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Sex issue (sorry, TMI alert)

(89 Posts)
CinnamonSticks1 Tue 13-Aug-19 14:43:25

Hi all,

Apologies in advance for potentially graphic post.

I've posted before about a long anticipated night with friend of many years... well it happened, we DTD.

Everything was going really well, but I noticed he would get into a rhythm and then keep stopping again and again. I wondered if he was just pacing himself so he didn't "finish" too soon but it kept on happening (and started to get a bit annoying) so I asked him.

He said he's sorry but he "doesn't want to take the risk because he's already a father of 2 and doesn't want any more". We used a condom and I am also on the pill, but anyway, respected his decision and went to finish him off with my mouth (sorry, sorry, sorry) and again, got into a rhythm and pulled me off him. Offered him other options which weren't PIV but nope, he said "sorry, but I can't"

I'm someone who thinks that sex should have a climax for both people involved (I certainly did, twice) Does anyone else find this a bit odd? I asked him if it was some sort of tantric sex thing about delayed gratification but he just looked confused.

Has anyone else come across this? It felt so weird that it was just over and he left without the grand finale. grin

WhenPushComesToShove Wed 14-Aug-19 18:02:06

What a wanker! Literally

PicsInRed Wed 14-Aug-19 17:59:30

He sounds firmly up the weirdo end of the avoidant punnet square.

TremblingFanjo Wed 14-Aug-19 17:22:23

some sort of magic love-potion sperm which would have me swooning

I want to hear more about where he got that idea from! Fact or fantasy?

Parent999 Wed 14-Aug-19 16:01:11

A little late to the party but nice try.

wijjjy Wed 14-Aug-19 15:04:10

Impending cramp?

CinnamonSticks1 Wed 14-Aug-19 15:03:08

I'm glad my sexual adventures were of such amusement to you all grin

We aim to please (!)

LoafofSellotape Wed 14-Aug-19 14:08:19


Parent999 Wed 14-Aug-19 14:06:54

Yeah fair enough. Its like a good film it had everything. Suspense, laughs, sex and a who dunnit [well more like why he didnt do it]

God Im bored.

LoafofSellotape Wed 14-Aug-19 13:56:05

Apologies, I read read as pervy not humorous- got lost in translation.

Parent999 Wed 14-Aug-19 13:43:24

Sorry, wasnt trying to be crass, I got the impression the op saw the funny side of this. OP came out of it with a couple of orgasms and good story. Onwards

LoafofSellotape Wed 14-Aug-19 13:37:24


Parent999 Wed 14-Aug-19 13:35:58

Any chance you could find another FWB soon? I enjoyed this thread...

Many Thanks

Redcherries Wed 14-Aug-19 13:34:26

Ok, so that’s weird. I’m glad you’re not sad op.

sheshootssheimplores Wed 14-Aug-19 10:09:52

Onwards and upwards OP, he sounds weird and like he’s trailing a lot of baggage around.

sheshootssheimplores Wed 14-Aug-19 10:08:26

Oh no sorry didn’t read the update.

sheshootssheimplores Wed 14-Aug-19 10:07:55

My ex was excellent at controlling his ejaculation for fear of impregnating me but would at least let me finish him off using my mouth.

I always think with sex it takes a good few sessions to see if you’re both compatible. Having sex with my fiancé for the first time was like that Inbetweeners sketch. ‘Did that count?’ No it bloody didn’t!!!!!!!grin Anyway he’s bloody AMAZING now 🤭

CinnamonSticks1 Wed 14-Aug-19 10:03:53

I'm not sad that it didn't work out. I had a feeling that sex would be as far as it went. Possibly even a FWB. We're totally opposite personalities and it was never going to go anywhere serious.

LoafofSellotape Wed 14-Aug-19 10:01:05

He certainly thinks a lot of himself!

LoafofSellotape Wed 14-Aug-19 10:00:16

Ejaculating inside another woman is disloyal but fucking her isn't that's what I thought too before I read the update.

Urghhhhh, grim. Sorry it didn't work out OP.

Parent999 Wed 14-Aug-19 09:56:26

Thats it. I take back all of my previous posts. That guy is just weird.

On a side note, I quite often eat a donut and then spit it back out because I am what I eat and I dont want to be a donut.

CinnamonSticks1 Wed 14-Aug-19 09:55:12

Like some sort of magic love-potion sperm which would have me swooning and running to the alter grin

formerbabe Wed 14-Aug-19 09:52:38

Same thing happened again and he revealed that he thinks having an orgasm as a result of sex is the most intimate part and he is/was worried that it would overstep the mark and make me develop feelings for him


Blimey, never heard that before...

simone1863 Wed 14-Aug-19 09:51:37

Erm, who do I owe my tits to then? grin

CinnamonSticks1 Wed 14-Aug-19 09:43:27

Hi all, just an update..

Ended up in bed again last night.. initiated completely by him I might add. wink

Same thing happened again and he revealed that he thinks having an orgasm as a result of sex is the most intimate part and he is/was worried that it would overstep the mark and make me develop feelings for him. hmm I'm paraphrasing but that was the gist of it.

We have decided to draw a line under this, and just go back to being friends. What happens in X location stays in X location sort of thing.

Such an odd situation but tonnes of fun all the same. grin

PhilCornwall1 Wed 14-Aug-19 07:50:11

I think the jumping to the porn conclusion is thrown around way too much on here.

I had an "issue" some time ago where the chap wasn't working at all and I avoided sex like the plague. I've been married for 20 years and have never had this problem in the past. Ok, I do have a medical condition and get up early due to pain, but it hasn't affected things in this way before.

My wife could have jumped on here (she's on here and for all I know could be reading this and know it's me posting this as she knows my username) and laid out the following:

1. Everything was fine and now he's avoiding it, not "rising to the occasion".
2. He gets up really early in the morning and is downstairs with his phone to "read the news (and have a giggle on Mumsnet)" as he suffers from "pain and doesn't want to disturb me".

Chances are, some would have said, oh he's looking at porn, death grip, wanking like crazy when he's downstairs. Truth of the matter was, I was put on to some painkillers (that I have taken before with no problems) and almost immediately nothing functioned, even when I wanted it to! After 20 years married, I found this really embarrassing, the illness I have has knocked my confidence enough already.

The porn scenario would have been way off the mark, I don't need it nor want to watch it. I did take myself off those painkillers and after a while normal service resumed down below. It was a relief and I then did talk to my wife about it. She said she had noticed, but hadn't over thought it. She's a great lady for sure.

I know this is a ramble, but I think some do shout "porn addiction" too quickly on here. Not all men are porn addicts.

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