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My husband is missing

(235 Posts)
Onalake Tue 10-Dec-19 16:10:24

He has alcohol dependency and depression and has suicidal thoughts. I thought he was upstairs, looked out of the window and realised the car was gone. I have phoned the police who are looking for him. I am devasted, sitting here waiting for news is killing me

OP’s posts: |
Allyg1185 Tue 10-Dec-19 16:12:12

How long has been away for?

Goodnightjude1 Tue 10-Dec-19 16:12:56

A handhold for you OP.
I hope he turns up soon and everything is ok 💐

LidlDonkey Tue 10-Dec-19 16:13:01

Oh you poor thing. Please try not to think the worst. Hopefully the police will find him very soon. flowers

forumdonkey Tue 10-Dec-19 16:18:58

If he's in the car, hopefully the police can locate him quickly.

Has something happened that makes you think he's in danger rather than popped out? Is there anyone who can wait with you?

Ogham Tue 10-Dec-19 16:19:27

I hope he’s home soon x

PhilomenaChristmasPie Tue 10-Dec-19 16:20:31

Hope he comes back soon.

shippa Tue 10-Dec-19 16:22:13

Such a hard time of year for so many. I'm hoping the fact he has the car will mean he is quickly tracked down. Does he have form for taking off?

Mama1980 Tue 10-Dec-19 16:22:35

Another hand hold here.
Maybe make yourself a cup to there someone in rl who can sit with you?

TokyoSushi Tue 10-Dec-19 16:23:06

Oh goodness OP.

Has anything happened? Has he been drinking? What makes you think that he's missing rather than just gone out somewhere? How long has he been gone?

I hope that he's back very soon.

iklboodolphrednosedreindeer Tue 10-Dec-19 16:23:41

Hand hold here. Hope all is well and he's just gone for some fresh air. Has he been drinking before he took the car?

Onalake Tue 10-Dec-19 16:26:27

He has no history of taking off, but has been talking of killing himself recently. The doc referred him to the mental health team, he is having an assessment on Friday.

He has been gone for an hour or so I guess, but this is completely out of character and he has no access to money.

We live in the middle of nowhere, 8 miles from the nearest large village, almost 40 miles from the nearest medium sized town. , so no anpr cameras as predominantly narrow country lanes everywhere

OP’s posts: |
Onalake Tue 10-Dec-19 16:27:48

He has been drinking today, and no, thee is no one who can sit with me, family are a 4 hour drive away

OP’s posts: |
DartmoorDoughnut Tue 10-Dec-19 16:28:01

Hope he’s found soon flowers

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 10-Dec-19 16:29:15

Another hand hold.

I hope he wasn't drinking before he took the car?

Hope the police can find him quickly. Good that he has a MH assessment on Friday, perhaps he could be referred to a local crisis team in the meantime?

Fingers crossed for you OP, keep up posted.

saraclara Tue 10-Dec-19 16:29:34

I hope you get some good news soon. This must be very scary for you.

graziemille567 Tue 10-Dec-19 16:29:50

Sorry to hear this, I hope he's found soon it must be horrible not knowing where he is under the circumstances. thanks

GrapefruitGin Tue 10-Dec-19 16:29:57

Hand hold OP, I really hope he’s found soon. Have you called a family member or close friend? Might give you some comfort flowers

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 10-Dec-19 16:31:17


You can only help your own self ultimately. None of this is down to you, none of it. He is in the grips of alcoholism and the only one who can pull himself out is him.

Unless he himself properly accepts he has a drink problem there is nothing that anyone and that includes you can do to help him. He has to want to help his own self and without any input from you.

You need to be apart from him now. Hard as it is for you, he will only continue to drag you down with him otherwise.

cjt110 Tue 10-Dec-19 16:33:53

Another here offering support. flowersbrew

Is there any further news yet? Have they sent an officer to sit with you?

IckleBear Tue 10-Dec-19 16:37:31

I hope he contacts you soon

Onalake Tue 10-Dec-19 16:39:48

No news. What concerns me is that his phone is ringing. This means he is static somewhere as we have shockingly poor phone coverage round here.
They haven't sent an officer out no, assuming as he hasn't been gone long they are perhaps not taking it seriously at the moment, although I know this is totally out of character and he has been talking about killing himself by driving off the road.

OP’s posts: |
Raindancer411 Tue 10-Dec-19 16:40:01

I hope they find him soon for you. Once the police find him they maybe able to get some MH involvement going ASAP. Keeping fingers crossed for you

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Tue 10-Dec-19 16:41:21

If you have informed the police about his state of mind and the mention of killing himself, they have to take it seriously.

Could you call the station for an update? Even if it's just to give yourself something to do...

lifeisgoodagain Tue 10-Dec-19 16:41:45

The police do have to wait some time because he's an adult and have every right to go out without telling you. But they will have a call out on his numberplate. Is there friends/colleagues he's close to?

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