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I don't think I like dh - long, sorry...

(3 Posts)
hobalob Tue 28-Aug-07 20:19:00

Thinking back over the arguments etc we have had recently, I am coming to the conclusion that I don't actually like him anymore.
We have been married 13 years, and have 1ds who is still a baby...

We have had arguments in the past, and I have often wondered what I am doing with him, but things seem to have taken a turn to 'I don't actually LIKE him'.... He is a nice enough bloke, he loves ds, and he does loads for me - bought me a car, comes to my parents, babysits so I go out etc etc etc.

But recently he has been talking to me like I am worthless - this morning, when I said I didnt want ds to have a tv in his room til he is 12 (God, this IS 12 years away!), he replied that if I'm not careful I will be an object of hate. Bit harsh for 7am..

More and more often he is really unkind verbally. Making me feel like shit, and shouting at me in front of ds. He wont back down, despite this morning asking for time out, and even AGREEING with him, he STILL carried on laying in to me...

I am also ashamed to say that on occasion he has grabbed me (always thought I would walk out on anyone like this straight away). He hasnt hurt me but has threatened to.

And He always bargains with me so he doesnt have to have ds ('well I had him for an hour this morning, it's your turn now' - I thought having ds was meant to be a pleasure?!). He has no family to speak of (don't get on) and virtually no friends (we moved away from our friends), so when I threaten to go, he harps on about how he will have noone.. But he never sees these people, and will let them down at the drop of a hat - we made plans to visit his family at the weekend, but he decided not to, so he cancelled for the 3rd time in as many months. It doesnt bother him to let these people down, but I see it as an extension of his thoughtlessness.....

So I am beginning to think that this isnt the person I want to spend muchmore of my life with...

Any advice?

magsi Tue 28-Aug-07 21:05:55

Blimey, he sounds a bit too controlling for my liking. Playing with your mind isn't nice and slowly wears away your self esteem, especially when you are extra vulnerable being a new mum. O.k. from an outsiders point of view the thing that is jumping out at me the most is that he 'grabs you' and has 'threatened to hurt you'. This is reason enough to act. If what you need here is confirmation that your instincts are telling you to change this situation, then change it for the sake of your ds. This man sounds really hard-faced to me. Be strong for you and your ds1. (and don't give in to the emotional blackmail!) Good luck

LucyJones Tue 28-Aug-07 21:07:45

sad
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