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Can anyone explain what I'm looking at?

(279 Posts)
HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 11:56:58

Hi all. I'm new to mumsnet and was pointed here by a friend.
This could really be something or nothing and I'm so confused. I've been married for years. Really happily, I've never had one issue with him in all the time we've been together. But... on Sunday I was walking past the spare room where his laptop is when I saw him quickly click out of an email account that didn't look like his. When I asked he got all flustered and said of course it was but Ive got a terrible feeling about his reaction.
This morning I still hadn't shaken it so started digging. I put his phone no in various providers and it was linked to gmail. (His isn't gmail). Now this is where it could be nothing. I can also get into this gmail with his other (usual) email. It then gives the option to convert his usual account to gmail. So I'm guessing it may be innocent but could anyone explain the following please

1. He has a few passwords he uses. The one to get into this gmail is different from his email one
2. There is a username that is not mentioned anywhere on his usual account
3. This username with gmail.com on the end is a recognised email address but the same password doesn't work with it
4. There are options to look at internet history and location history (this one says paused) but I can't seem to look at anything.

I'm just so confused with what I'm looking at. I've always trusted him and feel bad for even writing this but then keep thinking what if?
I know not all perfect husbands are what they seem!

Funghi Tue 10-Sep-19 12:02:19

I can also get into this gmail with his other (usual) email.

Who is his usual provider?

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 12:33:58

It's yahoo. I read that they can be linked so felt reassured. But the different password and this username that is not mentioned on the yahoo account threw me. Thanks

DBML Tue 10-Sep-19 13:09:30

It sounds like he was viewing a separate email account, that he doesn’t want you to know about. Otherwise why would he get so flustered.

TokyoSushi Tue 10-Sep-19 13:12:22

Yes I'd agree, it's a secret email account...

MrsMaiselsMuff Tue 10-Sep-19 13:15:31

Has he got an android phone? When I first got one I had to register for a Gmail account.

FuriousVexation Tue 10-Sep-19 13:17:59

His reaction is the cause for concern.

If it was innocent, he'd have said
"Oh yes, someone at work was raving about Gmail so I thought I'd try it out"
"Yeah I use it as a throwaway email to enter competitions and prize draws"
"I created it as a siloed account so that my evil ex doesn't spam up my main email account"
"Work asked us to all create Gmail accounts as Yahoo doesn't support SMTP any more"

Not a panicky "What do you mean! Of course it's my Yahoo account! Why don't you believe me?! Can you look... No sorry I accidentally closed the window."

It's possible he's created it to sign up to porn sites, etc.
It's possible he created it to do dodgy stuff like buying drugs on the deep web.
It's possible he created it to sign up to dating sites.
It's possible he created it to communicate specifically with one person who he is almost certainly at least trying to have sex with.

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:20:13

He has an iPhone. I've had a good look round that too and can't find anything to do with any other email. I just don't understand why the password is different if you are going in with your usual email address. Or why you need to have a different username. Which is also an email address. I'm so confused!!!

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:22:05

That's my worry furious! He firmly stated ' I have my yahoo account and that's it'

Legoandloldolls Tue 10-Sep-19 13:24:47

I have Yahoo and gmail. They are totally separate, only linked in that one is the backup details for the other. If you have two emails, you have two accounts. Gmail can be handy for Google things, but for me it's a safe place to deal with my sons education. I have iPhone and Andriod, I dont need gmail for either

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:27:38

Thanks Lego. Maybe you could explain it to me please. So if you go on gmail and enter your yahoo address does the username that shows belong to your gmail account? Does this definitely mean he also has a gmail account? I'm sorry to sound stupid

Mostlyhappy4 Tue 10-Sep-19 13:27:41

I had to set up a Gmail account in order to upgrade my mobile. As one of previous posters said, I think Gmail account can be a necessary part of start up process for some phones/laptops. However, fact that he was as flustered sounds suspicious or at least odd. Could it be that he was looking at porn and thought /knew you wouldn't approve? I'm thinking it doesn't necessarily mean he's having an affair it may just mean he is hiding something.

Aquamarine1029 Tue 10-Sep-19 13:28:18

His reaction is the biggest red flag, definitely. If he wasn't up to something he wouldn't have been so panicked and cagey.

