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I just want companionship

(31 Posts)
JoannaCatherine Wed 09-Oct-19 12:38:43

I 'm sittting here at home, kids are at school and I just need to get out and meet someone but I dont want to meet just anyone. I have thought about male escorts, entirely non sexual of course. Any thoughts?

Basil90 Wed 09-Oct-19 12:41:03

You don't want to meet just anyone yet you're suggesting a male escort? Grow up

MarianaMoatedGrange Wed 09-Oct-19 12:47:24

Why would you pay a man just for companionship? Why not a paid female companion if it's non sexual?

Or better yet - find friends by volunteering, joining clubs etc; new people will lead to other new people. Some may know of good single men. OLD profile saying 'just friends to start'?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Wed 09-Oct-19 12:51:15

Got to agree with the others. Sounds like you definitely need a hobby or a job

Pinkbonbon Wed 09-Oct-19 13:15:40

Wow, judgy lot aren't we

Ok first off mariana- I work for two charities currently and have RAN meetup groups in the past - and lets be honest, making good longterm friends is not that simple. Not that I would discourage people from doing these things to get them out and about meeting and helping people of course. Secondly, it isn't really ops hearts desire (at least the one she is mentioning here). Not that it isn't good advice.

And op, I get where you are coming from, I always thought if I went travelling on my own to the big city, a male escort might be something I would consider. Because sometimes we just want to be the little spoon right xD a bit of male company without the worry of 'what does he want from me? where is this heading?'. Just a cuddle and some affection, maybe a cheeky snog. You cant get that from a female friend. Well, You could xD but it isn't what you want lol

But you have kids, you are also talking about inviting this man to your home (in which these kids stay). The man might not be a threat but what about the organisation he works for? Often these buisnesses are a front for other crimes. I'm not sure I would want them knowing where I stay, that im all alone with kids. And...if the guy were to stay with you and rob you...could you imagine telling the police you hired an escort? In reality, I think it's too much of a risk. Especially in your own home when you have little ones.

But I get you, I get the loneliness but the fear of meeting some other asshole or having to go through some drama. And that sometimes a good female pal just isn't enough. We want a little excitement, a little romance. Maybe get yourself a dirty book or treat yourself to a series on tv with some hot actors. I know, it's not the same but it's really the only way to see guys without...risk that I can think of.

Pinkbonbon Wed 09-Oct-19 13:18:45

* risk or worry of obligations

NameChangeNugget Wed 09-Oct-19 13:28:14

There are some very closed minds on here today.

I don’t think what you are doing would be at all wrong OP. If you want to do it, go for it. Use of Male escorts, I think happens far more than a lot of people would expect.

RLEOM Wed 09-Oct-19 13:34:31

@Basil90 that's a bit harsh! If that's what she wants, then that's fine. Maybe it's you who needs to grow up.

mabelisthebest Wed 09-Oct-19 13:39:38

When you say non-sexual do you mean you genuinely just want to meet a friend?

Are there any local clubs or groups you could join? Some volunteering or part time work?

If you’re looking for something more you could try a dating site?

category12 Wed 09-Oct-19 13:41:51

You really want to pay someone for company? If it's non-sexual, why does it need to be a man? Bung me the money and I'll pop round.

SpinneyHill Wed 09-Oct-19 13:43:17

Meetup.com?

RuffleCrow Wed 09-Oct-19 13:43:53

Surely the whole point about companionship is that it's mutually enjoyable? You don't see The Doctor paying people to travel in the tardis wink

Pinkbonbon Wed 09-Oct-19 13:49:00

rufflecrow he probably should, at least their health insurance, the thing's a floating death trap xD

RuffleCrow Wed 09-Oct-19 13:51:53

Actually the tardis is v safe - it's what's outside it that's the problem wink

Pinkbonbon Wed 09-Oct-19 13:57:13

Oh I don't know, i'm pretty sure I could imagine an advert for injury claims with just Rory in the tardis with a patch over his eye going: 'the tardis veared too hard to the right while we were trying to escape the cybermen ship and I poked my eye on the thriftcombobulator. The doctor just carried on staring into space and saying 'I...am the doctor' in various accents. And I was left suffering all day...well millennia actually'.

