When the little things are annoying...

[anewname]

I have changed my name...

I have been with DH for 13 years, and most of the time we get on great, but recently the little things have really started to annoy me.

Things like:

he starts sentences with "uummmm"
every second word is "basically"
he slouches over his food at the table
I was having a shower this morning and he came in and used the toilet (when we have a second bathroom upstairs).

He is a great DH and father, treats me really well, would do anything for DSs or me, but the little things are really starting to get to me.

How can I stop these little things from getting to me so much that our relationship falls apart?

[CountessDracula]

Why do you think these things didn't bother you before?

Are you feeling restless or unloved or trapped or bored?

[anewname]

Must have only just started noticing them now.

Of those 4, probably bored is closest.

I don't know if I should tell DH that these things are annoying me. His dad has a bad stutter and don't know if maybe DH has a complex too about his speech and if I say anything it'll hurt him.

[CountessDracula]

I would say if he has always done these things and you are suddenly finding annoying after 13 years that to say anything would make him feel terrible as he would think you had been thinking it for years and not saying anything

Why are you bored?
Are you in a rut with hiM?
do you get out together enough and see each other not just as parents together?

[anewname]

That's what I thought (it would hurt him if I said anything).

He wants us to put a list together of the good and bad things about each other. I think he is aware there are issues too.

We do need to get out more as a couple...

Thx

[CountessDracula]

Have you asked him if he is happy or if there is anything that is bothering him?

Maybe he is bored too

What do you do toghether currently? Eg after kids are in bed

[sleepfinder]

He wants you to put a list together?

very much sounds like you're in the same boat - sometimes just letting each other know this, openly takes the pressure off you and things become easier as they're not cooped up in your head.

good luck, anywhichway