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EVERYTHING dh does irritates me atm and we bicker constantly - anyone got any uplifting stories to share?

(8 Posts)
emkana Tue 21-Aug-07 20:08:16

atm I would pack my bags and leave if it wasn't for the children.

Pages Tue 21-Aug-07 20:16:47

Been there.

It will pass, and then you will be in love again.

That's married life IMO.

stickyj Tue 21-Aug-07 20:19:00

Put it this way, mu DH, my dad with dementia and two of our four kids are going away on Saturday. I'm not, because I can't stand them, (bad mother thread)
they all do my head in and I just want some peace and quiet from the "sniping"!. I can't believe it, can you imagine if I'd atarted a thread saying, " I really can't stand my kids at the mo and my dh is pising me off totally". What's worse is my horrible kids have said that the holiday would be much better without me (including dh under his breath) and that I should stay at home and have some "quality" time. What I want to do is get my business stuff ready for Sept, clear the house and start Sept 6th with a clean sheet.

Have you any stuff outside kids/family that you do together or does he piss you off bigtime? Try and be a couple first and see how it dh irritates me about eating habits, so much so I run upstairs to our bedroom to watch TV.You sound stressed for other reasons..could it be he's taking the fall for those?

Dadsnet, come in here and state your case 'cos I know from experience that sometimes (not a generalisation) that we ladies sometimes heap the blame on you guys because you're there, patient and expected to take the blame.

Pages Tue 21-Aug-07 20:22:46

Sorry, that wasn't really an uplifting story.
But I have been through stages like that with DH and then something (usually him admitting he's been an arse and showing his vulnerable side!) brings us back to being close again.

What are you bickering about and how long has it been going on?

Pages Tue 21-Aug-07 20:27:33

Oh yes, Sticky, my DH criticises me for chomping too loudly. But I am intolerant and a nag for complaining when his snoring and scratching wakes me.

emkana Tue 21-Aug-07 20:27:59

It started with me going to Germany, I didn't see him for nearly a month and since being back 10 days ago I feel homesick for Germany and we bicker about trivia all the time.

Atm it feels like we have nothing in common.

I do feel quite tired generally - have three children, one with SN.

pages, I did find your post uplifting, good to hear that there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

Pages Tue 21-Aug-07 20:38:44

I think you know I too have a child with SN Emkana and it is hard work at times, both physically and emotionally. It has definitely placed a strain on our relationship at times (mostly me having to comfort DH who still doesn't entirely accept it), but at other times it makes us even more of a unit, us against the world type of thing.

Did you go to Germany with the children or alone?

Sounds to me like you have had a taste of freedom and he is maybe a bit resentful and also worried that you may have discovered the joys of inependence and it is coming out in other ways? You are also adjusting to being back together and having to compromise again when you have both not been answerable to anyone else.

IMO there is often a subtex going on with guys, they rarely say what is really going on for them(because they don't know half the time). Sorry to any men reading this if that's a generalisation.

For the record, me and DH were separated for a bit earlier in the year because of some work on our house and for the first month I loved it and enjoyed my freedom but by the end of the second I had definietly remembered what loneliness was like and the pitfalls of being single. We had a similar bickering stage when I moved back - I remember it felt really weird for a while.

emkana Tue 21-Aug-07 21:17:04

Thanks pages.

We're going away soon (all of us), am hoping v. much taht that will improve matters.

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