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My husband has celebrated my anniversary with his friends

(155 Posts)
Alakazam89 Tue 12-Nov-19 16:23:27

Hi this is my first time posting. I am foaming I live in Spain and my husband has had to go to the uk for work so I am in Spain with my 3 year old son who is ill with bad flu and my 9 month old daughter also ill with flu and I am ill too. Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary and my husband who went to visit his cousin today got offered to go to the restaurant we used for our wedding day and he said yes so whilst I was talking to him he casually drops in noname offers me to go out for dinner on him so I sed yes and told me where they where. He knew it was our anniversary and I am foaming how can he possibly think that I would be fine with him going to our wedding restaurant for dinner on our anniversary with his cousin and her bf whilst I am hear and when I complained he said what do you want me to do sit at my mam's and look at the wall to be honest I thought yes compared to that that's exactly what you should be doing I am soooo angry am I in the wrong?

elmosducks Tue 12-Nov-19 16:26:22

You are in different countries. He is probably reminiscing about his wonderful bride. It's not his fault you aren't having the best day.
Let him enjoy it

elmosducks Tue 12-Nov-19 16:27:21

Ps: I hope that you all feel better soon

PrettyPurse Tue 12-Nov-19 16:28:42

YABU and riding

HappyDinosaur Tue 12-Nov-19 16:28:56

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to be honest, it's just a restaurant, an anniversary and his family. I'm sure he'd much rather be there with you! I do understand how you can feel a bit put out though, it must be hard being without him, looking after the kids , being tired and not being able to celebrate together. Why don't you book somewhere nice for when he gets back so you can look forward to it? Whereabouts in Spain are you? I know some lovely restaurants I could reccommend.

PrettyPurse Tue 12-Nov-19 16:29:02


onanothertrain Tue 12-Nov-19 16:29:44

Yes, I think you are in the wrong. While it's rubbish that you are at home with ill children on your anniversary, your DH is in another country. Do you expect him to sit in and be miserable just because you are fuming?

BlastEndedSkrewt Tue 12-Nov-19 16:30:01

YABU - you sound quite jealous

RavenLG Tue 12-Nov-19 16:30:09

Hmm it seems that this isn’t about the restaurant. Is it more that you’ve moved to another country (presumably for his job?) you’ve no family and support close by, now he is getting to swan back to the uk on the work dime, see friends and have a lovely time while you’re stuck in another country, holding the babies and feeling homesick?

Alakazam89 Tue 12-Nov-19 16:30:37

Thank you smile but I still think he could of went anywhere but there and he knew that it was going to upset me and that's y he dropped it in the conversation not actually told me he could of went anywhere else or just said no

theboxfamilytree Tue 12-Nov-19 16:30:42

You're foaming? confused

BaronessBomburst Tue 12-Nov-19 16:32:02

You are being a bit ridiculous expecting him to sit and stare at the wall.
It was insensitive of him to have gone to your special restaurant without you though.
It's crap being ill with children to look after.
Is there anyone you can ask to help?
I hope you feel better in the morning.

crustycrab Tue 12-Nov-19 16:32:03

YABU. Seriously. He must be walking on eggshells around you. What a nice gesture from his cousin, thoughtful.

FiveStoryFire Tue 12-Nov-19 16:32:07

YABU. Why don't you want him to have a nice time?

crustycrab Tue 12-Nov-19 16:33:09

@BaronessBomburst why was he insensitive? If OP was there he'd be taking her with him.

Shoxfordian Tue 12-Nov-19 16:34:32

He's in another country for work

Alakazam89 Tue 12-Nov-19 16:36:31

The wall thing was just a joke Ur taking it to serious I do think that staying in at his mams with his brothers instead of going out is not much to ask and trust me there is no eggshell in my relationship

BumbleBeee69 Tue 12-Nov-19 16:38:58

you sound quite jealous

What a pointless statement hmm

AmIThough Tue 12-Nov-19 16:40:40

Tell him to FaceTime you from the restaurant and it'll feel like you're there with him

highheelsandweathercocks Tue 12-Nov-19 16:42:51

Honestly? You need to get a grip. And it's quite telling that you consistently call it 'my anniversary'. It's his too.
He's in a different country to you and you don't think you're asking too much of him to stay in the house.
Controlling much?

merryhouse Tue 12-Nov-19 16:43:09

I think you are being a teeny bit unreasonable, probably because you're ill and stressed.

However, he was a bit of a git to tell you where they'd gone.

Alakazam89 Tue 12-Nov-19 16:45:30

Yes I am jealous that my husband who reminds me about our anniversary a week in advance is at our wedding restaurant 3 years later with his cousin and her bf no one see this as a kick in the teeth he has the full of Newcastle and he picks that one place when he has plenty other places to go a simple no would not of killed him and not upset me did he even thin k of me when he said yes ? And he knew it would upset me that's y he never told me he dropped it in the middle of a conversation instead of just saying and I was talking to him and within 20 mins he went from someone house to the restaurant and didn't mention it untill he was there

Dilkhush Tue 12-Nov-19 16:51:13

You are totally overthinking this. Get your favourite food delivered, look at your wedding pics, Skype your DH and remember a lovely day.

crustycrab Tue 12-Nov-19 16:52:42

Why would it upset you though? Aren't you glad it holds nice memories for him, makes him feel closer to you maybe?

Why do you want him to stay in and do nothing?

Why is it a problem he remembered your anniversary a week ago?

You might not think there's any walking on eggshells going on but I bet he does.

HappilyHarridan Tue 12-Nov-19 16:52:48

Oh dear, just let it go. If you have an otherwise happy marriage this is just not an issue.

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