Is my DO having an affair?

[brightside20]

Hello all.

Going through DP phone tonight.

Came across a conversation between them and a long time mutual friend.

They have been talking everyday. 100s of messages.
Some of them are about me. And how awful I am.
Messages about their weekly coffee meet ups.
Multiple kisses on every message.
He's sending a good morning message everyday.
Silly names for each other again used everyday.
Inside jokes.
Some flirty banter etc.

They have similar interests etc. So am I reading too much into this?

TIA. Don't know what to think and panicking.

[EssentialHummus]

Some of them are about me. And how awful I am.

This isn’t on op. I’m sorry, it doesn’t sound great.

[Ebonyandivory2]

I’m sorry but I would not be happy about this and I’m fairly easy going. Kisses are inappropriate and he shouldn’t be bitching about you to another woman. I hate to say it but it sounds like a possible affair. Have you asked him about it?

[brightside20]

He says they are just really close and good friends.
Never had a reason to doubt before.

[OhioOhioOhio]

Awful. Sorry. But better to know.

[Gruzinkerbell1]

Emotional affair if nothing else. I don’t text my closest friends every single day, and I certainly don’t send good morning texts to any of them.

[bookishtartlet]

You must have reason to go through his phone. Where has he been meeting her? And deliberately not telling you? I wouldn't stand for those alone never mind him slating you! What did he say? How awful for you.

[0lga]

Yes it’s an affair. Sorry.

[bigchris]

They're into each other

Is he having jokey banter with you when he's always on his phone messaging her ?

I'd send a text to both of them quoting one of the texts saying how awful you are and telling them both to fuck off

[brightside20]

I was looking for a text with some info on.

They meet in town. He says just friends meeting up means nothing.
The good morning texts and good night messages are every day.
They talk about everything, he compliments her constantly.
After saying goodnight there are multiple messages of just kisses until the next morning.

He thinks it's normal as they are really close friends

[bigchris]

Oh yes , did you know about the weekly coffee?

[brightside20]

He would mention that he saw her occasionally.
I knew they talked sometimes/rarely but no where near the constant chat going on.

[bigchris]

Oh ok read your update, so sorry

[brightside20]

We don't have banter I don't think.

Looks like they have stupid pet names for each other that they always use and little inside jokes that I don't get.

[bigchris]

The good morning texts and good night messages are every day.
They talk about everything, he compliments her constantly.
After saying goodnight there are multiple messages of just kisses until the next morning

Would he be ok with you doing that with a male friend ? Her husband maybe ?

[Ebonyandivory2]

Nope not normal behaviour at all. That’s how i interact with men I’m romantically involved with. I don’t even speak to my best friend everyday. They are both out of line. So sorry OP you deserve much better

[bigchris]

Also where are you when he's blowing kisses all night long ?

Asleep next to him ? Do you have kids ? This is awful

[brightside20]

Big Chris

She isn't with anyone.

[brightside20]

Yes upstairs asleep.
4 children and grandchildren

[readitandwept]

I put a kiss when I text friends and family. One kiss. Very occasional two, if I'm feeling very loving or thankful for them. Never ever followed up by separate texts of just kisses. And there's no friend or family member that I text every morning and night.

And texts about how awful you are?? That's unforgivable, whatever else is going on.

But yes, he's at it.

[SemperIdem]

This is an emotional affair at the very least. Sorry op

[Cittadina]

This does not look good, I am sorry - messages after goodnight just with kisses? Good morning and goodnight every day? I have many good friends, very close friend, and we do not do that. That's definitely partner territory.

[brightside20]

Readit
It's the same amount of kisses on every single fucking message.

Cute little nighty night (insert pet name) speak tomorrow followed by kisses.

Nothing physical could possibly of happened

[NewStart571]

What on earth? He’s taking you for a mug.

The rule I always apply in respect of male/female friendships and whether they are heading into dangerous territory is would the man send the same message to his male friends.

I cannot imagine many men send rows of kisses every night to Dave and Steve from the pub or wish them good night and good morning.

That is actually nauseating and he’s be out on his arse. I’m annoyed on your behalf.

[brightside20]

She would reply night with kisses. And the prat sends just a text of kisses and so forth.

I just can't believe it. Beyond upset.

[Windydaysuponus]

She is obviously on his mind far far too much.
Won't be long until she is in the end of his if she isn't already...