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Worst day ever. How to get over this!

(179 Posts)
Blogger373 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:05:00

After a 2 year long relationship, my boyfriend has ended things via text.

He was previously a married man with children and has decided being with me would affect the relationship he has with his teenage kids, and they would never forgive him for being with the woman who he had left their mother for. So I do understand his reasoning.

Long story short , I am utterly devastated and feel as if I will never get over this man. I have been crying and vomiting for the last 3 days, and have had to take time off work.

I have had break ups in the past but this is just something else. I need to get over this and feel normal again, any advice/tips are so warmly welcome x

PollyFeather Mon 18-Nov-19 20:10:08

Are you young?

It sounds trite, but you'll get over it. It just takes time. If he was having an affair with you whilst married, it didn't bode well for your future together anyway so try and view it as a lucky escape

PS I'll warn you that you're going to get some posters who may not be kind to you as you were having an affair with a married man. I make no judgments on that but just a warning to maybe put your hard hat on

Startingoveragain1 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:19:54

Hey, that sounds like a massive excuse to me... so... taking that as a starting point: Stop thinking this has anything to do with you. If he was that interested he would be trying to explain the situation to his kids and bring u all together in time. Now, he cheated on his ex with u? Sucks but you do know what he is capable of. We all like to think we are the one to change a man but thats never the case.. its gonna hurt, its gonna suck but u will get over it and u will find someone with clearer ideas that doesn't need to rely on deceit or lame excuses to move through life. He is a twat that cheated on the mother of his children and them used and hurt the next woman in line. He will do it again. Just make sure youre not around for it. U will be ok in time.

Bluerussian Mon 18-Nov-19 20:20:40

I feel sorry for you, Blogger. Has he gone back to his ex or is he on his own?

Life is shit sometimes but it won't always be.

StrongerWithoutYou62 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:21:24

Distraction and time, if may sound trite but if you can find the right thing to take your mind of the breakup things will ease a little. Whatever will take your mind away from it for a while. Things that have helped me in the past. Starting a book/TV series you've wanted to start for ages, throwing myself into a new fitness program or into work/study. Planning and doing an activity/trip/new hobby you love but your X wouldnt do. If you find you're struggling to cope longer term it might be worth getting counselling to work through it.

Bluntness100 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:22:19

That was cruel of him op, to do it via text, but I agree it is an excuse. Sometimes relationships don't work for one or both people, and he's decided he wants out.

It will pass. It really is just about time.

inwood Mon 18-Nov-19 20:24:31

So were you OW?

Screamqueenz Mon 18-Nov-19 20:24:46

Break ups are hard, whatever the circumstances.

He doesn't sound like a good man, so you may have dodged a bullet. It's not helpful right now, but time is a healer.

Be kind to yourself.

BrokenLogs Mon 18-Nov-19 20:26:34

Try imagining how his DW felt and that might put some perspective on it.

MsRomanoff Mon 18-Nov-19 20:27:13

How long has it been since he left his wife.

I get its painful OP. But he cheated on his wife and left her for someone else. Him treating you badly, was probably going to happen.

You can do better.

FabbyChix Mon 18-Nov-19 20:27:23

He was never yours to have. You was never going to be accepted and his kids come first. You’re reaping what you sew

Bluntness100 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:27:24

So were you OW?

Eh, what part of her being the woman he left his wife for is confusing you? hmm

Shookethtothecore Mon 18-Nov-19 20:29:02

You were in a relationship with a married man. You knew his morals when you got with him.

JoyceJeffries Mon 18-Nov-19 20:33:59

Are you sure he left his wife in the first place?

MarianaMoatedGrange Mon 18-Nov-19 20:34:05

Yes you now know how his ex wife felt. I think he's found someone else or on the lookout.

onthecoins Mon 18-Nov-19 20:36:19

I imagine that's probably how his wife felt when he cheated on her.

AnyFucker Mon 18-Nov-19 20:37:43

He's enjoying recruiting into the vacancy I expect

All's fair (as they say)

ConfCall Mon 18-Nov-19 20:39:02

Tbh I think it’s an excuse OP. That sort of person doesn’t put their children’s wishes first. He’s either got bored, or met someone else, and is too cowardly to tell you the truth.

Anyway, forget him and aim higher next time. You’ll be fine, really.

Daisy7654 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:40:52

At least you don't have two kids like she was left with! Maybe this will teach you to have some empathy.

HundredMilesAnHour Mon 18-Nov-19 20:42:02

That's karma I guess.

LynetteScavo Mon 18-Nov-19 20:42:04

Maybe you could ask his ex how she got over him when he left her for you.

Thankful2020 Mon 18-Nov-19 20:43:57

Aw hun played with fire and got burnt? I’m sure you didn’t see that coming, did you? Poor wife

madcatladyforever Mon 18-Nov-19 20:46:41

He doesn't really care about you or his wife OP, he is just doing what makes him feel happy I'm afraid.
You will realise in time that it was a lucky escape.

madcatladyforever Mon 18-Nov-19 20:47:33

Also what a pathetic coward ending it by text!!!

TheTickingTime Mon 18-Nov-19 20:47:54

Has he lined up another womanined up? I mean he has form, just saying. I am sorry you are going through this though

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