being everyones (former - retired grin) secret keeper oh no. And Nothing at all to do with discovering none of them kept anything to themselves that I told them in confidence.

Too many women in my family too.

PregnantGrrrl Mon 03-Sep-07 10:56:51

my Gran is the biggest culprit for doing this. Now whenever she starts a conversation with 'don't tell so-and-so but...' i stop her and say i'd rather not know if it means keeping things from my mother / grandfather etc.

escape Mon 03-Sep-07 11:04:56

I could write a website dedicated to this
The worst ism y Nanna.
she's got nothing better to do I think!
its always - DONT tell yer grandad!
OTOH, DH , well, if you don't want them to know something do not tell any of them anything.
his auntie is hilariys and very upfront about it, I thought I could trust his mum, shes a bit different, but no not really.
the worst thing about that lot is the way they bitch about each other something chronic, like there's no loyalty and a horrible simmering jealousy of each other (for nothing) and a culture of sulking from the 2yr olds to the 72 year olds.
My family are comlete mentallers, but we'd die for each other loyalty wise, and only diss each other when somebody's done something out of order, then they get told to their faces!
families eh!

escape Mon 03-Sep-07 11:05:50

I literally dread to think what they say about us sad

Fossil Mon 03-Sep-07 11:08:29

My mother was always put out if I knew something that my sister & family was doing before she did, such as putting their house up for sale or something. After a few years I realised that both my mum and dad are effectively only children, and they just don't know what it is like to have a sibling relationship, i.e. kids v parents.

Another funny thing they do is say "have you seen your sister lately?", not "have you seen [name] lately?". As if she's nothing to do with them. She says they do the same when asking about me.

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