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If you met online dating, how long did it take to find each other?

(68 Posts)
AbsolutelyDishwater Fri 08-Nov-19 19:52:47

I’ve been online dating a year, on and off.

Met one person I was excited about but he had taken a job in the US the day before we first met, so it didn’t go anywhere!

I’ve been on a lot of dates and had a lot of chats. So fed up and feel like it’s never ending. They all seem really keen and I even if I give it a go for a few dates, I soon lose interest. On the wrong side of 35 too so feel like time isn’t on my side.

People say it’s a numbers game but really how many more do I need to meet!!

mynameisMrG Fri 08-Nov-19 19:53:48

My DH was the first person I had a message from on the first day of signing up to a particular website.
I’d done a year on a different one and had a couple of short term things. Have you tried other sites?

AbsolutelyDishwater Fri 08-Nov-19 19:58:52

I’ve tried 3. I’m just so sick of it but the chances of meeting someone in real life are almost zero and I do shift work and have no spare time really

LividLaughLove Fri 08-Nov-19 19:59:03

ELEVEN. LONG. YEARS!

And worth every moment.

FenellaMaxwell Fri 08-Nov-19 20:01:31

About 6 weeks?

Chocolate123 Fri 08-Nov-19 20:02:52

About 2 years in total deleted and re installed many times

AbsolutelyDishwater Fri 08-Nov-19 20:03:11

Why is it taking me so long! I feel like I’ve put in a good amount of effort, alongside keeping my own single life together and building that, so I have a good job and a nice home even if I never find someone!. It’s just draining.

GeraldineFangedVagine Fri 08-Nov-19 20:04:09

About 12 weeks, and we got married last year. I had one short fling and ten one off dates in the three months though.

Pukeworthy Fri 08-Nov-19 20:04:18

About a year.

AbsolutelyDishwater Fri 08-Nov-19 20:05:23

I have a date around once every two weeks. In between that I message people and keep swiping

GeraldineFangedVagine Fri 08-Nov-19 20:10:56

I think you have to persevere. I firmly believe there is someone for everyone. I worked on just going on dates as something to do rather than hoping to start a relationship. I just wanted to meet people and have fun really. That meant when I met my wife there was no pressure and I was relaxed and not stressy (not suggesting you are by the way). She was doing the same thing. I had fun doing online dating, but I had not that long come out of a 14 year relationship, so actually I wasn’t looking for one anyway. I think maybe my advice is really pointless and rubbish grin

AbsolutelyDishwater Fri 08-Nov-19 20:15:05

Any advice is appreciated!

Maybe I’m not meeting enough people. It’s so frustrating. I do want to settle down but with someone I really really like, not just anyone who will tick a box! I don’t expect it to be perfect but I haven’t even met someone I had a flicker of a spark with (except the one who ended up leaving for a job)

GeraldineFangedVagine Fri 08-Nov-19 20:18:49

I think you are right, definitely don’t settle. I worried about that, because I didn’t want to be alone after being in a relationship so long, I wasn’t sure about being on my own. I actually talked through it with a therapist as I didn’t want to make the same mistakes again. She actually cautioned me to take things slow with my now wife, but I ignored that lol. Again, my advice is all rubbish!

SophomoreFlunk Fri 08-Nov-19 20:39:41

I'm in the same position, down to not meeting men at work. I'm 33 and been trying on and off for the last five years. There were two men I liked but one didn't feel the same one and the other turned out to be an arsehole.

Fingers crossed for us both. It's crap.

Ilovethekitties Fri 08-Nov-19 20:42:10

My DP was the first man I met on tinder and we just clicked.

Currently 4 years together with our own home and our first baby due in three weeks. I never thought I would find a love like this and I'm so unbelievably happy.

Good luck in your search OP, maybe meet someone a little different to your type (if you have one), as you might be pleasantly surprised - I was!.

LuckySeventhWave Fri 08-Nov-19 20:49:27

2 months. Then he turned up outside my house and I hadn’t even told him where I lived. This was 2002, before social media and everything being connected. No idea how he found out where I lived.

It went on to be 7 years of DV. Warning sign right there at the very start.

bobbetybob Fri 08-Nov-19 20:52:37

About 3 months but I didn't click with anyone else and he's the only one I met In Person. We've been together 15 years married 10. From friends experiences though I think we are highly unusual- you have to kiss a lot of frogs as the saying goes!

minesadecaf Fri 08-Nov-19 20:54:46

First guy I'd had a message from. It went like this: Messages started on Thursday, phone call on Sunday, first date on Tuesday. That was nearly eight years, a wedding, a house and two kids ago!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation Fri 08-Nov-19 21:01:38

Fucking hell Lucky that's really scary!

I really blame the whole genre of "romance" movies for making women fall for this kind of shit. They make the whole "oh he followed her home and then played music at her when she'd told him to leave her alone" seem to be ROMANTICE and PROOF OF TRU LUV when in fact the protagonist should be calling the police.

OP - I found my ex within a week, but that was on a site specifically for FWB situations. My experiences with "mainstream" dating sites have not been so positive. But I'm now at the point where I don't want someone to move in or marry or settle down with - so I haven't had active dating profiles for a good couple of years.

There's a dating thread on this board somewhere, I think the current one says something about "cuffing optional" in the thread title!

Ibizafun Fri 08-Nov-19 21:10:33

2 years but I dated someone else within that time. I know from friends how hard it is online now. I just think for once in my life I was lucky.

Kaykay06 Fri 08-Nov-19 21:28:32

Taken me a good few years, kissed a few frogs but he’s amazing 9 months in still fabulous so can happen hope it does for you soon too

beth821 Fri 08-Nov-19 21:32:00

2 to 3 years and a hell load of dates. I really think it is a numbers game and totally worth it in the end. Take time off if you get fatigue but keep going. Good luck x

HarrietOh Fri 08-Nov-19 21:32:07

4 years to find the guy I am dating currently, dated a few guys of varying lengths in that time. It’s bloody hard! My best friend has been trying on and off for 5 years but she really doesn’t like OLD.

MadamShazam Fri 08-Nov-19 21:40:54

I met my parter online, i'd been on it for about 6 months, and had a few dates, but was thinking of coming off it for a while. And there he was, with very sweet and gentlemanly message! We talked online for a few weeks, then had our first date, moved in together after 5 months, and have now been together for 8 years. And we have a 6 year old daughter. There are many weirdos and chancers online, but don't be put off, there are some genuine guys out there looking for the right person! ❤

MadamShazam Fri 08-Nov-19 21:42:14

Oh and I was 34 when i first joined online dating, and was never short of offers. And i don't consider myself to be particularly beautiful or anything, i was just honest about who I was and what I was looking for.

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