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My partner filmed us having sex without my consent, twice!

(101 Posts)
MrsGanjabis Mon 12-Aug-19 18:52:50

Hi,
I really have nowhere else or no one else to go to so I'm hoping I can get some advice from here.

Me and my partner (we've been together 7years & we have a 3yo daughter) was doing the dirty one day whilst daughter was at nursery and I noticed he was filming on his phone but he was doing it from angles that he thought I couldn't see, everytime I tried to look in that direction he would move the phone out of view. Anyway I stopped the "deed" and confronted him, he started apologising alot and saying he didn't know why he did it but he didn't record anything he didn't get anything, I asked to look at his phone to make sure, as he knows how insecure I am about myself anyway and he knows I'm not the kind of person who would want to be filmed or anything but he point blank refused to let me look at his phone.

Anyway...
It gets swept under the carpet and a good 5-6 months go by and today, again we took little one to nursery and didn't have any plans so we decided to cuddle in bed and that turned into fooling around, anyway one thing led to another and again I noticed he was secretly filming me with one hand on his phone and when I tried to look in that direction he slipped the phone away and pulled me closer to him so I couldn't see.
Now this time I didn't say anything because, well I think I was just shocked more than anything because I couldn't believe it when he did it the first time but to do it again after I confronted him just made me feel sick.

He knows I have severe trust issues from past relationships and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to confront him again because he'll probably just deny it because I didn't stop and confront him at the time, also he will absolutely not let me look at his phone to see if he has any photos or videos.

I'm sorry I'm only 24 and I have no friends or family that I can talk to, I feel more alone that ever and any advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Tinkerbell89 Wed 14-Aug-19 08:44:23

It's illegal & disgusting. I would be going to the police as this is not on. I don't know how you would ever trust him if he keeps doing this & trying to hide it. May be you need to go to counselling should you wish to keep the relationship going but this breaks trust and is completely out of order. If he's recording you & won't let you see his phone what else is on it he doesn't want you to see?....How long/many times has he done this & you don't know about. Either report to police or request his phone to see what else he's done...if he says no threaten to report him and see what he does. Ultimately you have to decide whether you want to remain with him & how you'll trust him and he needs to sort himself out. Think he has a problem and needs help

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