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Should I Contact My Half-Sister?

(9 Posts)
halesfreeman Wed 09-Oct-19 21:10:16

I am new here and I am a teenager. When I was eleven, I found out that my father

halesfreeman Wed 09-Oct-19 21:13:23

I accidentally posted that before I was ready...
Well! My father adopted me and I have a half sister. I contacted her that night and she said she would call me back tomorrow after she got off of work. She never called me back and it has been YEARS. I have just found her facebook page and want to know if she ever thought about me, but I am scared and worried. Should I contact her?

AudTheDeepMinded Wed 09-Oct-19 21:19:43

How old was your half sister when you contacted her? Maybe she regrets not contacting you but feels she has left it too long. Maybe there were other reasons she didn't (fear of upsetting a status quo). You could try one more time but are you prepared for the possibility of further rejection? Would be in touch create issues for you or for her with regard to other family members? Do you have a person in real life that you can talk to about this. It seems that some real life support would be sensible.

RueCambon Wed 09-Oct-19 21:23:22

Do you mean you are adopted yourself?
Start very gently. A friend request. Leave it there for a while. So as not to overwhelm her.

Has she had the same information that you've had? Do you know that she understands you are half sisters?

halesfreeman Thu 10-Oct-19 02:28:55

Sorry for the late reply, but yes. She does know we are half sisters. She spent some time with me when I was very young, to young to remember and gave me a singing teddy bear that I still have and a book. I am just scared she doesn't want to get to know me anymore.

halesfreeman Thu 10-Oct-19 02:31:54

Sorry for the late reply, but maybe she does feel worried to upset my dad or our biological father or maybe even her mother. I do not know, I know she is married now and we live in two different states. I live in Ga where as she lives in Cali. As for the rejection, I don't know, I struggle with Anxiety and might not be able to take it..I do have my mother to talk to, but she just tells me to do what I think is best, but I don't know what is best.

AlwaysCheddar Thu 10-Oct-19 05:46:20

If you want to reach out then do so, as you will always winder. But be prepared for rejection. Good luck.

AlwaysCheddar Thu 10-Oct-19 05:46:36

Winder -= wonder

Aussiebean Thu 10-Oct-19 08:15:40

If she does reject you it has nothing to do with you. She doesn’t know you.

What she is rejecting is the family politics. The realisation that their parent isn’t who they thought they were. A past different to what they always thought.

You don’t know what she is going through. She might have her own anxiety. A bad marriage, ill children, job issues, money worries. Problems that mean adding to the mix the emotions of a new family member is just that little too much to cope with.

Reach out. If you are let down, just remember that is has nothing to do with you.

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