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Relationships

Partner went mental when he found my toy

175 replies

Lillyrose80 · 19/08/2019 19:36

Okay so my head is a little all over the place today. I would be hugely grateful for some honest opinions about my partners behavior. I think I know what I think about this behavior and what it is but before I make any decisions or question whether I am losing the plot mentally I would welcome others opinions on his behavior.
So here goes.... To cut a very long story short. My partner and I have been together around 8 years, we have two kids together and i am 8 years older than him which I didn't think was a problem until recently.
I left my partner a few years ago due to him being controlling about me going back to work and some other problems and it literally was one of the hardest things I have done. saved money to move and started fresh, however he Eventually persuaded me to come back and my children missed him, I was feeling guilty about taking my kids away from him although I never stopped him seeing them they really missed him. So fast forward 3 years and he can still be jealous, controlling, old fashioned at times but then we can also be like the bestest of friends and have a great laugh with each other and the kids and a good home life.... I stay in and don't go out normally but this weekend just gone a couple of my oldest friends were going for a drink and asked me to join them. I was so excited to see them both and said to my partner I am going out tomorrow night with my friends, he instantly got angry and storming around saying things like well if you can afford to go out go! Knowing full well I would need to ask him for money to go which would make things very awkward. Anyway I didn't back down and stuck to my guns and said yes I am going and that's that. The whole time I was trying to get ready he told the kids to come in and out of the bedroom, he went outside and worked on his car and made it impossible for me to get ready. Then. I asked for a lift to save money for a taxi and he got really cross and said ffs you should of asked me earlier I've been at work all day bla Bla Bla. I still stuck to my guns. Although I felt utterly shit by now I was gonna go. He looked me up and down and said nice you can dress up for your mates and not for me.... As I got out of the car to meet them. So I was home by 11.30om and when I got into bed he wouldn't touch me. I tried hugging him and he was cross and shrugged off my affections. The next morning he said I'm leaving and started packing his stuff. I was like wha coz I went out!?? And he said no I didn't sleep all night your a disgusting whore and I hate you. He then goes to my wardrobe and he takes out a vibrator that I had bought for myself a few weeks before but had hidden from him as I knew his reaction would be bad... Didn't realize it would be this bad thou! At this point I need to add he is a really really selfish lover and I have asked him to please try and take some time to try and satisfy me and he gets sulky and angry so I though the vibrator would be something that could help me in that way.
Anyway I almost laughed and I was like are you serious? Don't you think your behavior is a bit controlling and he said it's either me or that and your obviously cheating, your a slut.
Then he turned around and he said it must be your age you can't get off on normal sex anymore coz your an old haggard woman (I'm 37) and you and your old disgusting friends all talk about your dirty vibrators and sex. I was literally blown away by how immature and venomous he was being. But also however much I thought this is pathetic it really God dam hurt. I never realized my age was a problem! Why after all of these years is he calling me old and a hag? I then start to cry and say please leave I Dont want the children to hear or see u in this way. He wouldn't stop going on and on and on at me I had to stand up to him and say very firmly this is wrong you need to leave the house now. Right now. I am disappointed in you and shocked please leave.. He is a huge man and I'm tiny so it was quite intimidating. He was up in my face calling me awful names. He finally leaves as I lick doors behind and check. On kids who were thankfully still asleep.
The past two nights he has stayed at his brother's. My head is a mess. My kids miss him. I personally do not miss him at all. We have a holiday booked next week and my kids have been so excited to go. I don't know what to do.?!?!
I suppose what I want to know is this normal behavior and am I in the wrong for purchasing a vibrator and not telling him?

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Deathgrip · 19/08/2019 19:40

You know this isn’t normal. He is a vile abusive piece of shit. Never ever let him come back. You managed to get out once before, now you know you were right the first time.