So, I have been posting here about my woman crush and how I have finally realised that I am gay.
Since I am confused AF and don't know what to do - here I come to ask for advice. I somehow sense that the general response will be - divorce. But I need to hear it..
We've been married for 10 years and have 2 DC in primary school. I work part time.
Our marriage has been ok - ups and downs but overall fine. Two years ago my DH had a depression that lasted until very recently. It was damn hard. He was often aggressive, shouty and very hard to live with.
Last year I found texts on his phone -he texted another woman from his work. It's been going on for a while. He even bought her Christmas present. I don't know what else happened. Anyway, I confronted him and he apologised, sweared to stop and sweared that nothing happened between them.
He also texts and flirts with some other women from his work but he claims they are just friends.
Last year I fell for another woman. It's been horrible for me. Eventually it hit me that I am gay as I really like women and not that into men .. I posted here on MN and my DH found and read all. So I had to admit I am gay (or bi? who knows..). In all fairness, my DH behaved so kindly towards me. We talked a lot and he said he loves me more that anything. He said that if I really think I am not happy with him, he will let me go. But it would break his heart. Stuff like that.. I must say - he snapped out of his depression, has changed - does not scream at me anymore and is a loving, lovely DH. He has become quite needy - e.g. -demands I text him I love him every day. But for me - so much damage has been done to my feelings to him, I don't know if I can find my way back to him.
Anyway - whilst all this was happening and he was claiming he loves me - he was texting yet another woman from his work. He confessed they went out few times but nothing happened. He says he needs love and attention from someone as I am not giving him enough. So he is still in contact with her. He put a pin on his phone so I can't check it. He swears he loves me so much that he could never actually cheat on me.
We actually are a great team. We think alike, finish each others sentences, we are best friends.
This is such a mess.. Should I leave him? Is my judgement clouded because of my crush? Am I stupid for believing him that he hasn't slept with anyone else? Is there any point staying married? Shall I leave just because I am gay? It feels so hard to break what seems like a good family.. I have nowhere to go if I leave..
Any advice, please.
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Relationships
DH texting other women, I am gay - I am laughing as I'm writing this..
KirstyHasLeft · 16/11/2019 13:50
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