Husband is preparing for "end of world"

[Keira8]

This is my first thread. I am so unsure on how to even start with my issue....well I think it's an issue. Very confused!
I have been with my Husband for 19 years, married for 13. Have 3 wonderful daughters aging between 11 years and 6 years. I was very much besotted with my husband, but over the past few years he has changed, and I honestly don't know what to do.
Whilst I was pregnant with my youngest, my husband started to tell me that within 6 months a world war was going to happen, and so we had to store as much food as possible so that we could survive. 6 months went past, nothing happened, then the date changed and we had to carry on storing food and essentials. I was on maternity leave and couldn't afford this extra "just in case" food.
Then a year later, he brought a weapon (I have no clue where it is kept) incase we get attacked!
Basically from this, it has gone from bad to worse. I have tried for years to get him to see a doctor, but he thinks I am mad for not believing him. He constantly sends me videos on how the terrorist attacks are in fact propaganda, and the government are doing this to scare us!
He doesn't talk to me, he preaches and belittles me about it.
He now tells our eldest about what he believes, and I am worried its affecting her. I am on anti-depressants, and I now think he is the reason.
I have fallen out of love with him, but in his state I am worried leaving him will send him over the edge. I haven't been happy for a long time now, but have always tried talking to him and sorting our issues out. I feel like I am the bad person, as I honestly believes he needs help, and I don't want my girls being raised in an broken home.
Has anyone else ever had this situation? I feel so alone. I am always walking on egg shells with him. Not sure how much more I can take. x

[HollowTalk]

That sounds really serious. Does he take any recreational drugs? He does sound paranoid.

I would speak to your GP about him.

[Icanflyhigh]

I'm worried that he keeps weapons in the house and you don't know where. He sounds very unstable and paranoid about terrorism.

I think if he won't see a doctor at your request, it may be beneficial for you to speak to his GP and share your concerns.

He shouldn't be sharing this with your children at all, and again my biggest concern would be the weaponry.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

I think this may be a manefestation of a MH problem which will only get worse. Are you in the UK, OP? I'd have a word with your own doctor first.

This 'end of the world' prepping can be the first stage in a massive paranoia problem which can have awful repercussions. You may need to start making plans to get out of there, with your children, who WILL be being affected.

[Hepsibar]

You take care. It certainly sounds like he has some very serious mental health issues and you should contact your GP asap and have a domestic violence app on your phone.

[Keira8]

I have asked him to seek medical advice for years. I have even said that I would have to leave him if he doesn't. He gets better for a while, and then back to square one.
I have spoken to doctor about this, and they replied that husband has to make appointment for himself.
Husband also doesn't believe I should be on anti-depressants as he "knows" they are a placebo.
I absolutely hate the weapons, it makes me sick to the stomach. I left him when he told me he had brought one, but then begged me to come back as he promised me that he had sold it. I found out that was a lie. But now with 3 children in tow, I haven't found the strength to leave. He tells me that we are his whole world, and he is doing it to protect us. If he doesn't try to protect us then he is failing as a Husband and Father. That just breaks my heart for him.

[AFairlyHardAvocado]

You poor thing this sounds like it's tipped from unsettling to scary.

Definitely go to the GP yourself if he won't at the moment, to get advice on next steps.

This is a mental health problem that needs to be tackled carefully and you will need support to be part of this.

I hope your GP is understanding - if they are dismissive I would request to see a different one until you find a GP with experience of mental health referrals.

I would also call the charity MIND as they are fantastic (IME) when it comes to advising resources, next steps and perspective.

This sounds serious and I suspect they will reassure you that you aren't overreacting which is hugely helpful in a situation like this.

Good luck OP I'm sorry this sounds horrible, poor you

[HowlsMovingBungalow]

Bought what type of weapon? A gun needs a licence and a clean bill of mental health. Worrying to have a weapon stored in your home with a paranoid man.

[AFairlyHardAvocado]

I have spoken to doctor about this, and they replied that husband has to make appointment for himself.

Cross posted - definitely speak to MIND and also request to see another GP at your local practice.

But now with 3 children in tow, I haven't found the strength to leave. He tells me that we are his whole world, and he is doing it to protect us. If he doesn't try to protect us then he is failing as a Husband and Father. That just breaks my heart for him.

Please don't let him make you feel this way. Your primary responsibility is to keep your children safe and protect them. You are succeeding as a mother by doing this - his needs are unfortunately secondary to this. Don't make your decisions based on guilt towards him, make them based on protection towards your children.

[inwood]

Are you in the UK? I'd be reporting the weapon to the police, no way I would have my child in the house with a potentially loaded gun and not know where it is.

[madcatladyforever]

He sounds exactly like my first husband. First the conspiracy theoriel, then the hoarding and then the paranoia and ended up with him being sectioned after trying to murder me.
You should make good your escape now. He is dangerous.

[AlexaAmbidextra]

I’m going to be really dramatic here but I’d be concerned about how far your mentally unstable husband would be prepared to go to save you all from harm. That’s how family annihilators think. He sounds dangerous to me and I’d get myself and my children out of harms way.

[Cocolapew]

You need to keep yourself and your children safe, he needs to leave the house if he isn't willing to seek help.
This isn't going to get better.

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Oh, and inform the police about the weapons. They’ll remove them. Doesn’t stop him getting more though unfortunately.

[Keira8]

Thank you all for your responses. It has taken me a lot of strength to send this.
The weapons are a cross bow, and an air rifle.
I know I need to do right by my children, this is just such a scary process for me. The other two children don't understand, and I know they are going to be heartbroken.
I don't know how many more chances I can give him. As I said, this has been going on since I was pregnant with my youngest 6 years ago.

[Trewser]

What weapon? Are you in the UK?

[HowlsMovingBungalow]

Report the weapons OP to the police - had a feeling you were going to say a crossbow...
Do it TODAY!

[Cocolapew]

No more chances, really, this could esculate horribly.

[Trewser]

Fucking hell. I'd take the weapons to the nearest police station.

[Trewser]

Surely your house can't be so hige that he can hide a crossbow and air rifle??

[RuffleCrow]

I think you and your dcs need to get help from your local domestic abuse charity to go into refuge quickly and quietly without saying anything to him. He sounds like he's staging Waco #2 in your family home. Yes he's mentally ill but it's not your job to stick around and try to 'fix' him. Put your safety and your kids first.

[Zofloramummy]

Good lord, I really don’t want to scare you but sometimes people suffering from this type of delusion believe the only way to keep their family ‘safe’ is to kill them so no one can do them any harm.

Completely fucked up thinking but sadly it happens. Ring Women’s Aid for advice, ring MIND, ring the police about the crossbow and apply for an emergency anti molestation order. I am worried about your safety should you decide to end your marriage.

[ISmellBabies]

I think I would have to leave and allow only supervised access until he's sorted his mental health out. Get the police to collect the weapons from the house too. I agree with the poster who said this has a ring of family annihilation about it.

[Zofloramummy]

I would second the refuge idea.

[Keira8]

@Trewser I can't get into the loft, so not sure if it is in there. I have looked in the garage and cannot find it. He just tells me they are safe and away from anyone finding them

[Trewser]

How do people get themselves into this situation

Why didn't you kick off when he first told you about the weapons??