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To ask how do couples read a book together

(101 Posts)
chocowoko Tue 08-Oct-19 22:58:37

Is it to read one book together or to read together but different books?

Sorry for being a bit clueless but therapist asked us to read a book together as a couple exercise. Anyone ever did that or know how two people can read one book together? Or any tips for this exercise?


IncrediblySadToo Tue 08-Oct-19 23:00:10

Surely there was some context to this?

I would assume she meant read it out loud to each other

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Tue 08-Oct-19 23:00:18

2 copies. or read it one after the other. Doesn't work if you're a slow reader

FriedasCarLoad Tue 08-Oct-19 23:00:26

We read aloud to each other - usually on motorway journeys, in the bath, or in bed.

BertieBotts Tue 08-Oct-19 23:03:10

What about an audio book?

NearlyGranny Tue 08-Oct-19 23:03:43

Take turns to read to each other in bed each night. It's a lovely habit.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 08-Oct-19 23:04:56

We take turns to read aloud, mostly at night. On holiday we take books we both like, each read them then swap.

Audio book is a good shout.

Sron Tue 08-Oct-19 23:07:39

We did actually read the same copy of a David Mitchell novel once on holiday in Italy. We’d just moved house and were drained, and spent it lying around in cafes and in bed.

chocowoko Wed 09-Oct-19 00:58:18

Thank you all for your replies.

Those who said take turns to read, did you mean one person reads aloud one page / chapter and then second person reads next page / chapter aloud?

Do you analyse what you read together later (like in a book club)?
Context is we have had a lot of fights lately, have an upcoming vacation coming, so therapist suggested to do this reading activity to take some focus off the relationship issues and enjoy something together.

OldAndWornOut Wed 09-Oct-19 01:05:35

We did roughly a chapter each, or just as much as we felt like.

He did all the accents too!

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 09-Oct-19 01:11:10

Take turns to read to each other in bed each night. It's a lovely habit.

I adore DH but would properly loathe him if I had to do this.

OldAndWornOut Wed 09-Oct-19 01:12:11


Purpleartichoke Wed 09-Oct-19 01:14:19

2 books. Then talk about what you read.

LilyAraminta Wed 09-Oct-19 01:47:03

I think it depends on your schedules and also how you each prefer to read (traditional book, Kindle, Audiobook?). I wouldn't let the details become another stressor or point of contention. For example if one of you is exhausted at the end of the day and needing to decompress or tackle kid bedtimes, it won't be helpful to have the chore of sitting down with a shared book and reading aloud to one another.
Pick a book and then decide together what approach will work best. I'd aim for a chapter a day followed by a little recap/discussion date once a week (if you two are getting in each other's nerves a daily discussion may be a bit much).
So maybe he reads on his Kindle while on the treadmill at the gym or on the train and you listen to an Audiobook during your commute or while getting ready in the morning. Maybe you keep a paper copy of the book by the bed or on a coffee table and grab it when you have a free few minutes. Then, pick a time on the weekend where you can maybe pour some wine or go to a favorite lunch spot, and talk about your chapters.
As far as what book to select, what did your therapist recommend? It might be fun to pick one related to your vacation destination. Alternatively, what about a chef bio that mixes an interesting biography or story with recipes (Ruth Reichl is a good author for this) and you two can cook the recipe together?
Best of luck to you! I am sorry things are hard right now and I hope this exercise really works! It sounds like a great suggestion!

hormonesorDHbeingadick Wed 09-Oct-19 02:24:01

We did this when I was pregnant. I have no idea how it started. The aim was for us to alternate nights but in the end he read every night as I was very tired and he is much better at different voices. I loved it.

We read JK Rowlings book under her different pen name about the detective. It’s a ‘who done it’ without and obvious ending so there was lots to discuss.

1300cakes Wed 09-Oct-19 03:03:05

Reading to each other out loud shock can't think of anything worse. But each to their own.

We both use Google books, if we read something we think the other would like we add it to "family library" so it comes up on their device.

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook Wed 09-Oct-19 07:20:08

This sounds horrific, DH and I have very didn't tastes in literature and I'm a much faster reader than he is, this would not be a good thing for us.

Countryescape Wed 09-Oct-19 07:23:15

They dont

Lllot5 Wed 09-Oct-19 07:25:24

I can’t see how this is a good idea. I’d hate having to discuss what reading and thinking about. Feels intrusive somehow.
But just read the book then he reads the book then talk about it.
The idea of sitting up in bed together reading aloud to each other is not something I could do without giggling

BZresident Wed 09-Oct-19 07:26:47

Couple sit in bed reading out loud to each other? gringringrin

I thought I'd seen it all on MN but obviously not

BZresident Wed 09-Oct-19 07:27:19


NearlyGranny Wed 09-Oct-19 07:31:03

I don't think your therapist means you to be apart when you read. You need to share the experience, like you would when watching a film, and chat about what you've read, like book club. That way you have a topic of conversation other than whatever loop you've got stuck in, whatever trouble took you to couples therapy.

Taking turns reading aloud means you one day, him the next. It doesn't have to be in bed, but see what works for you. Then you chat about what you have just read.

Did your therapist suggest a book or leave it up to you?

EstebanTheMagnificent Wed 09-Oct-19 07:32:22

I love books and I love DH but I can’t imagine anything worse than this. If working out the practicalities is this stressful then maybe this particular strategy isn’t for you. Presumably the idea is to do something together, so could you substitute a jigsaw puzzle / board game or similar instead?

mindutopia Wed 09-Oct-19 07:36:53

Reading one book together (as in the same book) sounds like a ridiculous exercise. Really who does this? I can’t see that improving your relationship in anyway.

As in finding time to engage in some reading at the same point in time. We do it occasionally (we work a lot so don’t usually have free time for reading), but when we do we go to bed and read before sleep. It happens about once every three months though! We don’t finish many books.

Nanny0gg Wed 09-Oct-19 07:37:07


Never in a million years! Reading a book is for me. Not to share.

If you're going away, surely you'll sightsee? Eat together? Go for walks? Plenty of shared experiences there!

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