Boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. We will be moving to our first new home in 2 months.
Every single argument we have had over the years has been about his mum. In my opinion, she likes to be in control all the time. He is an only child.
For reasons I won’t go into now, my boyfriends father is not on the scene at the moment and may not be for some time or infact never (has a court case hanging over his head).
My boyfriends Mum is ill (she has been on many occasions and never likes to be alone). She has said that she will move to her sisters house on days that my boyfriend sees me, and then when he is at home she will sleep at home. She has high blood pressure and is off of work but has managed to go on holiday for the weekend!
I feel that she puts pressure on him all the time and it’s not good for our relationship. The other day, when his mum was away, we were at our new home doing some work before we move in. He made no plans with me for the evening, He picked up his phone and went outside. He then came back inside and asked if I would like to come to his for dinner. - after he had called to check whether his mum would be home or not!
I am sick of feeling like this and it feels like he is dating another woman half the time. We argue and he tells me off for not trusting him when we move to the new house. I don’t want to be alone there because he is at his mums all the time because she doesn’t like to be alone. I fear about the future I have just committed myself to and I’m scared.
I have said to him tonight that we should just stay at our own houses until we move in together as I don’t want to feel like this anymore - I don’t want to feel like a filler for when his mum is not around and I also don’t want to feel like I’m kicking his mum out of her house whenever he sees me. It’s probably easier to just let her win.
I’m feeling so down. This is ruining our relationship. She is so suffocating and he just can’t see it. She keeps making him feel guilty by telling him that she has a life threatening condition.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Mother in law !!!
lilcreed · 12/08/2019 23:26
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