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dont know what to think or do ?

(6 Posts)
3dsand2dds Wed 29-Aug-07 13:22:44

hi ladies

youve helped with other personal problems in the past and hoping, for opinions and advice on my situation.

i have posted using other names before and using a different this time as my user name is part of my problem.

me and kids went out on saturday (dp knew it was a boooked trip) wehad a great day, and the next day the kids went to my mums as usual, when leaving mymum asked if my dp saw his kids on saturday, as she had seen his ex (still married) with a baby(one she has had with someone else)getting into a taxi outside our house on saturday, i said the usual things and made out i knew all about it, but was devaststated as he hasnt seen her in about 3 yrs, and now confused and angry that he didnt tell me she had been round.

when i got home i obviously confronted him which turned into a huge row, he claims they bumped into each other in town and he invited her back as they have issues regarding access to his kids, (he normally sees them through his mum)

i compleatly lost the plot and lost my temper i was just so angry that shed been here and he hadnt said a thing, now i feel as though the house is tainted by her and just have images of her sitting in my house etc, he then had the cheek to be angry as apprently she knows im pregnant when im due, what im having etc and even what names ive picked and what pram i have bought.

i cant work out where she got all this info i think its partly to do with the fact i posted my email adress on here when i was buying something, now i have to change my username and email adress as i think she has been cyber stalking me or something.

anyway now i dont know where i am, am i stupid for putting up with this he claims its all innocent, and was seeing her for the sake of the kids etc, i want to believe this but then why not tell me hed seen her, even when he saw my mum when his ex was leaving, so he knew my mum would tell me she was here, weve been together for 4 yrs and now expecting a baby i feel such a fool, and so deceived and ive now found out hes even ordered a catalogue in her name and been ordering stuff from it (he says he cleared with her first and she is fine with it)

i feel so awful my insides are all twisted, and i cant get them out of my head she is a nutcase and will do anything to get back with dp and hes always had rose tinted glasses when it comes to her, wouldnt believe she would have got this info from her havinbg this e mail address and he thinks ive some how got all this info to her to wind her up on purpose so he cant see his kids.

i know all this is very complicated but i just all i want is a quiet life not perfect or speacial just normal, am i being a nutter for reacting like this, please help i feel i cant trust any friends at the moment as i dont know where she got all her info from. so i feel like ive noone to talk to i just feel sick all the time thinking about him decieving me if he hasnt told me about this what else hasnt he told me......

Tansycat Wed 29-Aug-07 13:33:02

Poor you! That sounds terrible! I completely identify with the feeling sick all the time! It seems like the biggest problem is that you think he's lied to you and so if he's lied about this what else has he lied about. Is that right? It all sounds very complicated but I think the most important thing is to get that trust back asap. If you and your dp have that then you can work everything else out together rather than apart. I would try and sit him down and very calmly explain how much it has upset you and why - i think you are being perfectly reasonable but difficult as it is you need to keep your cool!

With his ex on the scene so much you really do need to keep communicating as much as possible! Hope it gets better!

themoon66 Wed 29-Aug-07 13:41:21

Is your DP still married to this woman then? I'd be bloody livid if I were you.

3dsand2dds Wed 29-Aug-07 18:46:10

sorry my internet went down earlier

yeah he is still married to his ex he cant afford to get divorced, and for some bizare reason she wont divorce him, even though she left him for anoether man, (the situation is worsened by the fact she used to be my best friend until she left her husband to be with mine!) so the history between me and her is very complicated, the last time we met face to face we had a huge punch up.

so i have issues about the fact she seems to want my life, she is starnge and deluded and it seems will do anything to find out about my life, crazy !!

NurseyJo Wed 29-Aug-07 18:54:25

Message withdrawn

3dsand2dds Wed 29-Aug-07 19:58:26

no cause the kids dont know and they havent seen each other since this happened over 4 yrs ago my children had never met my mates husband before the split, i cant say the same for her kids not being confused as my ex was a good friend to her sons long before we split, but my ex also refuses to see the kids so i guess ive had no need to tell them.

it is very complicated had become much easier in last 2 yrs as my ex mate had had a baby by my ex so they were leaving us alone to get on with things, sometimes i do wish my life was muuch simpler but we just have to get on with it.

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