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He prefers Netflix than our relationship

(50 Posts)
Mudv Mon 02-Dec-19 00:28:49

My boyfriend 32 has a problem with obsessively watching Netflix. MY NETFLIX because he’s cheap.

I only see him on weekends because I work in another town. I always have to travel to him (1 hour train then 20 minutes metro). He never pays for my train and now makes no effort during our weekends together.

He will get back from work at 1.30am, light a spliff and turn on Netflix. He won’t go to bed until the morning. This weekend I gave up went to bed at 5am and he followed at 7.30am. He then slept all day even though it was our one day together, before work in evening. He wasn’t even sorry.

I went out with friends but missed the last metro home at midnight (I’m new to the city and my friend wouldn’t stop at dinner). I asked boyfriend to collect me if I paid fuel (20 min drive one way). He picked up my message at 1.15am (one hour waiting outside in the cold) but told me “I will dine first”.
I said, what?
He said, I will eat first with my friends and my boss
I said, there are drunk people here (drunk man tried to sit next to me outside the dark train station and I felt scared)
He said, yes it’s Saturday night
I said, I’m alone outside the station
He said, it’s not my fault

Uhhh hello, wtf? He finally showed up at 2.10am and I was freezing my butt off in the cold with no coat. I hadn’t planned to go out for dinner with my friend and I haven’t asked for him to collect me before. Who leaves their girlfriend out in the middle of a city she doesn’t know, scared and asking for help, but you eat first !??

I have asked him if he can plead be more romantic or thoughtful to me. Last weekend he did the same Netflix crap and was farting at me. He wouldn’t come with me to get a winter coat and said “it’s not my fault you don’t have a coat”. Ok so you want your girlfriend to get sick from not having a coat??
He wouldn’t go to the supermarket even though no food in his apartment and you have to drive to the shop because it’s far and I didn’t feel comfortable driving his car on the other side of the road. So I hardly ate anything like a prisoner.
The weekend before that I got a strange bug bite that made my elbow swell like a golf ball. He wasn’t arsed one bit and didn’t even try to offer help like some ice or the doctor or even a morsel of Interest in my wellbeing.

He ignores me a lot of the time and is never affectionate. He feels weirdly uncomfortable holding my hand on the sofa or in public. He is highly critical of me for tiny things like how to fill a dishwasher. I realise because his mum is the same with him. He never tells me he loves me or any compliments. He has the audacity to say I am always complaining 24/7 when I’m not!! I hardly tell him anything even though I’m struggling at my new job because I know he will criticise me for “complaining”

We’ve been together 1.5 years and I’m not happy but it’s like Stockholm syndrome. I’m scared to leave. Can somebody just tell me what Im supposed to expect from a relationship??

forcedfunatxmas Mon 02-Dec-19 00:33:43

I think you know to expect more than this.

He's an arse. He isnt that in to you. He certainly doesnt love you or care about you. So you can either stay in the misery or you can set yourself free to find someone loving and caring. Being alone is better than this BS and it would cost you less too, as a bonus.

heartyrebel Mon 02-Dec-19 00:36:40

This is not even a relationship. Doesnt sound like he even likes you, let alone loves you. You deserve more. Id rather be alone than with someone who treated me with such disdain.

Notsurehowtofixit Mon 02-Dec-19 00:37:38

Yeah, why stay with him? Get your weekends back.

30to50FeralHogs Mon 02-Dec-19 00:43:12

1. Change your Netflix password
2. Dump his stoner ass
3. Read some books or websites about relationships so that you don’t settle for someone so crap again. Ask yourself - Why is your bar so low?
4. Save yourself a load of cash and hassle visiting him and concentrate on enjoying yourself, go to some evening classes or hobbies and meet new interesting people who don’t expect you to travel 1.5 hours to see them and who wouldn’t leave you out in the cold in the middle of then night while they eat.

BingoLittlesUncle Mon 02-Dec-19 00:50:15

You do not have a relationship. You are his Netflix provider- that's all. Get rid.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 02-Dec-19 00:55:14

Is there a reason you accept being treated like shit?

GiveHerHellFromUs Mon 02-Dec-19 00:56:39

He doesn't even like you, he just likes your Netflix account.

I'd actually just ghost him. It's basically what he's done to you when you're sat right next to him.

Bluerussian Mon 02-Dec-19 01:00:50

Just withdraw from his life. Don't say anything, block him everywhere, change your netflix password, stay on your own for a while contemplating and then - relaunch yourself into society. You'll have learned from this experience and will never go back into anything like it again.

Be strong.

VanyaHargreeves Mon 02-Dec-19 01:02:35

Cocklodging for Netflix

You lost me at gets home lights a spliff

Surely this is a binbags on the doorstep situation?

Gossipjunkie22 Mon 02-Dec-19 01:23:12

Sorry to hear you're being treated this way, easier said than done but you need to LTB, find yourself, your own interests etc then one day find yourself someone who loves you for you

CherryBathBomb Mon 02-Dec-19 01:29:15

Tell him to 'chill'

outherealone Mon 02-Dec-19 01:39:48

Ugh get rid.

Opentooffers Mon 02-Dec-19 01:49:23

What a weird ' thing' you have - I don't know what to call it. I worry for you as he does to have a reason to be with you which is clear-netflix, whereas you are complaining about him but need to ask others what to do when the answer is easy and obvious. If he's been like this for 1.5 years then you have big problems. Hopefully, you are finding out that attraction is not where a relationship ends, it's a start, but how you are treated is the crux of it. You can't make someone treat you better, you need to set a standard and bin if they don't meet it.

trixiebelden77 Mon 02-Dec-19 03:28:26

He’s a jerk.

You don’t get sick from not wearing a coat.

Both of these things are true.

fit4more Mon 02-Dec-19 03:36:53

How did you even get together? He makes no effort at all! Change your Netflix password and don’t contact him again. Do it as an experiment. See how long it takes before he actually bothers to contact you.

BikeRunSki Mon 02-Dec-19 03:40:38

Why are you with him?

glsgow107 Mon 02-Dec-19 03:43:42

😂😂 this isn't real.

NearlyOutedMyself Mon 02-Dec-19 03:58:54

Sounds fun. Your friend isn't nice leaving you stranded either.

AgentJohnson Mon 02-Dec-19 06:21:56

You’ve done a good job at detailing why he’s an unsuitable bf but given one inexplicable reason why you stay, Stockholm Syndrome, really 🙄.

I suggest you spend more time working on why you have such low expectations than trying to get someone who clearly doesn’t give a crap to care about you.

The balls in your court and not his.

coatlessinspokane Mon 02-Dec-19 06:33:19

You sound a tad dramatic with your manipulative “do you want a sick girlfriend?” tactic but the rest of the stuff, yep he’s a jerk who’s not that into you.

Being single won’t kill you

RantyAnty Mon 02-Dec-19 06:40:29

You really can do without this twat.
Schedule something fun to do on the weekends like an drawing class or something so you will have something to do besides think about this loser.

Sit down and add up all the money you've wasted on this pos and plan something in 6 months to do for yourself with all the money you've saved. Start a savings account for it.

Then delete him and block him and change your Netflix password.

readingismycardio Mon 02-Dec-19 06:43:13

Wtf, OP, you can't be for real. Just ghost him & change netflix password, he's not even worth a conversation. Why would anyone stay
In this "relationship", it beats me, you get nothing out of it.

Egghead68 Mon 02-Dec-19 06:44:06

Um, what are you doing with him?

afterme Mon 02-Dec-19 07:02:05

I wouldn’t call that a relationship. You don’t even have to end it or leave him. Just don’t get the train and metro next week.

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