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I don't think he's very nice :(

(60 Posts)
timetoditch Sun 12-Aug-07 14:51:24

I've namechanged for this because I'm a bit embarassed.

I've been seeing someone for about 4 weeks and he seemed quite nice - a bit loud and more self-confident than me, but he was sweet, said nice things and made me breakfast etc.

This week, he has been a bit more 'honest'. I don't know if I am reading too much into this - I am glad that he feels able to tell me these things but it has left me feeling that I am not what he is looking for (which is, of course, fine) and that he doesn't really like me in which case, I wish he'd just say so.

Over the past two days he has, amongst other things:

Pinched my 'lovehandles' (I am a size 8, so there isn't a lot of me really) and said "What is this? "

Asked if I am growing my armpit hair - when I said No, and pointed out that I shaved every day he just said, Oh, I thought you were. They're not hairy, honest.

Looked in my wardrobe and said, "Oh, is this all you have? Why don't you try to look sexy some time?"

So, when are you going to learn how to give a good blow job? (never had complaints before, and am happy to improve/ change technique but think it could have been said in a nicer way)

I don't know if he is just speaking his mind and doesn't realise that he is being hurtful or if I am being a bit oversensitive - I have little confidence in myself at the moment, am going through a messy divorce, have put on 20lb in 4 months (although that is under control and, as I said, I am a size 8, so not huge) and have bad skin and hair a lot of the time.

I just want to spend time with someone who accepts me for the mess I am.

So, do I continue to enjoy the company and ignore the things that bother me, should I try talking to him about this or do I just ditch him now?

LazyLineLegilimens Sun 12-Aug-07 14:53:00

errr...I think your name says it all, really.

belgo Sun 12-Aug-07 14:53:09

C. ditch him now. as fast as possible.

you'll find someone else who accepts you the way you are.

charliecat Sun 12-Aug-07 14:53:52

er, get rid.

LadyTophamHatt Sun 12-Aug-07 14:54:40

ditch him.

if he's saying that at 4 week sthink what he'll be saying at 4 months, 4 yrs....



btw, if you've put on 20lb and are a size 8 how teeny were you before?

Peachy Sun 12-Aug-07 14:54:43

Run. Run like the wind!!!!!!!

paperdoll Sun 12-Aug-07 14:56:03

Ditch him - those are sneakily horrible remarks designed to be defended, if you get upset, with an accusation that you are oversensitive and he didn't mean it. At least, that's what I think. It's your decision of course; but you do sound as if you already know deep down that this person is not good for you!

Longer you put up with it, the harder it will be - act fast, like pulling off a plaster!

timetoditch Sun 12-Aug-07 14:58:53

I know, you are all right - it's just been nice to have some company for a while. I think I deserve someone who is a but nicer though

(and LTH, I was way too small before - I have no problem with the additional 20lbs as it makes me more of a normal weight but I don't take too kindly to having it pointed out)

Ok, so now I just need to figure out how to ditch him. I could do it nicely or I could do it with references to his inadequacies. Tempting as it is, I'll be mature about it...

Thanks all

Peachy Sun 12-Aug-07 15:00:42

Just think how much better you'll feel about yourself afterwards. And then you'll attract a man who relaises you're worth more, because you'll know it yourself

LadyTophamHatt Sun 12-Aug-07 15:02:48

I'd just tell him he's an insensitive bastard with a small smelly cock, and he's crap with it too.


That'd do the trick.



(didn't mean it horribly about the 20lbs thing...I'm surprise he has anything to piont out. I've yetto seea size 8 person with love handles.....am i digging thi shole bigger? shall I put my other foot in??...sorry I jop eyou know what I mean, I bet you look fAB)

paperdoll Sun 12-Aug-07 15:02:52

hurrah for the decision to ditch! Good luck, and remember to stick to your guns

WideWebWitch Sun 12-Aug-07 15:04:59

tosser, dump him

magsi Sun 12-Aug-07 15:44:08

I would sooooooooo dump him big time. Its only been a few weeks. Do it tonight (and make sure you say the 'smelly cock' thing........very funny

Dropdeadfred Sun 12-Aug-07 15:47:07

what a first class wanker...dump him.

Sobernow Sun 12-Aug-07 15:50:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beetroot Sun 12-Aug-07 15:54:02

text him about his smelly cock!

Janos Sun 12-Aug-07 15:54:10

Just sticking my twopennorth in. Agree you should dump him as his 'funny' (ie rude and hurtful) comments will just get worse.

BTW I bet you look great. Wish I was a size 8 !

gibberish Sun 12-Aug-07 15:59:15

People who make comments like this are generally insecure I find. You really don't need someone who has to put you down to make himself feel good. Get rid of him before it gets to the point you start believing him - that's what he wants - it's a control thing. GET RID!

LIZS Sun 12-Aug-07 15:59:15

and his plus points are what exactly ..... none ? Ditch asap.

newy Sun 12-Aug-07 16:00:50

Sounds like he's one of those men who tries to undermine your confidence so he can control you. The fact that he's doing it after 4 weeks is also v worrying but good for you as you found out early. He's also doing the tried and tested good cop/bad cop routine so you doubt the fact that he is a bastard. Would ditch him and make it clear that you never want to see him again. Make it short and sweet and don't feel you have to explain too much or he will think he can change your mind/wheedle his way out of it.

Did like the 'smelly cock' thing though, might be worth a punt for the satisfaction.

Beetroot Sun 12-Aug-07 16:03:41

and now you should try andlook after yourself.

Get yourself on a healthy eating diet, do some exercise. YOu will soon find that you are looking and feeling much better about yorself

Dior Sun 12-Aug-07 16:27:45

Message withdrawn

themoon66 Sun 12-Aug-07 16:33:51

And you could add.... 'sorry I've been a bit crap at the blow job thing, but I find it difficult when your cock smells so much. In fact, I've even had to fake every orgasm with you too, which I've never done before'!

Dior Sun 12-Aug-07 16:41:21

Message withdrawn

batters Sun 12-Aug-07 16:54:50

I love it when all the advice given on a thread on Mumsnet is exactly the same!

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