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(14 Posts)
Frances123456 Sun 01-Dec-19 22:05:19

I am considering divorce. Last year I pick up ( through various incidents) that my husband ( of 25 yrs) was seeing a woman when I was at work. He denied it. Although the affair is over ( I think) I still think about it a lot. I cannot trust him now. He has told a few people including my son ( 22 yrs old) that I am " loopy". My son and daughter ( a bit younger)still live at home. My husband has some health problems and does not work. I want to divorce him but feel I cannot leave when I have adult children still at home.
Advice please?

pog100 Sun 01-Dec-19 22:16:33

? Why do adult children at home affect your decision? Surely they should be independent of both of you by now? Just get out now.

category12 Sun 01-Dec-19 22:17:30

Go ahead and divorce him and don't cover up for him with the adult children any more. Cheeky bastard.

Your kids are grown, what stage are you waiting for to end things? They might still be living with you for years in this economy.

Frances123456 Mon 02-Dec-19 11:16:30

Thank you for your replies
The problems are that my husband is in poor health, with arthritis. My children are not working and my son is studying at home.

Frances123456 Tue 03-Dec-19 07:27:45

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

Frances123456 Fri 06-Dec-19 15:42:06

I wondered if anyone had been in a situation where they felt they had to stay with a husband due to his health problems but were unhappy and distrusted him? Thanks for advice/ your stories

champagneandfromage50 Fri 06-Dec-19 15:48:54

Nope and health problems or not didn’t stop him having an affair and then mock you to others including your DC. Why would you eat to stay?

Hellohah Fri 06-Dec-19 15:52:09

I haven't been in this situation, but any loyalty to this man (because of his health issues) should surely be redundant now, as he's shown no loyalty to you.

Your adult children are old enough to understand why you are divorcing and should be able to accept that you are not desserting your husband because of his health problems, but because he is a cheat and you can't forgive that.

lifeisgoodagain Fri 06-Dec-19 16:06:00


Adult kids do complicate things, I would like to sell and move but she needs a home, we promised her a home when she chose to stay for university, she wasn't to know her dad would walk out on me.

Zzzz19 Fri 06-Dec-19 16:31:18

You can either carry on being miserable or do a something about it. I know what I would be doing and in fact I did do. You just sometimes have to be brave!

Blushingm Fri 06-Dec-19 16:41:49

He can't be that poorly if he can't have an affair

Just because he's in health doesn't mean you have to stay

Ilovethekitties Fri 06-Dec-19 19:02:57

His health cant be that bad if he is still able to shag someone behind your back. And in your kindness in wanting to be with him because of his health, what are you getting in return? You're not a carer, you're a woman who deserves to be loved.

Let the other woman become his slave and you work on you.

Frances123456 Sun 08-Dec-19 06:32:54

Thanks for peoples advice. My 21 yr old daughter is not well at present ( glandular fever post infection ). but once she is better, I will think about leaving. Ideally when she is working again.

Nicolastuffedone Sun 08-Dec-19 06:54:56

His arthritis didn’t stop him having an affair! Tell your children exactly why you’re leaving, and get this ‘loopy’ talk stopped right now.

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