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Is it ok for my husband to go out?

(184 Posts)
bunny85 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:05:45

Hi all. We've been together with my husband for 9 years, married for 2. He works full time and even overtime very often (he has his own business) and I'm SAHM (4 year old child) and I'm also pregnant. Generally we have a good marriage, he treats me well. But he does go out to the pub sometimes after work with his friends. It is approx 1-2 a week. He usually comes home at around 7pm (works until 6.30pm), but when he goes out he come home at 9-10pm or so. I just want to ask, is it ok for a man to be doing that? He never gets drunk, he usually has 1-2 pints. Thanks!

Glitterb Wed 11-Sep-19 22:07:46

I wouldn’t see an issue unless he is coming home drunk and waking you/child up tbh

Choice4567 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:07:49

I don’t understand. Which bit do you have s problem with?

Lipz Wed 11-Sep-19 22:07:58

Eh yeah... that's hardly any time out. He's home very early and not drunk.

PennyPittstop Wed 11-Sep-19 22:08:53

He's entitled to a social life away from the family, just like you are.

bunny85 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:10:11

I thought it's not appropriate for a married man to go out 1-2 a week when he has a family at home. When he goes to the pub our son is already asleep so he doesn't get to see him this evening. I thought maybe it's wrong and I called him tonight and was cross with him that he went to the pub. I just wanted to ask other women's opinion whether I'm right or wrong. No he never wakes anyone up and never gets drunk.

rosedream Wed 11-Sep-19 22:11:01

It's what fits right with your set up. It's fine to be out twice a week as long as it doesn't effect family time or stop you going out should you want too.

MajesticWhine Wed 11-Sep-19 22:11:13

I think it would be ok as long as you also have the chance to go out in the evenings or pursue your hobbies and interests.

Choice4567 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:12:23

Well there aren’t any rules and it’s not up to anyone else. He could go to the pub every night of the week if you didn’t have a problem with it.

If you don’t feel like he’s spending enough time with the family then you should talk to him about that

DonnaDarko Wed 11-Sep-19 22:12:50

Why would it not be appropriate to have a social life?

You're allowed one too. Being a parent doesn't mean everything else stops

imnotinthemood Wed 11-Sep-19 22:13:31

I'd be fine with it but as long as you get the opportunity too .
It's all about compromise if he wants to go for a pint or 2 that should be ok but if you want to meet a friend for a drink that should be ok too .

cyclingmad Wed 11-Sep-19 22:13:55

its 2 days out of 7, thats hardly much and being married shouldn't stop people from having hobbies/interest sperate to their other half so long as its reasonable and i'd say 2 days is pretty reasonable to be fair.

InDubiousBattle Wed 11-Sep-19 22:15:10

I think it's fine. I'd go bonkers sitting in every night so I usually go out once or twice a week.

bunny85 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:16:10

We spoke about it many times. He says he needs time to unwind with his friends and he also doesn't see anything wrong with it. I don't think this is ever going to change. As for me going out, to be fair he never has a problem and even tries to encourage me to go out as well, but I hardly do. Maybe once in a few months. I know I should do it more often.

Lipz Wed 11-Sep-19 22:16:20

Of course married people can go out, it is important to have a social life with your friends and not stuck in every night. For the tiny amount of time your dh is gone I'm shocked you even notice him gone, my dh spends longer on the loo !

Benes Wed 11-Sep-19 22:16:28

Being married shouldn't stop you having interests and a social life. There needs to be equal leisure time and it's shouldn't impact negatively on family life but going to the pub while married isn't against the law!!

Drogosnextwife Wed 11-Sep-19 22:16:45

My dp goes to football training 2 a week till 10pm the all day on Saturday. Nothing stops that, not illness, not birthdays, we even have to work holidays around him.
I wouldn't be happy about it OP. I would be seriously pissed off. Dps football annoys me but its a hobby and he gets paid a small amount to go, he keeps it to himself right enough. The pub is different though.

Pinkbonbon Wed 11-Sep-19 22:17:46

Sounds fine to me. As long as you two are getting enough time together as a couple too.

Going clubbing would be inappropriate in my view but one or two nights a week at the pub, home by 11 would be fine with me.

Benes Wed 11-Sep-19 22:19:15

Why would clubbing be inappropriate?

bunny85 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:19:27

Lipz grin you made me laugh!

So up until 9-10pm twice a week is really that tiny amount of time? Technically he should be home by 7.30pm. Also sometimes (less often, but still) he can come at 11.

InDubiousBattle Wed 11-Sep-19 22:22:02

Yes op, a couple of hours twice a week is really not a big deal.

userxx Wed 11-Sep-19 22:22:04

I don't understand why you would think it's not appropriate. Maybe you should start going out more, it's nice to catch up with friends regularly.

squeakybike Wed 11-Sep-19 22:23:17


Benes Wed 11-Sep-19 22:24:23

Obviously clubbing a couple of times a week wouldn't be great but married people can still enjoy clubs pink

ToLiveInPeace Wed 11-Sep-19 22:24:43

I'm generally delighted when my husband goes out and leaves me with an evening to myself smile Out of curiosity, who set 7.30pm as his curfew?

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