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I told him how many people I slept with ...and I think it's put him off me,what now?

(30 Posts)
dererer Mon 12-Aug-19 19:46:32

I met a guy and we have been dating but not officially a couple just casual really.
I'm 35 and I've only slept with 4 people.
I told him I only sleep with people I really like and see something more developing.
He said he was shocked I only slept with 4 and got a bit freaked out.
What do I do now?
I wasn't going to lie and add loads on.
He couldn't remember how many he had slept with.

justasking111 Mon 12-Aug-19 19:49:35

Probably is not used to someone who sleeps with anything in trousers.

Mileysmiley Mon 12-Aug-19 19:53:03



One guy I dated told me (don't know why he would tell me this tbh) he had slept with a 1000 women. I replied am 1001 then? I didn't get to be 1001 because we sort of went off each other after that ...

CandleWithHair Mon 12-Aug-19 19:56:21

If he’s the kind of guy to get put off by something like that then to answer your question, you do nothing next! Forget him and look for someone more mature

CandleWithHair Mon 12-Aug-19 19:57:31

His reaction speaks volumes about him and has precisely nothing to do with you and your relationship history,

Thatsalovelycuppatea Mon 12-Aug-19 19:58:44

Sounds very shallow

Rachelover40 Mon 12-Aug-19 20:11:15

Stupid man, four previous sexual relationships is fine. He probably feels a bit in awe of you because he is somewhat grubby and you are not, but he'll get over.

quirkycutekitch Mon 12-Aug-19 20:30:12

Sounds like a reasonable number to me!

JoJoSM2 Mon 12-Aug-19 20:34:11

Maybe he only wants a shag so was put off by what you said? Being a virgin at 35 could make people wonder but 4 is a normal number.

Divebar Mon 12-Aug-19 22:12:16

No number is “ normal” - that implies a higher number is not therefore normal. I wonder if he’s put off because he feels you’re more serious about him than he is of you ( at the moment). I don’t know why you were discussing this as a subject matter actually.. it’s absolutely no-ones business and you’re finding out the complications from revealing this information

Joy69 Mon 12-Aug-19 22:14:58

I'd be wary. My ex threw my previous partners in my face, even ranting that I'd had a one night stand t 19! (I'm 50 now)
The point is what you did, or didn't do before him is non of his business. What's important is the now x

Everafter1 Mon 12-Aug-19 22:24:29

What? When I read the title I thought there was going to be a ridiculously high number.

I wonder of he was embarrassed about his being much higher?

I don't see this being a negative. You're absolutely right to only sleep with people you really like. I thought men liked that in a woman - I'm no expert.

Is he definitely put off? Have you spoke to him since?

Northernsoullover Mon 12-Aug-19 22:27:35

In future I wouldn't reveal that information. Its no ones business but yours. I haven't got a scooby how many people my partner has slept with and vice versa.

BuzzShitbagBobbly Mon 12-Aug-19 22:30:05

If it's just casual could he maybe have felt your comment came across a bit heavy handed so he's cooling a little in case you are more into it than him?

AmICrazyorWhat2 Mon 12-Aug-19 22:34:00

I agree with a PP, he's after a shag and doesn't like the fact that you only sleep with people you're really serious about. You don't sound compatible, I'd get rid of him.

PrincessScarlett Mon 12-Aug-19 22:34:03

Maybe it has put him off because he was looking for an easy shag and has realised you have higher standards than that.

AlongTheWay Mon 12-Aug-19 22:34:48

I'd rather a partner who had been intimate with very few people who were special to them than couldn't remember how many because they slept with anyone who said yes..... Sounds like he's not worth the time.

AnyFucker Mon 12-Aug-19 22:36:15

I don't understand people who share information like this. What is the point of it ? confused

PumpkinP Mon 12-Aug-19 22:45:25

I find if you don’t tell the number
People assume it’s because it’s loads and you’ve lost count or ashamed.

JoJoSM2 Mon 12-Aug-19 22:48:28

No number is “ normal” - that implies a higher number is not therefore normal.

Well, I'm not saying 100 is abnormal but a number that high or 0 at 35 are more likely to put somebody off than 4 or 10.

Sunflower20 Tue 13-Aug-19 02:39:21

What do you mean a bit 'freaked out'? Was he just surprised?
To be honest if this puts him off then it's a very good filter for pricks!

Mileysmiley Tue 13-Aug-19 03:55:16


I think men think it will impress you because they have all this sexual experience. What it actually does is make you think whether or not you need to visit a STD clinic.

DeeCeeCherry Tue 13-Aug-19 04:01:59

A man asking me that question = instant passion killer so there'd be no relationship anyway.

BogglesGoggles Tue 13-Aug-19 04:12:48

I don’t think it’s the number but rather the context. Maybe he doesn’t see it developing further?

HUZZAH212 Tue 13-Aug-19 04:37:05

Maybe he was worried you'll expect him to propose if you consider him a serious enough candidate to have sex with?

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