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Finances - abusive relationships

(3 Posts)
mommabearxx Wed 14-Aug-19 15:11:39

Hi everyone,

I'm feeling low today, I have good days and bad days. I've told my DH that I want a divorce and I've even had the papers drawn up. He doesn't seem to fully realize the severity of the problem and has even tried to kiss me over the weekend!!! I guess he thinks I'll just cave again and he can go about treating us like shit as usual.

We are financially ok and I would be financially ok when we divorce. My DH is due some money at the end of the month. We have separate bank accounts and he gives me an allowance (which I have to bed for!). I'm scared of him and dread asking him for money. I'm also in a bit of debt because I am unable to work due to the fact that this has totally messed with my mind. I am, I guess what you would call just surviving.

I spoke to a solicitor and she drew up divorce papers. She said that I can't force him to give me money (even though I am a SAHM) and he has done this for the last 6 months. I would have to apply for a matrimonial allowance through the courts if it got difficult. Has anyone got any experience of this?

I feel like I've broken the back of what I need to do in terms of leaving him but the only thing holding me back is my finances. I am worried he will completely stop me from having an allowance. I don't have access to any of his accounts but surely as we are married half is mine anyway?

Has anyone been through this?

Momma beard

hellsbellsmelons Wed 14-Aug-19 15:39:32

Do you have DC together?
Is the house in both of your names?
How long have you been married?
What did you bring to the relationship in terms of assets?

mommabearxx Wed 14-Aug-19 17:05:06

Yes, we have two DC aged 11 and 9 and I have been the primary caregiver. I worked for 4 years part time but he's away a lot and not really around.

I've been married for 10 years and the house is in joint names.

I didn't bring anything, he brought roughly half of the equity in the house.

This is an abusive relationship (mainly emotional, financial but some past physical) and I'm very depressed. When I did work I found it hard to juggle everything because he did little to help

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