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Would you dump him for lying he had a job?

(57 Posts)
ploddyttt Thu 10-Oct-19 15:21:49

I started seeing a guy for 5 months now.
He told me he worked at the airport as a baggage handler.
Didn't think anything of it,a couple of times a week he would take pics of the airport terminal and him sat in the cafe on his "break"
Anyway I found out he doesn't work at the airport he is unemployed.
So not only did he lie but he went to some extremes to make me think he had a job.
(I'm sure there's a film somewhere like this but can't remember the name)
Tbh I don't care he doesn't have a job if he is actively looking etc
I just find it creepy going to the airport to take pics etc
What would you do ?

ploddyttt Thu 10-Oct-19 15:22:38

I found out he was unemployed when I stayed at his and found his DWP claim letter

Teddybear45 Thu 10-Oct-19 15:23:38

Dump

mindutopia Thu 10-Oct-19 15:24:00

Yes. It's incredibly creepy. You have little invested at this stage, so cut your losses.

Cherrypicker01 Thu 10-Oct-19 15:24:40

Have you it confronted him about it?

madcatladyforever Thu 10-Oct-19 15:25:06

I hate liars and cock lodgers. He'd be dumped right away. There is no trust now.

HollowTalk Thu 10-Oct-19 15:25:39

Dump him. He's a liar and he's gone to lengths to lie to you, too.

ElspethFlashman Thu 10-Oct-19 15:27:33

Nooooo. Dump.

It's only 5 months, you don't owe him anything.

That's not just a little fib, that's a really organised and calculated lie.

He could easily have said after the first week "my contract has come to an end, oh well, have to look for something else now" and you'd have been none the wiser. Tbh it still would be a red flag that he was an accomplished liar, but at least it would have been a lie he got out of pronto because he didn't want to keep on lying to you because he respected you so much.

But this is just an elaborate Web of deceit. What else has he lied about that you don't know? If he can lie about a big thing he can lie about small things right to your face as easily as breathing.

It speaks to his fundamental character. Fuck that. Plenty more fish in the sea.

pinkorchid1 Thu 10-Oct-19 15:30:38

Definitely dump. This elaborate lie will be the first of many!

Idontwanttotalk Thu 10-Oct-19 15:34:47

Dump him. I cannot stand lies and deceit. If he's lied about this he'll lie about anything.

Cattenberg Thu 10-Oct-19 15:43:13

I once dated a guy who mislead me about his age, albeit without actually lying. He later came clean by himself, but I think it was because he knew he looked much younger than his actual age and couldn't resist a big reveal.

Then I found out that he'd also mislead me about his work. I thought he had a steady job, with some flexibility around working from home. It turned out that his job had ended some time before he met me and he'd moved on to agency work which had gradually dried up. He was actually unemployed.

Some months after we'd broken up, I bumped into him and he wanted to chat. I asked him where he was moving (his house was on a main road and had a prominent For Sale sign). He denied that his house was for sale and said the agent had made a mistake. His house was later sold. I have no idea why he lied about this.

I now think there were several other lies, but I have no proof. I never want to date a man like this again. If there's one lie (and one that he's gone to some trouble to maintain), then I'd expect there to be more lies, if not now, then in the future.

Rachelover60 Thu 10-Oct-19 16:05:31

Flipping heck!

Any Corrie fans may remember Deidre Barlow falling for a guy who said he had a good job at an airport. He actually worked in Tie Rack or some such place.

Yes, do dump him but it would be interesting to know why he lied and how he actually feels about his unemployed status, he could be desperately anxious. Not your problem of course but.......interesting nonetheless.

DreamingOfLivingInAChateau Thu 10-Oct-19 16:19:50

DUMP HIM NOW!!!!
you do not want someone who is that unreliable and un-truthful- especially seeing as its only at the 5 month mark!

think of it this way- would you be happy to have this happen if you were married and had a family- that he would lie about having a job?

I dumped a previous ex because he was lying about even having claimed for jobseekers- he had all this guff about applying for jobs, having applied for job seekers, turned out he was borrowing thousands from this brother, living far beyond his means, and mostl spending it on food and computer games- he was summarily dumped shortly after that when he started to manipulate me and I twigged to it-

please get rid of this man before you end up moving him in and he becomes a cocklodger!!!

PositiveVibez Thu 10-Oct-19 16:22:55

Definite potential cocklodger.

Dump. His behaviour is creepy!

user1471504234 Thu 10-Oct-19 17:12:22

I thought you were going to say you only just met him and found out that he didn’t have a job when he had said he did. Which would be bad enough. But to keep up the lie for 5 MONTHS. Dump him, he obviously has no problem lying to you.

Mightygerbil Thu 10-Oct-19 17:15:10

I agree with the dump consensus. Relationships are built on trust and from the off he has deceived you. How would you ever be able to trust what he tells you about anything else if he can do that from the start.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 10-Oct-19 17:15:36

Run. He’s a fantasist. Bizarre fantasy too...

Apolloanddaphne Thu 10-Oct-19 17:16:25

Does he know that you know?

MaryLane93 Thu 10-Oct-19 17:19:04

I had an ex who faked a job. Turned out his fake job was the least fantastical lie he came up with during that relationship, and the rest of his personality was a fiction too.

RushianDisney Thu 10-Oct-19 17:19:46

I'd find that level of deceit pretty disturbing to be honest, going out of his way to take photos to back up his lie is scary. I'd dump him and block him on everything, hopefully he won't end up being as crazy as he seems when you break up with him.

scoobydoo1971 Thu 10-Oct-19 17:20:06

Definitely abandon this man. Apart from the lies, it sounds like a possible personality disorder if he goes to such lengths to pretend to have a job role that is a work of fiction. That makes him a bit dangerous as he is capable to going to extreme lengths in lots of areas of his life. He obviously has no conscience if he lies to you about this.

Mishappening Thu 10-Oct-19 17:25:17

Can you have a serious relationship with a liar? - with someone you cannot trust?

I don't think so.

BumbleBeee69 Thu 10-Oct-19 17:34:20

Dump

Phoebesgift Thu 10-Oct-19 18:14:12

Yes I'd dump. What else has he lied about?

AutumnCrow Thu 10-Oct-19 18:20:20

A DWP claim letter for what, though?

Was it for Universal Credit? Plenty on people in work claim it.

PIP? Again, you can be in work and claim it.

What was it for?

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