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Help! something awful has happened

(171 Posts)
Siablue Tue 03-Sep-19 07:37:30

Last night my husband shouted at our baby he pulled his high chair towards him and shouted in his face. I phoned the NSPCC and the police came.

It was awful. They advised that he spent the night away from the house. He just came back and said I know you called the police and called me a monster. He was really upset and sobbing. You know I would never hurt my child. He thinks I am the problem and I am just trying to take our son away. He doesn’t realise the harm he has caused.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop crying I am meant to be in work today. How do I explain this to my boss.

Egghead68 Tue 03-Sep-19 07:41:11

Take the day off sick. Call the National Domestic Violence helpline on 0808 2000 247 for advice. Flowers. How absolutely horrible for you and your baby.

Chitarra Tue 03-Sep-19 07:41:14

Your husband shouldn't have shouted at the baby. Was this a one-off or has he done it before? If it was a one-off I'm stunned that you called the police! We've all shouted at our kids at some point.

You two need to sit down and have a serious chat about your parenting methods.

Whenaretheholidaysover Tue 03-Sep-19 07:44:02

I assume the nspcc was concerned enough to call the police?

pinkcardi Tue 03-Sep-19 07:44:17

Is there more background to this? As a one off I cannot ever imagine calling the police.

Sometimes we all do awful things when we are stressed or under pressure. Not that shouting in a baby's face is acceptable of course, but more that the background would be helpful to try to understand why it happened.

Personally I am better when powering through, so I would go to work to distract myself. But if you can't then take the day off sick.

greentheme23 Tue 03-Sep-19 07:44:53

Why would he shout at a baby? No one needs to shout at a baby. That's not shouting at your kids because they are misbehaving it's losing control and targeting a vulnerable child.

NoParticularPattern Tue 03-Sep-19 07:46:05

Whilst your husband should absolutely not have done that, unless there is a massive dripfeed back story and this is a regular occurrence, then I’m a little bit shocked that you called the NSPCC and the police immediately. The pair of you need to have a discussion about how you parent your child. Unless it is a regular thing in which case you need to leave him.

Siablue Tue 03-Sep-19 07:47:29

I don’t see any way back from this. He is going to be so angry with me.

I never thought the police would come. I just want it all to stop. He doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong.

He was so scared when the police came, I felt sorry for him.

Wildorchidz Tue 03-Sep-19 07:48:07

Has your husband shouted at the baby before or shown aggression? Many parents get very frustrated at babies/toddlers and shout sometimes but that doesn’t warrant a call to NSPCC and the police arriving.

SexTrainGlue Tue 03-Sep-19 07:48:15

A single incident of shouting is shit, but nit a police matter.

What else is going on, OP?

Quartz2208 Tue 03-Sep-19 07:48:37

I have read your backstory OP you did the right thing and now you need to continue to move forward with leaving and reporting

Hadjab Tue 03-Sep-19 07:48:54

Shouting at a baby is never right, but calling the police is extreme.

AMAM8916 Tue 03-Sep-19 07:48:54

He pulled his highchair towards him? Like yanked the highchair forward and shouted directly in his face? That's not good at all. It's pointless shouting at a baby as they don't understand! Also, what could your son of possibly been doing in the highchair to enrage your partner so much?

Firefly111 Tue 03-Sep-19 07:49:44

If this was a one off then I think you’ve massively over reacted. If it’s a regular occurrence and he has problems controlling his temper then fair enough.

Wonderland18 Tue 03-Sep-19 07:49:54

Is there more to the story here? Is he abusive towards you and your scared he’s taking his anger out on the baby?

I agree that he should never had shouted at the baby but if it was a one off loss of temper I think the police and NSPCC is a bit much.

AmIThough Tue 03-Sep-19 07:50:25

How old is the baby?
Is this the first time he's done something like this?
Why was he so angry?
Do you believe he would hurt your child?

isabellerossignol Tue 03-Sep-19 07:52:30

I never thought the police would come. I just want it all to stop. He doesn’t think he is doing anything wrong.

He was so scared when the police came, I felt sorry for him.

Presumably from this statement it's an ongoing issue. In which case you did the right thing. And don't feel sorry for him because he has brought it on himself. He wants you to see him as the victim here when he's actually the perpetrator.

Siablue Tue 03-Sep-19 07:52:33

I have tried having a chat with him about the impact that his temper has on our baby but he just denies that happened.

He has been awful to me for a long time. I am at breaking point.

HarryElephante Tue 03-Sep-19 07:53:29

Is this a one off?

HarryElephante Tue 03-Sep-19 07:53:56

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Siablue Tue 03-Sep-19 07:54:11

He shouts at me every day. Often it’s in front of the baby.

DurhamDurham Tue 03-Sep-19 07:57:55

Leave him, he shouts at you daily and has now shouted at the baby. It'll only get worse, he'll stop sobbing about it one day too and won't even pretend to be sorry.

KTD27 Tue 03-Sep-19 08:00:35

@Siablue After reading some of your other threads you have done the right thing. Let this be the beginning of the end and a new life for you and your son away from this man. You’ve been scared and unhappy for a while but well done for calling the police. Stay strong

AmIThough Tue 03-Sep-19 08:00:36

Yeah you need to leave him. Take the baby and only let him have contact in a supervised environment until he's learned to manage his anger.

MarianaMoatedGrange Tue 03-Sep-19 08:01:06

He's now realised his actions have consequences, hence the sobbing. You must keep up the momentum and get him out - permanently.

Call Women's Aid 0808 2000 247. It may take a while to get through but they will advise you.

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