Then doc from back to the future walks in and goes 'actually, its a flux capacitor'. smile

...clearly I don't get out much. Wheres a that male escort phone book.

dontgobaconmyheart Wed 09-Oct-19 14:07:42

@Basil90 how rude? Loneliness is a veryserious issue that causes a great deal of impact, perhaps take your own advice and appraise yourself of the fact and be sensitive.

OP clearly that is a last resort, I don't think it will make you feel better in the long run as it's not 'real' is it, plus it's costly I assume. What's your situation like at home, are you living in a large town/city? What have you tried so far? How do you think you've ended up in this position?

tropicalwaterdiver Wed 09-Oct-19 14:22:40

You can try whatever you want and can afford.

TemporaryPermanent Wed 09-Oct-19 14:53:50

I wonder what exactly you are looking for, can't quite work it out. I had a lot of massage after dh died, joined a big womens walking group. Sometimes you need bits of different things to make a new life.

RuffleCrow Wed 09-Oct-19 16:10:31

Bit random but can i suggest finding out your personality type before you take this leap? It's not an exact science but the Myers Briggs indicator will give you an idea of whether your 'true self' would actually get anything out of what you're proposing.

My introverted personality type for example, really only gets satisfaction of any kind from mutual, meaningful social interactions - so this sort of transactional thing I'd know to avoid like the plague -it would only make me feel worse. However certain extroverted types might get something from it.

Pinkbonbon Wed 09-Oct-19 17:04:32

Well I'm an infp/isfp and apparently am supposed to hate all small talk and shallow relationships ect... meh. But i can still perceive of a possibility of such a transactional relationship, under the right circumstances. Sometimes people desire things that are out of their usual comfort zone.

For me it would depend more on the individual I end up meeting as to whether I got what I felt I needed from the experience..and really, all relationships are transactional when you think about it. At least in this one he would be honest about what he wants. As well as deep relationships, isfps also appreciate honesty, things being as they appear, co operation for mutual benefit.

We are all products of out experiences and our emotions in the moment, introverts sometimes take risks in order to feel something exciting. Extroverts sometimes prefer to stay in and read a book.

So I think myers Briggs, as fun as it is, might not be much use to op here. But I think setting out a clear idea if what she hopes to get from the exp and if this is realistic, might be a good plan right enough.

FuriousVexation Wed 09-Oct-19 17:13:28

Male escorts will expect a shag. It's why they advertise. So you're paying them £50-100 for a potentially substandard shag and crap conversation, when in fact you could probably be charging them £150 for an hour of sex with you. The most common factor I've found of male escorts is they are punters. (The most common factor of ones who actually make any money is that their main client base is male.)

Is there something that specifically puts you off Tinder etc, given that it sounds more like you want dating than sex?

RuffleCrow Wed 09-Oct-19 17:29:25

If you know who you are, you know what you're likely to enjoy. It doesn't mean you can't ever move outside that but it helps with the odds that what you've chosen to spend your time/ money on will appeal. The OP sounds quite down really and like she needs to do some soul searching one way or another - some people do that best alone and some people find themselves through company.

ISawyouinTescoyesterday Wed 09-Oct-19 17:51:41

Eh? How about using your money, more wisely and get a gym membership. You can talk to all sorts of people and make new friends.. wink

FuriousVexation Thu 10-Oct-19 06:49:12

Tesco

I've seen this mentioned a fair few times on MN - join the gym to meet people. Do people actually do this? I go to the gym to work on my fitness levels. My headphones are in the whole time and as an old PT of mine said, "If you have enough breath for a conversation, you're not working out hard enough."

If someone approached me and asked "I see you just used this machine - I'm trying to adjust it but not sure how, can you help me?" then I'd show them, but it wouldn't be the start of a friendship. (Well, unless I really fancied her/him haha)

FuriousVexation Thu 10-Oct-19 06:50:38

Sorry to derail OP.

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