Hi
I've recently posted a few threads as I'm struggling in my relationship at the moment for various reasons, one of the main reasons is something that happened a few years ago.
I had been out drinking with my sister in law when 2 guys came over chatting to us, one convinced me to put my drink down while he showed me his Australian ID. After the point everything went black, my sister in law said I literally lost the ability to speak or walk so she obviously got me home. I'm convinced I was spiked.
Looking back I would have hoped that me partner would have had the decency to put me to bed. But instead he took the opportunity to do what he wanted with me. By this point we had been together around 7 years with 2 kids. I kind of remember being sick in the bath and then he was doing whatever he wanted to me on the bathroom floor. I can't help but feel like he had no level of respect for me and I can't get over it. I feel like he shouldn't have done that. I have addressed it with him but he brushes it off. Am I over reacting or was he wrong to do that
TIA
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Relationships
Did he take advantage
Blessed23 · 10/10/2019 09:25
I don't feel like he raped me
Darling, rape is not defined by how you feel about it. You didn't (couldn't!) consent to sex, therefore he raped you. Wishing you strength to get away from him 
.
He raped you OP, I'm very sorry. You cannot consent when drugged or drunk and did not, nor did you want that to happen regardless. You're not his property to 'do what he wants with' because you are married or in a relationship and marital/domestic rape is no less of a crime. I am not surprised you are struggling with this OP; you live with someone you cannot trust not to sexually assault you at your most vulnerable. The fact you say he posters and bullies for sex merely proves who he is as a person and what he thinks of you/women.
I would report him frankly and get rid asap OP but please do go and see a counsellor to discuss this or your GP., contact womens aid- this is not normal, he is a criminal and an abuser- and that is true whether it 'feels' true or not. Emotions are complex things and they misfire often in trying to protect us from truths that are hard to digest.
That is simply dreadful, Blessed. I feel very upset for you.
Your partner DID rape you, make no mistake about that. It's hardly surprising that he tries to brush it off, he knows what he did.
From what else you say about his attitude to sex and sulking when he doesn't get it, he is certainly quite a bad man with little self control.
Like Ounce above, I too am wishing you strength to get away from him. You have children and sooner or later they are going to get the measure of the man if not all the details. You owe it to them to give them a wholesome home and family life which can be achieved without a partner.
I don't know what else to say except that I am so sorry. You'll receive plenty of support on here and I hope you have at least one good friend or family member who can prop you up in real life.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you.
When you were at your most vulnerable and needing to be taken care of - he should of been concerned about you choking on your sick / having a bad reaction to whatever you were spiked with - he instead chose to have sex with you when you were unable to either consent or stop him.
He may be your partner and father of your children but that’s still rape.
Sorry
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