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DH covert narcissist

(7 Posts)
GwenMalone Tue 19-Nov-19 10:20:11

I am having difficulties with my DH and his lack of respect for me and also not treating me or our DC as a priority. I have just read up on covert narcissism and he really fits the criteria. I don't know what to do. Has anyone experienced being married to a covert Narcissist.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 19-Nov-19 10:21:54

It is not possible to have a relationship with a narcissist in any event.

Have you thought about seeking legal advice with a view to divorce?. What do you want to teach your children about relationships and what are they learning here?.

12345kbm Tue 19-Nov-19 11:45:41

I don't think labelling people is very helpful. In my opinion, what's helpful to know is his behaviour and how it affects you and the children. If he's abusive or shirking his parental responsibilities and is disrespecting you and not listening to your concerns, then I'm not sure what choice you have. You either carry on as you are, miserable, unloved and unlistened to or you get legal advice pending divorce.

Check out the CABx guide to divorce and separation: www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/ending-a-relationship/how-to-separate/deciding-what-to-do-when-you-separate/

Have a look at the Gingerbread website as well, as they have lots of information on becoming a single parent. www.gingerbread.org.uk/

Women's Aid have a quiz as a quick guide as to whether your relationship might be abusive that you might find useful: www.womensaid.org.uk/the-survivors-handbook/am-i-in-an-abusive-relationship/ Although, even if you don't check all the boxes, it doesn't meant a relationship isn't abusive. It's very personal; an intimidating look, a gesture, a sigh of contempt. If you feel put down, demeaned, humiliated, on tender hooks, judged, criticised, ignored, then you need to get out. You need to show your children what a kind, loving, supportive home is so they feel loved and secure.

mrsjackrussell Mon 02-Dec-19 23:33:31

Hi, yes I think my dh is a covert narcissist. Iv only just realised and iv been married to him 23 years. He has got worse since iv been ill and has made my life hell with angry outbursts.
He's a very angry irritated man and iv realised very self absorbed.
He's always cracking jokes about me or other people and I can't tell if he's joking or not because of the things he says and he says it seriously then says he's joking. He makes me feel like crap and I can't believe iv only just realised all of this through councilling iv had the last few years.

75Renarde Tue 03-Dec-19 09:47:19

Can you be a bit more specific, OP?

MakeMineALargeProsecco Tue 03-Dec-19 11:14:38

I think mine does too, or should I say soon-to-be-ex.

He definitely has narcissistic traits: incredibly self-centred, no respect for people, low empathy, completely unable to understand the impact of his behaviour on others (eg him having an affair on me) or accept responsibility for it.

MakeMineALargeProsecco Tue 03-Dec-19 13:15:09

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ie/blog/communication-success/201601/7-signs-covert-introvert-narcissist

Sound familiar to anyone?

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