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When I look at DH, I think 'God, you're ugly.'

(50 Posts)
SerialM Fri 17-Jan-20 21:25:02

Since DCs, I think my DH is disgusting.
The way he eats, his smell, the fact that he doesn't change his underwear everyday, I have known him leave the house without brushing his teeth, he never gets his hair cut, he's always on his phone, he can't be arsed with life unless it involves boys days/nights away with friends.

More recently, I can't look at him without thinking he's really ugly. Sex is rare thankfully, but when it does happen, I always feel a bit yuck afterwards.

Is this a post kids thing? Or is this the beginning of the end?

SerialM Fri 17-Jan-20 21:26:28

P.s he made more effort with himself pre-kids. But I have also discovered from his family members that pre-me, this is how he was!

formerbabe Fri 17-Jan-20 21:28:42

It's nothing to do with having kids or you. It's him. He sounds disgustingly unhygenic. Is he depressed?

Ahdjdkfbdixbsk Fri 17-Jan-20 21:30:19

It's not a post kids thing, it's a DH problem. He needs to sort his attitude and personal hygiene out. It's disrespectful to you for him to behave this way and it sounds like it's killing your attraction to him.

Fairycake2 Fri 17-Jan-20 21:31:13

He's either depressed or has just totally given up. If it's the latter then its probably the beginning of the end I'm afraid especially as you can't bare to near him

wildcherries Fri 17-Jan-20 21:32:04

Nah, he's just not taking care of himself. That'd put anyone off. I'd refuse sex etc with someone that unhygienic. Have you tried raising it with him, however awkward?

TwoZeroTwoZero Fri 17-Jan-20 21:32:05

Is he depressed? Have you told him how you feel? If so and he makes no effort to rectify it then take steps to leave.

Cauliflowerpower Fri 17-Jan-20 21:32:06

Yuk what on earth did you see in him.... I mean.... eeeeeew

Iggly Fri 17-Jan-20 21:32:11

Sounds fucking disgusting. At the very least it sets a terrible example to his children.

Foghead Fri 17-Jan-20 21:35:39

A smelly, dirty-pant wearing, stinky breathed man who is disengaged from family life isn’t really going to turn on many women..

TheresGotToBeMoreToLife Fri 17-Jan-20 21:36:27

Ugh this sounds familiar.

My ex husband would do the same. Get up and leave the house without brushing his teeth. To me it was just horrendous. I mentioned it a few times and hed say "I'm a grown man. I'll do what I like" as though that was a valid arguement. Just grim. Sometimes he would say he had forgotten. How?? How on earth does that happen? Theres a marked difference in your mouth before and after cleaning your teeth.

Whynosnowyet Fri 17-Jan-20 21:38:51

Start calling him Onslo....

Hopoindown31 Fri 17-Jan-20 21:41:49

I know they exist, but I have never lived with a male that doesn't shower daily, wear clean underwear daily and brushes their teeth at least daily and even then they can be a bit smelly at times! Bloody awful.

ironicname Fri 17-Jan-20 21:41:51

Sounds untenable to me. Is you are actually repulsed by him, then you need to tell him.

Oly4 Fri 17-Jan-20 21:43:39

Have you told him how this makes you feel?

MyGhastIsFlabbered Fri 17-Jan-20 21:45:04

I had an ex like that...he came to stay with me for a week...didn't even bring a toothbrush and showered once...then wondered why I didn't want to have sex with him hmm

Minimamame Fri 17-Jan-20 21:46:00

Sounds like my husband op. I feel your pain.

Sparkletastic Fri 17-Jan-20 21:48:40

Beginning of the end.

picklemepopcorn Fri 17-Jan-20 21:50:38

So has he changed a lot, or have you started to see him differently?

DeeZastris Fri 17-Jan-20 21:54:27

Sounds revolting.

WhoisitnowRalph Fri 17-Jan-20 21:59:17

Wow, I opened the thread to remark that you weren't being very loyal to a man you must have loved once, then read the rest.

Ew, scummy sod. Presumably he doesn't think enough of himself to make an effort to even be clean? Does anyone else ever say anything to him?

McTits Fri 17-Jan-20 22:03:41

My ex was like this! When I suggested that he might want a shower, to clean his teeth, change his underpants etc he accused me of picking on him! 🙄 Even more shocking, he still found women who were willing to have affairs with him. I have no contact with him these days but my daughters inform me that he smells even worse! 🤢

SeagullOnTheWind Fri 17-Jan-20 22:12:32

This is my OH... And I'm sorry to see there's been a few other guys like him out there. He knows how I feel about it and yes I get the whole 'you're picking on me' thing. It's tied into his weight. Claims his self esteem is very low. But won't do anything to change. I think this is why his ex had an affair then left.

OhTheRoses Fri 17-Jan-20 22:12:37

Very sad on so many counts. Was he always a bit grubby? DH mother was a bit of a grubmonger and his sisters have questionable hygiene. Something turned DH round and it wasn't just me bladting "no you can't wear pants and socks two days running - he was showering daily long before that.

What is his family like. My MIL has a lotnto answer for but DH carved his own niche.

Summatsummit Fri 17-Jan-20 22:25:53

Two thread you need to read, OP:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/3784524-To-think-you-cant-get-past-the-ick-im-a-relationship

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3793299-AIBU-pregnancy-with-an-unsuitable-man-ALL-over-this-site

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