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:29:30

Mostly - we have the exact same phone and I didn't need to do gmail to set it up. Although I don't have yahoo on my phone.

MO21305 Tue 10-Sep-19 13:30:05

Have you tried retrieving the password? My computer stores my passwords if I give it permission to, saves me remembering them all. Go to the internet browser, settings and search passwords. It will bring up a list of any saved passwords for any account on almost any website. Although if he's keeping the email account a secret, he probably didn't give permission for the computer to save the password but worth a shot.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 10-Sep-19 13:30:39

It's probably dating sites.
Can you sign up as someone totally not you?
Have a look around and see if he pops up.
I'd look on Tinder and POF to begin with.
You don't even need to put a picture up to have a look around.

Is he secretive with his phone?
Is he on his PC a lot?
How do you communicate? Whatsapp? imessage? text?

popehilarious Tue 10-Sep-19 13:32:58

Maybe you could explain it to me please. So if you go on gmail and enter your yahoo address does the username that shows belong to your gmail account? Does this definitely mean he also has a gmail account? I'm sorry to sound stupid

What do mean by 'go on gmail'?
So, if his yahoo address is husband"ATSIGN"yahoo.com, you are going to the gmail login screen and entering 'husband' as the gmail username?
Is it logged in to gmail already when you 'go on' it, i.e. you can see the emails, or is it logged out and you have an 'autosuggest' for the username? If it's an autosuggest then that can show anything - it suggests a username he's put in in the past so would make sense that it's his yahoo username.

mawof3soontobe Tue 10-Sep-19 13:34:04

Did you try looking at the history on his laptop?

popehilarious Tue 10-Sep-19 13:35:18

I put his phone no in various providers and it was linked to gmail. (His isn't gmail). Now this is where it could be nothing. I can also get into this gmail with his other (usual) email. It then gives the option to convert his usual account to gmail.

I'll be honest, I don't understand what most of this means.
what does 'putting his phone no in various providers' mean - what did you do?
by 'get into gmail' do you mean you can log in with a username and password (or log in without needing to as it's sent to automatically log in)? or can you not log in?

Do you think you could just be seeing 'autosuggest' somewhere and thinking it means sometihng it doesn't?

popehilarious Tue 10-Sep-19 13:37:17

Also, if you're digging, I'd do it on a laptop (if you have a separate logging-into-the-actual-laptop account, for privacy) rather than a phone. Phone apps have different functionalities than on a computer.
Unless you can get HIS phone and feel justified in snooping - he'll probably be automatically logged in to plenty on things on his own phone.

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:39:56

I'm on my phone and can't get back to look at names. Thanks for the replies.
I will try the password thing on laptop thanks
And dating sites. God I hope it's not.
He works from home (helping his sister move today) so is with me most of the time. He is not clingy with his phone and it's in charge in the hall overnight.
When I say go in gmail. I meant I googled gmail and tapped log in and put in his phone number and guessed the password (one of his usuals) I then realised it took me to the same thing if I put in the yahoo address. Put the password was not the same as when it go into to yahoo log in and put the yahoo address. I just don't understand it.

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:41:28

Sorry that made no sense. I'll try again ....

NerrSnerr Tue 10-Sep-19 13:43:35

Are you trying to log in from your phone? He may be receiving notifications that someone is trying to log into his account. I get notified when I log in to my email from a different device.

popehilarious Tue 10-Sep-19 13:43:51

If I log out of my gmail, and go to gmail.com, i get my two accounts which give the actual name associated with the email address, and the full email address - so "Kate Moss - katemossATSIGNgmail.com"
If you're seeing that then he does have a gmail address.

If I go to a sign-in screen for a new account, it suggests my username (so katemoss) or I can enter a phone no. If i enter my phone no it says 'welcome' and asks for my password. If I put in a fake phone no it says it can't find my google account.

Hope that helps. I'm not really Kate Moss btw.

HeadLikeSpaghetti Tue 10-Sep-19 13:44:07

I googled gmail
Typed in his phone no and it took me to password rather than saying no account (as it did when I tried mine)
Guessed that password which took me to a page asking if I want to upgrade this account to gmail
This page showed a username that is nowhere on his yahoo account
I logged in again using the yahoo email instead of phone no and took me to same thing

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