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My Divorce (don’t know what to make of it )

(5 Posts)
Mollyalone Sat 09-Nov-19 08:16:06

Hi,
I’m after opinions/ advice really.
My exh left me in 2016 out of the blue and yes for OW( same old weary story)
He started divorce proceedings 3years after he left in January this year.
He was on the ball with the petition and I read, signed and returned the petition all within an hour of receiving in the post.
He applied for Decree Nisi on time and that was read in court on May 16th this year.
So Decree Absolute could of been applied for at the end of June.
I Still haven’t heard a peep and I have enquired and I have to wait the original 43 days from nisi and a further 3 months until I can apply for it myself.
Why would he get this far to just drag his heels now
We have long ago sold the marital home and completely parted ways, I haven’t seen him for 3 years, we just send the odd email when the need arises about out adult ds.
I just don’t get it really why come this far and now delay the final cut.
I don’t want to ask him what’s happening with it as any contact we have seems to send me on a downward spiral and rake up all the hurt and bad feelings again(I’m a coward I know)
If he’s having second thoughts I really don’t care as I would never go there again but in my private thoughts there’s this little voice saying
“Well maybe he has made a mistake “
Thanks for listening and any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sat 09-Nov-19 08:21:17

My advice would be to ignore the fact that he hasn't applied for the absolute and apply for it yourself as soon as you legally can.

category12 Sat 09-Nov-19 08:25:10

Um, I "dragged my heels" with applying for the Absolute because I had a lot going on at the time (funerals etc). it wasn't because I had changed my mind, it's just that it had dropped in my list of priorities for that time.

WitsEnding Sat 09-Nov-19 08:25:52

Strictly speaking you should get a financial consent order signed before the absolute to prevent either of you being able to claim from the other in the future.
It sounds as if you can apply now, though. Would you feel better making that step for yourself, rather than passively waiting for him?

Thingsdogetbetter Sat 09-Nov-19 09:21:45

OW or new gf pushed for commitmemt and divorce. He jumped to it. OW or new gf dumped idiot. Idiot now sees no advantage for himself by making effort to finish divorce so idiot does nothing cos idiot is selfish and lazy.

Simples.

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