Talk

Advanced search

My boyfriend still hasn't told his mum we're back together

(18 Posts)
ALittleBitWorried1983 Fri 08-Nov-19 14:11:30

I've been back with the father of my child for around two-three weeks after a month apart. His mum is pretty overbearing and doesn't particularly like me - when my boyfriend broke up with me he had told her lots of negative things about me. However, since announcing my pregnancy, she has been overly nice to me, offering to buy me things, asking how I am, being SO thankful for any photos etc, just too nice.

But I know she would be furious if she found out we were back together.

My parents are aware (we're 24 and 27) but he just won't tell his mum. He lies about where he's going, if he barely stays over because he doesn't want her to ask questions, and when he did once say he was coming to see me, she got a bit angry and asked whether we were getting back together, to which he said no.

It's getting awkward for me because his mum keeps asking me to meet up with her for coffee to chat about how she and her family can help me with the baby, and saying things like how my son is going to have two families who love him, and all this stuff acting as if we're seperated.

I can't carry on these conversations or meet up with her and it's making me feel so uncomfortable that she's talking to me as if me and the baby's dad are still seperated.

I know, it sounds like an episode of Eastenders and I really wish it didn't. I'm a very straight up honest person and luckily have very supportive parents, and I just hate all this running around like teenagers and lying when I am four months pregnant and wanting to focus on settling down with my family.

RLEOM Fri 08-Nov-19 14:34:44

Why on earth has he not told her yet? He needs to get some strength and tell her, especially seeing as you have children together.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 08-Nov-19 14:53:09

Oh blimey - another spineless mummy's boy.
Why are you back with him?
He isn't even adult enough to tell his mum.
He hasn't cut the apron strings and likely won't.
Don't accept this crap.
You either go together this weekend and tell his family or he can fuck off.
Who needs this drama?
You are 4 months pregnant and he is supposed to be an adult with his own mind. He is old enough to make his own choices without mummy's approval.
He mans up or fucks off!

rvby Fri 08-Nov-19 15:30:09

I remember you OP. It seems you have name changed but I recognise you nonetheless.

Your mental health is poor...
This guy has ghosted you multiple times while you are pregnant...
His mum was pressuring you into aborting... it seemed in all your threads he was very much in favour of mum's suggestion, hence him ghosting you constantly.

Can you not read the writing on the wall here? This isn't going to work. Stop wasting energy on this guy and what he is or isn't doing. If you want to be a good mum you need to focus on the CHILD and not the man-child.

aweedropofsancerre Fri 08-Nov-19 15:33:38

rvby I thought it was the same person too. But the last thread she hadn’t told her DP she was back with this dead beat.

Wildorchidz Fri 08-Nov-19 15:40:10

You know you are going to be a single parent don’t you?

ALittleBitWorried1983 Fri 08-Nov-19 15:45:38

I'm fine with the idea of being a single parent. I think I'm at the end of my tether with it all now anyway.

Theresa45 Sat 09-Nov-19 07:09:58

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Soconfusedandlost Sat 09-Nov-19 08:13:18

I don't wish to sound rude but I think this is a continuation of other yhreads

He ghosted her several times
His mum tried to pressure into abortion
He was then with someone new but wouldn't tell new girl about the baby
His mum then started acting nice and wanted to see the baby
Then he got back together and she couldn't tell her parents

Is this all the same person or am I mistaking some of the threads?

ALittleBitWorried1983 Sat 09-Nov-19 13:11:32

@soconfusedandlost you are mistaking some of the threads.

Soconfusedandlost Sat 09-Nov-19 15:21:14

Apologies. Sometimes I get them confused

dontgobaconmyheart Sat 09-Nov-19 15:37:54

Why's he putting you in this position Nyway OP? He sounds wet as anything. I'd just have told her myself when she commented to be honest. I don't know why you're living your life in service of trying to back up his lies and desperate desires to please his mummy.

She's being nice because she wants to see her grandchild, obviously she doesn't want you with her son or she wouldn't be trying to reiterate to you all the time that it's over. She just wants the contact with the grandchild OP and is manipulating the situation so as to buy herself what she wants. She sounds like a dick and so does he really, are you sure you are really back together? Or is he just telling you that because he wants to see his child?

No idea about previous threads OP but with or workout them, they all sound awful and I'd take back some control and stop letting people that treat you badly dictate what your life looks like.

florenceflossie Sat 09-Nov-19 17:37:49

I remember you too Op.

Men like this don't change.

What are his good qualities ? 🤔

PicsInRed Sat 09-Nov-19 17:53:17

His mum was pressuring you into aborting..

Oh, FFS, I just flaming knew it was the same poster.

OP, he's abusive and so is his mother ... he gets it from her. You NEED distance from all of these people in order to have a healthy pregnancy and to reduce the chance of PPD. I can virtually guarantee you that these cunts will deliberately drive your mental health into the ground then use the result of their own work to attempt to take that child (who they see as their genetic possession) from you through family court.

Been there, got the t-shirt (they failed...but it cost me a fortune in legal costs).

Don't have him at medical appointments, don't have him at the birth, don't put him on the birth certificate (it imparts instant legal rights, which him and his family can use to take the child and not return it ... you would need to apply to court for return). If he's keen, he can apply for PR through family court.

Please listen to those of us who benefitted and suffered from experience. We see and know because we've walked in your shoes.

Go home to your own family. flowers

MsDogLady Sun 10-Nov-19 04:28:14

OP, I also commented on your other thread. Your boyfriend lives with his mother and is greatly influenced by her. Both of them have mistreated you, and he has left you high and dry several times during your pregnancy.

His current failure to inform his mother that you are back together is further evidence of his immaturity and refusal to commit. He will always dance to his mother’s tune. Why on earth would you expose yourself and your child to this toxicity?

Rosehip345 Sun 10-Nov-19 04:31:39

He needs to grow a backbone!

Aquamarine1029 Sun 10-Nov-19 04:38:46

Why do you keep posting about the same exact thing? You've already been given loads of good advice.

AmIThough Sun 10-Nov-19 05:45:04

Just tell her yourself

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »